It’s Wednesday night, and you’ve just seen your more social floormates/ every single person in your 10:10 seminar tomorrow/ your freshman RA head to Senior Night. However, despite it being Wednesday night, Bwog still has midterms (WTF) and, swamped, was frankly all set to let you fall asleep
comfortably in your bed in Butler 209 with Anna Pre-frosh’s profile fresh in your mind’s eye, but alas, who should swoop in and save the day but Deantini himself?
“Dear Bwog,” an email sent at 12:29 am (subject heading hEYYYYYY) said, “U R cleerly th best campus pyblucastion. Evry tim u guy update a bb elefants born ya digggggg???1!? speaking o diggin Im sooo hungry rn do u hav nething to eatt il except s9ur ptch kid or pancakes r wafles omg waffffless
anywa I ws thunkong i thinkk a big wsy 2 make admin moar access is thru teh bstt fooorm f bondinhfg aka drinkkk bonding!!!!!! Rite??
Soooo how bout ths:: u guyz organizse coqtale contest 4 STUDents . whoevr mks beeest ‘deantini’ wins prisee o f unmistajnlnabl value @ it discreshun.
OK gn <3 <# <###33#
We’re not 100% sure what to make of it (can someone please translate “unmistajnlnabl”) but we’re never one to turn down a personal request from Deantini himself. So, send in your best recipes (no mocktails accepted, this isn’t your bar mitzvah), and the winner will receive a beautiful, elegant Bwog shotglass, enscribed with the forever applicable motto, “fuck you.”
Do it for Deantini.