Do not feed after midnight.

Our next wise senior is Finn Vigeland, COÖPer and former managing editor of Spec, who writes about vulnerability, transit, and the roof of Low. 

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Finn Vigeland, Tuckahoe, NY, Columbia College, Urban Studies

Claim to fame: Speccie, tour guide, COÖPer, cruciverbalist.

Where are you going? First, to Brazil and Colombia to chill with friends and also nerd out around the superior public transit. Then, to DC for the summer to do some policy work, also related to public transit. Then, back to the UWS, for who knows what. Eventually, something to do with public transit.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?

1. Learn to be OK with the fact that, with alarming frequency, you will and should put off whatever you are doing because your friends’ band is playing a show, or because the whole world is going to a midnight movie, or because there’s an EC rager—FOMO, the fear of missing out, is real. But just as real is JOMO, the joy of missing out. It’s more than acceptable to curl up in bed and watch “Parks and Rec” while everyone is at Senior Gala (true story). Just try not to let the JOMO outweigh the FOMO—ultimately, you’re gonna enjoy those nights with friends a lot more.

2. Be vulnerable. I thought I would never go to office hours because they were only if you were falling behind, I thought I would never go to the Writing Center because I was smart, I thought I would never visit CPS or call Nightline because I had it together. I’m glad to have learned otherwise.

3. Cough up the $3.99 for the app Exit Strategy and learn the geography of major subway complexes. Optimizing which subway car you and your friends should take based on where you’re transferring or exiting the platform will save you bucketloads of time.

Back in my day… Four Loko, man. And you could get it at CrackDel.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer. I told a yo mama joke and my friend spat on me. On TV.

Write your most memorable note from the field. Let me tell you about a hypothetical friend of mine named Binn. His friend was visiting from home and they wanted to go to the roof of Butler. En route, they ran into a Columbia friend of Binn’s and asked if they could do a passback of his CUID to get the non-Columbia friend in. He countered with a better offer: the roof of Low. A few potentially questionable shenanigans later, they were climbing the rope to the top of the dome. The view was as thrilling as everyone says it is. Slightly more thrilling: trying to figure out how to get out when all the doors are locked, hiding from Public Safety in the basement, realizing you should have just retraced your steps in the first place, managing to escape, knowing you just had the best night of your life. Hypothetically.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Is this supposed to be difficult? Look, if this question were “oral sex or Gruyère” or “all types of sex or all types of cheese,” then you’d have yourself a fairer playing field.

One thing to do before graduating: Complete the KAC, or the Koronet Absolute Challenge. What’s that, you ask? Be the last customer at Koronet (closes at 4 on weekends) and the first customer at Absolute Bagels (opens at 6) in the same night. My sophomore year roommate Joe and I have done both halves but on separate nights. We have vowed to be the first people on record to complete the KAC.

Any regrets?
Always. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love my four years here. But I also wish I had:

• done some theater
• been to a ROOTEd Sundaes on Mondays discussion
• understood more of the CC reading
• gone out more this semester instead of “writing my thesis”
• known that you could Pass/D/F the first course counted toward your major before I bombed the Principles of Econ final my freshman fall
• met more of you