What’s Up With Ferris’s New Bouncer?
Written by Bwog Staff
One Bwogger loves Ferris more than she loves herself, but has felt a bit isolated since school started…
I’ve been a Ferris girl since day one. Upon arriving on Barnard’s campus, Hewitt’s difficult pizza and tough chicken quickly sent me across Broadway to explore a broader canvas. After going back and forth between John Jay and Ferris (the Barnard-JJ’s cold war didn’t end until my sophomore year), my heart was eventually captured by the all-afternoon breakfast, panini press, and occasional fish taco. Ferris was my baby, my boo, my shawty, my everything. In its highest moments (hosting Bwog to DJ) and in its lowest (Banana-Gate Spring 2017), the friendly staff and diverse food options have kept me coming back, questionable guacamole and all.
So you could imagine my surprise when I returned to the omelet-mecca to find probably the scariest and most violating installation parked in front of the door. Standing there, in all black, was…. a person?? To be clear, this person was not doing anything additional to appear more intimidating than she already was. In fact, she seemed nice, smiling at students as they passed. But I think my unsuccessful freshman nights downtown had hard-wired my brain to fear anyone in all black standing outside of somewhere I want to go. Whenever I see her, in my head I hear, “is this a real ID?” “what’s your address?” “my buddy over there is a COP should I have him run it?” A cold chill travels down my spine. An eerie feeling. I instinctively suggest we find some dollar pizza and get an uber before realizing we are literally at Ferris Booth Commons, my student ID is not getting rejected in fucking Lerner, and that everything is going to be OK.
But what’s the deal, Ferris? This bouncer is pretty scary and reminds me of a tough night in Hell’s Kitchen. I don’t know how much more carrot sushi I can eat at John Jay, but it certainly doesn’t feel as scary as walking past the girl in Lerner.
Yes the ID is real via Public Domain
Tags: do you even go here, ferris bouncer, ferris pasta, ferris titties, GRRR IM GONNA EAT YOUR FAKE ID, hate to see me go but LOVE TO WATCH ME LEAVE, have fun making that western union call ALONE, I EAT FAKE IDS FOR BREAKFAST, please im 21, these titties aren't underage, who runs this damn website idk, whoDO YOU KNOW HERE, you don't need to drink alcohol to have fun, you don't need to go to ferris to have fun