This is what a little’s bed should look like.

Living in a quad presents some challenges. You love your roommates, but noise complaints from hallmates seem to happen at least once a week. Your roommates have just joined sororities and their bigs are popping in your room to leave gifts on their beds. Everything seems great: but what happens when the your insane hallmate stops by instead?

‘Twas the day before a midterm, when all through CU
Not a student was happy, forgetting all that they knew;
The dorms were clean and beds made with care,
In hopes that their big would soon would be there;
The littles were stressed, remembering what they haven’t read;
While gifts like clothing and chocolate danced in their heads;
And with sorority girls in Butler, and I in my bed,
I’d just settled my brain for a five-minute nap,
When in my dorm there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Towards the other bedroom I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and heard something crash.
On my roommate’s bed from her “mystery big,”
I gazed in surprise as I realized what she did,
When hate mail, voodoo dolls, and used condoms did appear,
With a pile of shit and an empty six-pack of beer.
With a small note from that crazy across the hall read,
“Remember to lock your door and keep the noise down. Enjoy the shit in your bed.”

Image via Kate Huangpu