Not today, you crazy young thing you.

Remember last year’s Gillian Flynn craze? Well, they’re making a movie (shocker), it’s being directed by David Fincher, and it has Ben Affleck. Here are some enlightening thoughts on the 96-second trailer. (Vulture)

Oppose de Blasio, and support the horse carriages!.. a sentence we never thought we’d hear ourselves say. (NY Daily News)

NYPD just said it would shut down its “Demographics Unit,” which basically just spied on Muslim groups. How very 2003. (NPR)

Someone thinks SAT scores actually matter. We know. We’re weirded out too. (Slate)

And of course, the requisite weather reference: It snowed/hailed last night, and you sighed exasperatedly, looking nostalgically at your sweaty Bacchanal attire. Put the Hawaiian shirt away, kiddos; it’s sub-50 today. (NY Times)

This man is why normcore exists via Shutterstock