humor us, please

We are deep into shopping period, and there’s little our professors can say to get a laugh out of us. That doesn’t mean they won’t try. Thanks for the thought, professors. We thought we’d continue our tradition of compiling the best soundbites from the past week of classes to share with you, because we care about your mental health during this trying time as well.

Dwyer, Politics of International Economic Relations: “Put that milk back in the oven.”

Maenza-Gmelch, Evironmental Science I: “How many of you are taking this to fulfill your LAB requirement?” (almost entire class raises hands) “Ok, well I care about science.”, and later, “I had to watch like three hours of bloopers from 30 Rock to get in the mood for this class.”

Jae Woo Lee, Advanced Programming: “I can’t bring myself to write easy exams… I try, but I just can’t do it.”

Saliba, Intro to Islamic Civilization: “My memory is, as Trump would say, yuuuge. Yuuuuge memory.” and later, “These discussion sections are taught by fantastic people, beautiful people. Oh look, I’ve dropped into Trump language again. Beautiful people, wonderful people.”

Throop, Educational Foundations: “Half of what you learn as a freshman will be irrelevant by the time you graduate.”

Miller, American Politics: “You might see me checking the time from time to time. I’m not checking my fantasy football league. Well, maybe I am. Sports! C’mon!” and later, “One man, the president, has to make the decision… should I stay, or should I go? Have y’all been watching Stranger Things?”

Xavier Sala-I-Martin, Intermediate Macroeconomics: “When we talk about Keynesians I will put on my Keynesian hat, when we talk about Classicists I will put on my Classicist hat, so you will never know what my real hat is… I don’t have one. I don’t give a shit.”

Cornwall, Major Texts: Middle East and India: “I want to make this the most intellectually challenging class you’ve taken at Columbia.”

Como, Major Texts: East Asia: “Please write your obituary for me. It must include how taking Asian Humanities at Columbia University helped you get to where you were at the time of your death.”

Humor via Wikimedia Commons