Editor’s note: “Too lit for Ancient Greece” is not a thing, Ancient Greeks were some of the biggest partiers in all of human history.

Going to classes is stressful. Having sudden responsibilities after a long, languid summer is difficult. To help with this, two new staff writers went to a session of Reacting to the Past while drunk. Here is their account of this adventure. Disclaimer: Bwog does not endorse or approve of underage drinking, alcoholism, going to class under the influence, etc. 

It’s not even about nerves, to be honest. It wasn’t just us trying to loosen up before anything important, life-changing, groundbreaking, etc. — we just get really excited about rum. So, we got day drunk in Reacting to the Past.

For context, it’s not the first time in our lives this has happened. There have been many a Thursday night when the proximity of the weekend has convinced us this is okay, ending with us hunched over in a cramped stall the next day, the consequence of last night’s activities catching up.

But this was a 3-shot drink taken in the 15-minute interval between classes, not last night’s buzz. We walk into our class ten minutes late on account of forgetting to print our speeches. While one of us effortlessly slides into her seat, the other haphazardly stumbles into not one, but two backpacks. The former begins the session with a persistent, antiquated Game of Thrones reference. Taking five minutes of valuable session time to make smug jabs at Socrates, we realize we are too lit for Ancient Greece. While the Greeks had their Bacchanal, the Pnyx was not the place for it. As the speech ends and the assembly continues, one of us cannot stop impersonating Quavo’s iconic “well, wrap it up den” while the other is seemingly the only person in class who understands the reference.

The session ended with mild disappointment that our session had not been more entertaining. Aside from other moments empowered by the rum-fluence — such as bouts of uncontrollable laugh-coughing, ft a perpetual cold — no one could even tell that we had partaken in a pre-Reacting kickback.

One thing is clear: Reacting is best done when you’re not on three shots of alcohol, but definitely not as tolerable.

Socrates’ head via Encyclopedia Brittanica