Which character is she? No way to distinguish her, sorry.

Which character is she? No way to distinguish her, sorry.

Once again, Bwog’s resident porn expert Busty Macmillions returns to the one and only soft-core porn set at Columbia in the sixties. Campus Sex Club is also written by a Columbia grad, Loren Beauchamp, aka Robert Silverberg, who is today a highly successful science fiction writer. Trigger warning for attempted rape as well as the usual rape culture, misogyny, heteronormativity etc etc etc.

When we last left Jeff, he was newly initiated into the CAMPUS SEX CLUB. The next day, he is hungover until 5. We’ve all been there. He sadly looks at a letter from his parents, but can’t bring himself to pen a reply. “Just now I didn’t have the strength to make up a pack of lies.” Pretty sure we’ve all been there, too.

Instead, Jeff decides to try out his new CAMPUS SEX CLUB privileges. He is now entitled to have sex with any one of the fifteen female members at any time. He chooses Paula Garson, a junior from Minnesota. He goes over to her place after some studying (good job, Jeff #priorities):

She was a big Scandinavian-looking blonde, with milky skin and big thick thighs and breasts, and I could see the red tips of her nipples through the gauzy fabric of her robe… she supported me better than a foam-rubber mattress… she must have had a dozen climaxes while we were going at it. Finally, exhausted, I fell asleep lying atop that magnificent bulk of womanflesh. When I woke, we were side by side, and I had one of her massive breasts cupped in my palm.

Classic. Jeff wanders happily back across Low plaza and runs into Fred Lambert, who is still a virgin, still a loser. Fred can’t talk to women (what a loser, remember?), so he asks Jeff to tell his true love Carol West (the beautiful frigid Barnard bitch, remember?) that she shouldn’t date Chuck Gordon (the Speccie asshole master of seduction who got Jeff laid, remember?). Okay, I’m glad we’re all on the same page now. Now the story can move forward. Because I know we’re all deeply invested in CAMPUS SEX CLUB’s story.

Jeff tracks Carol down and gives her the old “Boo hoo, Fred’s in love with you, don’t sleep with Chuck!” to which she says “Ugh, Fred, what a loser.” Luckily for Jeff, it starts “raining lions and wolves”, so they deke up to Jeff’s apartment and then Carol takes off her wet blouse. Yeah. This is happening. “The caveman” in Jeff wakes up and he can’t help himself! He assaults her! She punches him in the face!

He comes to his senses and apologizes, but they’re all bad apologies like “imagine how hard it is for me to control myself” and “you are so beautiful” and “don’t tell Chuck.”  She starts crying and immediately leaves. He thinks:

It wasn’t altogether my fault – the circumstances had been pretty damn provocative – and anyway any girl, no matter how pure she keeps herself, is secretly flattered by the thought that the sight of her bare shoulders and a couple of inches of her mammaries can make a great big male lose his head completely.

This, my friends, is what we call rape culture. Everyone join me in thanking our stars that we are not living in the sixties.

Jeff heads to the CAMPUS SEX CLUBHOUSE the next day, but, suddenly character development and he can’t enjoy it like he used to. He skips out on watching a virgin get deflowered, he realizes that he will soon be an aging pervert, he’s grossed out by all the alcohol consumption. A new member is initiated, but he doesn’t like her. “Some of the strangest sorts get into [Barnard], which is supposed to be so damn exclusive.” I feel like I’ve heard that before…

He has sex with like 8 large-breasted women, but his heart just isn’t in it. “Was this what I really wanted?” he wonders. Life is hard for soft-core porn main characters. On one hand, Jeff needs to have enough sex to fill a book, but on the other, he has to provide a satisfying ending by settling down in a satisfying monogamous heterosexual relationship. I feel for him, I really do.

Jeff takes his C.C. readings to Riverside Park. He’s falling behind in all his classes. “My stamina wasn’t enough to see me through both a hyperactive sex life and a full program of academic classes. So the classes suffer.” Student wellness, the ongoing struggle.

Jeff runs into Chuck Gordon, the Speccie seducer. Chuck is STILL pursuing Carol West because, unlike the Speccies of today, he doesn’t give up easy (just kidding, just kidding) (he probably should give up on Carol, to be honest). He bets Jeff 5 dollars (which is what one go with the whore costs, for reference) that he’ll “have despoiled that fair maiden of her treasure” in just two days. Jeff takes the bet. Poor, naive Jeff.

The next night, he heads back to the CAMPUS SEX CLUBHOUSE. Inside, a naked couple foxtrots while another wrestles in the corner. Everyone is only wearing one article of clothing, like just a hat or just a sweater. Then:

The door opened and Chuck Gorden came in, waving a cheery greeting to everybody. With him was Carol West. And she was so drunk she could hardly walk straight.

What a cliffhanger! Spoiler she doesn’t get raped, I don’t want you to worry. This section had a lot of excitement but most of it is Jeff’s angst and women almost getting raped so I’m going to award it a total of 0 ways to respect consent out of a possible 1 respecting consents. Tune in next time for the final chapter…