We don’t just enjoy guilt trips. We run the travel agency.

Leo Bevilacqua, resident New York Jew, is back with a revamped edition of “The 7 Deadly Columbia Sins.” This month has given us a lot to be thankful guilty for! Without further a do, here’s the article brought to you by ‘Feh!’ and ‘Oy vey!’

In honor of the highest of high holidays, Yom Kippur (a.k.a. The Hunger Game for the Jews), Bwog is hear to explain why you might have missed the mark for ‘The Book of Life.’ For those readers who are not well versed in the various agonizing rituals that constitute The High Holidays, God apparently inscribes the name of all the good people of the world into a book so they may live out the next year. Unfortunately, even the good are subjected to all the screwballs and Gulati pop quizzes that life and Columbia seems to throw on the regular. In other words, “may the odds be ever in your favor.” In anticipation of the 25-hour fast, Bwog wants to give every student regardless of creed the chance to fess up their transgression in the spirit of ‘Jewish guilt.’ Tis the season to be sorry!

1. Gluttony – Skipping class so that you can avoid the long line at Shake Shack, a.k.a over-priced JJ’s a.k.a why you currently (or will soon) live in sweatpants.
2. Lust – Hooking up with that kid in your anthro class during the class trip to the Natural History Museum.
3. Greed – Stuffing three Passion Planners into your backpack despite the long line behind you at whatever Diana Hall give-a-way you’re currently attending.
4. Pride – Correcting a professor on a translation of a Greek/Latin word because your 11th grade Latin teacher at Exeter said so.
5. Wrath – Filing a lengthy complaint against your seamless delivery guy because they could not find you in NoCo fast enough.
6. Envy – Eviscerating a club that rejected you in the company of another friend that was accepted by said club.
7. Sloth – Ditching your 2:10pm Film & Politics seminar so that you can nap, despite this being your only class of the day.
8. *Despair – Getting featured on @sadcolumbiaboys and refusing to smile in any group picture because it “ruins your aesthetic.”

*According to the Greek Orthodox Church, there is an 8th deadly sin, which is quite possibly the most quintessentially Columbian.

Probably didn’t even make it on their listserv

You sat through dozens of mandatory interest meetings, spent hours editing your application until it was typo-free, and woke up your roommate three times while practicing your audition monologue. In short, you thought acceptance in this club was basically guaranteed. Then, you get the email and read, “Unfortunately, we were not able to accept you at this time…” reminding you of every college rejection letter you’ve ever received. Joining this club was your dream, so what can you do now?

1. Wallow in self-pity. Cry your eyes out, call your mom, and buy a tub of ice cream to eat out of the carton while watching sad movies. Obviously, you deserved to get in and these people can’t see the genius that you could have offered. Make sure everyone you come in contact with is aware of that for the rest of the semester.

2. Show up to their meetings anyway. When they tell you that they don’t have your name on the list, tell them that there must be a mistake and see how long you can keep it up. If you’ve figured out, stand outside their meetings and sing old Hannah Montana songs loudly so they know you’re still there and still interested.

3. Curse them. Use all the free time you have now to learn the finer details of witchcraft and channel your rage into a good, old-fashioned curse. You’ll have learned something new and gotten your revenge, so basically, it’s a win-win.

4. Reach out and see if there are any other ways you can get involved. Some clubs have open meetings or practices anyone can attend.Theatre productions always seem to need an extra hand to help with make-up and sets. You’ll gain some experience (and some brownie points) that you’ll be able to point to if you decide to apply again.

5. Start your own rival club. Starting a club is quite possibly the easiest thing you can do at Columbia, according to every campus tour ever given. Obviously this school needs another a capella group or debate team, so grab a couple friends and start competing. By next year, their members will be applying to join your club.

You could call it the Buy Sell Undergraduate Law Review

Honour this beautiful bisexual man

LGBTQ @ Columbia honours the 20th anniversary of the Stephen Donaldson Lounge tonight with their Fall Open House at the grand opening of the new Stephen Donaldson Lounge. The open house and grand opening is from 6-8pm on the ground floor of Schapiro Hall.

In 1967, Stephen Donaldson (CC’70) founded the Student Homophile League (SHL), now the Columbia Queer Alliance. It was the world’s first LGBTQ student group. Following Donaldson’s death from AIDs-related complications in 1996, the Student Gay Lounge in Furnald Hall was renamed the Stephen Donaldson Lounge in his memory.

