What The Columbia Venmo Requests You Wake Up To Actually Mean

Written by

This speaks for itself …

Ever wonder what the weird shit people put in their Venmo description means? Well, you’re in luck! New Bwogger, Megan Wylie, has worked tirelessly to investigate what the emoji really means… what the slang really means… what the fuck it really means…

We’ve all been there: You wake up sluggishly on a Saturday morning, scarred from the events of last night. After scrolling through your respective Twitter/Instagram/Facebook feeds, you hear a familiar ‘cha-ching.’ Venmo, the helpful friend we love to hate, has a habit of hitting you when you’re down (this may be literal if you’re passed out on an EC bathroom floor or in an EC air shaft). These are the ten charges you’re begrudgingly alerted to on a weekly basis:


  • You went to Mel’s, and tried to hide in the bathroom. You befriended a girl who was in your lit hum class three years ago and gleefully ran to Koronet and split a jumbo slice, only to wake up to a Venmo request for $1.

Semi lol

  • Your friend brought you straight tequila to pregame with and you threw up before you even made it to take cute photos.


  • You tried to escape the #bubble by going to LAVO but you regretted it as soon as you stepped into the Toyota Camry your friend requested.


  • You’re in deep shit with your roommate that you already hate.

Dinner ($8) plus drink ($6) plus dessert ($4)

  • Your history of not repaying your friends has caught up to you.


  • You’re paying your friend for drinks from a pregame that led to a fateful hookup with a guy whose tinder pic is him wearing a Vineyard Vines frocket and holding a large fish.

Drinks ;)

  • You met a GS guy at 1020 and he charmed you with his informed discussion on equal pay, but then he mansplained the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and Venmo requested for the drink he bought for you.


  • You’re not fooling anyone. It’s midterms, and this is Columbia. You went to ButCaf and in a moment of weakness, you and your study buddy bought the giant cookie.


  • Alternatively, you actually were buying drugs.


  • Honestly, I don’t care what this is for. Your friend probably just picked up some Pabst Blue Ribbon, but I just appreciate a really good pun.

Roll with Roti Roll via Bwogger

Tags: , , , , , , ,

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.