Actual Wisdom: Philip Protter
Written by Bwog Staff
The outpouring of actual wisdom continues with Statistics professor Phillip Protter, who talks surprisingly little about statistics and surprisingly a lot about football and coffee houses.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I click to save the world, therefore I am.
Claim to fame: I took second in the mile relay for the state of California my junior year of high school; not much has happened since then.
What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience? I disproved most of modern chemistry in my chem labs, and nobody cared.
Back in my day… Postcard postage was 3 cents and a college friend spent $477 for one telephone call to his girlfriend in Europe (in today’s dollars).
What’s the craziest student excuse/extension story you’ve heard? He stayed up all night to study and then slept through the evening exam.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I love mushrooms, but when I became allergic to them I had to give them up. I learned I can give up, if necessary, any given food, including cheese.
What are three things you learned at Columbia?
- Successful football might not be essential to the success of a university.
- Cinderblock architecture is suboptimal.
- An insufficient number of local coffee houses does not seem to affect student academic performance as much as one might a priori think.
What’s your advice to students/academics/the human race in general? Students: get help when you need it. Academics: Get help. The human race: Global climate change is real. Please change your behavior.
Picture via the mushroom lover himself
Tags: 'please change your behavior' what a kind way of telling everyone to stop fucking up the planet, actual wisdom, but if cinderblock architecture is suboptimal what kind of architecture is superoptimal?, don't stay up all night to study folks. you never know when it might make you miss your exam, you can give up any food if necessary? give us some of your willpower