Students, faculty, staff, and alumni are all encouraged to attend tonight’s open house and grand opening. Light food and refreshments will be provided. Register to the event and show support for Columbia’s LGBTQ community by coming along!

Donny boy via Tom Cahill via Ellen Spertus

subject of the most heated part of last night’s GSSC meeting

Each Wednesday, Bwog brings you a brief summary of the General Studies Student Council (GSSC) meeting from the night before. In today’s update, Bwog GSSC Bureau Chief Alex Tang highlights the pizza-based drama that went down last night.

In last night’s meeting, the General Studies Student Council (GSSC) had a relatively heated talk about pizza, which, believe it or not, spiraled into a debate about the fair delegation of responsibilities among Columbia’s four undergraduate student councils. After providing updates of several upcoming events and hearing the speeches of three new nominated board members, GSSC discussed whether or not they should bail out the rest of the Columbia community in the upcoming Lerner Pub event by fronting money for the pizza budget. Detailed information about the pizza drama will be provided at the end of the article.

GSSC also heard the speeches of three nominees for vacant board positions. All three nominees were subsequently approved. The three new board members are listed below, along with memorable lines or tidbits from their speeches.

• Julia Hewitt (Family and Working Students Rep): As a single mother, Hewitt hopes to make GS more inclusive to those with “time-restrictions [and] who can’t make it to all the events.” Hewitt’s proposals include shared babysitting among GS parents, as well as more GS events that cater toward children.
• Sitara Herur (Social Media Representative): Herur wants to make sure that all GS students hear about and are therefore able to participate in all events, whether they’re “in or out of the [GSSC meeting] room.”
• Eric Lunzer (Treasurer): A former Marine with an extensive background in finance and budget management, Lunzer will manage the GSSC budget in the coming year.

Other Updates from GSSC:

• The GS Latinx Block Party will happen this Thursday, September 28 from 5:30-7:30pm on the Lewisohn Lawn. “Despacito” will not be playing on repeat, as Dennis Zhao joked during the meeting.
• The GS Welcome Back Party at Hudson Terrace is still scheduled for October 5, from 7-9pm. Tickets will be released in two waves – the first at 8pm this Thursday, and the second at 1pm this Friday. Tickets ($20) sell out fast, so be sure to be on the website at those times! Limited subsidized tickets will also be available.
• The first Lerner Pub of the year is happening this Thursday, from 9pm-12am. Lerner Pub is open to all seniors from all four schools, regardless of age (you don’t have to be 21+).
• The Faculty Mentorship Program website will launch at noon on Tuesday, October 3. The program is open for GS and CC students, who will be able to choose faculty mentors from a variety of subject areas. Registration closes on Friday, October 20.
• The Columbia University Mental Task Force meets at 2pm on Sundays to discuss policy initiatives for improving mental health. The task force is currently looking for more GS representation. For more information, contact GS VP of Policy Raisa Flor.
• The GS Columbia Peer Advising website has been updated. Students may now make appointments here.

And now for the pizza drama…

Read about the pizza debate

At first I thought politricks was a typo

Happening Around The World: Women will soon be allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia once the royal order is implemented in June of next year. Some strict conservatives believed that if a woman were to drive, she would damage her ovaries or be led to live a promiscuous lifestyle. Saudi leaders hope that the royal decree will help improve the reputation of Saudi Arabia overseas and also help boost their economy. (NYT)

Happening In The US: Some NFL players have recently been taking the knee during the national anthem to protest against racism and police brutality, most notably beginning with Colin Kaepernick last year. Naturally, President Trump tweeted his response. Trump criticised the NFL players by tweeting a video of Usain Bolt stopping an interview to listen to the American anthem. Twitter account, Team Jamaica, responded to Trump by rebuking him to “Please leave The Boss out of your politricks.” (Huffington Post)

Happening In NYC: This morning, a fire on the rooftop of a Bronx apartment had more than 200 firefighters. The fire was on the sixth-floor of the apartment building with smoke pouring out into the sky. Two firefighters sustained minor injuries. (Patch)

Happening At Columbia: The Great Columbia College Giveaway is happening today from 2-5pm at Lerner Ramps! There will be CC merch, sweet treats from Momofuku Milk Bar, Insomnia Cookies, and more.

Q of the Day: If Pinocchio says his nose will grow, will it grow?

Overheard: As much as I bop to Travis Scott, I wouldn’t bop out a baby with him.

Politricks via Team Jamaica