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Daily Archive: December 20, 2017

Dec

20

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img December 20, 20177:33 pmimg 1 Comments

Zooming into the new year like

As finals season wraps up, we here at Bwog are rethinking, reevaluating, and reflecting on the weird, sad, dangerous, crazy year that was 2017. Feel free to add your own in the comments!

In 2017, we hope to leave behind:

  • Iphone X
  • Our exes
  • Our grades from this semester
  • The wishy-washiness of the Columbia administration
  • The ants in our rooms
  • Ann Coulter, just because she sucks (lol)
  • Tinder
  • Unironic Dab
  • Spec

In 2018, we wanna see:

  • Commitment
  • More Wonder Woman (Hello, Gal Gadot?)
  • A steady income
  • The implosion of the Republican Party
  • Our friends graduating!
  • Women of color elected to Congress
  • New friends
  • Congress flipping from red to blue
  • Ironic Dab
  • Bwog

Dec

20

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img December 20, 20175:24 pmimg 3 Comments

Pictured: The Perfect Specimen (See? Jenny isn’t the only Shitty Photoshopper on Bwog!)

I’ve been through a lot with my laptop: endless Netflix binges and college applications, unfortunate spills and learning new skills. The laptop is the extension of the self, and your choice in decoration says more about you than your search history. Here’s what your laptop stickers say about you. 

No Decoration

If your laptop isn’t decorated at all, it can mean a few things. Maybe you’re waiting to settle down with the right sticker. Maybe you’re just a fan of brutalism (hopefully not). Maybe you just see a laptop as a cold, austere machine not deserving of human love. In any case, you probably need to spend less time on schoolwork and get out more. The world is waiting for you to paint it with your own colors, just as your laptop is waiting for you to decorate it. Also, this isn’t your laptop. You took the wrong one when you left Butler at 4 am last night.

Stickers From Startups/Corporations

What up, my blockchain! It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to synergy with you. Free markets. Anyway, if you’ve got a lot of Y-Combinastic stickers on your laptop, it probably means you’re a tech- or business-oriented youngster waiting to take out your Tesla and take on the world. The humanities are garbage. VC you on the flippity-flop!

Body-Wide Cover, Especially The Ones With A Marble Or Wood Texture

Ugh, sorry you had to read that STEM part. As a distinguished scholar of the humanities, you balk at the idea of gaudy decorations like the ones on Achilleus’s shield and instead go for a more refined, yet unique look, the kind that makes other people say “I’ll have a Venti Macchiato, please.” Keep working on your novel!

Body-Wide Cover With Stickers Underneath

Barista in the streets, freak in the sheets.

Politics/Media Stickers

Because it’s not enough that you mention [Hillary Clinton/Bernie Sanders/Donald Trump/Your Local Congressperson Or State Representative] to your friends both online and off every five seconds during election season, you deserve to immortalize your devotion and broadcast it to the world. You didn’t phonebank as much as you could’ve, but I’m sure the $5 from that sticker purchase went much further in the hands of those Russian agents. Every vote counts!

Pop Culture

Woah, you watch The Office too? It’s like my favorite show! Prison Mike, am I right? Haha. Just a Jim looking for my Pam. Central Perk! I’m such an April but I wish I was a Leslie when it came to schoolwork! This choice of decoration is legen…wait for it… dary! These are all substitutes for a personality! Save me! Please save me! Note: We do not want to read your fanfic. 

Fuck Spec Sticker

You are the epitome of desirability. You downloaded Tinder once but your phone literally overheated from the number of matches rolling in. You never have to search for a seat in Butler, people nearly trip over themselves giving you prime real estate. Whenever you walk by the farmers’ market on Broadway, free samples are literally hurled at your head. Does it take a lot of effort being that effortlessly perfect?

 

Dec

20

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I’m pretty sure it was Plato who once said, “bitches love elevated surfaces” (or something like that). The phrase rings true for a reason: at a crowded party, elevated surfaces provide a vantage point, a spotlight, and most importantly, space to breathe. Because elevated surfaces are a hot commodity that’s sometimes hard to come by at parties, I’ve come up with some alternative elevated surfaces that you probably haven’t thought of before. 

1. Hanging from the cabinets like they’re monkey bars. You’ve tried dancing on tables, counters, and even armchairs. But have you ever considered hanging off the top of cabinets? Cabinets can conveniently found in any EC suite, and using your God-given limbs to hang off of them is a surefire way to get you noticed at any party.

2. Bring your own folding stool. Why struggle to find an elevated surface, when you can bring your own? This is a great investment for only a little less than $20! Plus, it has even more, undervalued uses: bring it to Ref when you can’t find seating!

2a. Literal stilts. Along the lines of our last suggestion, why not just go all out and bring some literal stilts? Just like any good elevated surface, stilts provide attention, a view, and space.

3. A pile of the host’s textbooks. Since morality clearly no longer exists during parties, search the suite/brownstone/dorm room for textbooks to form a tall book tower in the middle of the dance floor. Look, an elevated surface!

4. The shelves. Partygoers often neglect shelves in favor of their more famous older brothers, the table and the countertop. No longer. 2018 will be the year of the shelf. Simply push everything off the shelf and viola – you have an elevated surface to dance on.

5. The air ventilation system. If the suite/brownstone/dorm room has a ventilation shaft in the ceiling, just climb into the ventilation system! This is perhaps the most elevated elevated surface you can get. If you want to make an entrance, just open the air vent from the inside and fall right out. This option is high-risk, but with certainly high returns.

I spent way too much time on these edits via Pixabay and Bwog Archives

Dec

20

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Blurry & beautiful

Our Senior Wisdom for today is from Fahmida Hussain, who hasn’t paid for her textbooks, loves Pisticci, and misses a better Midnight Breakfast.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Fahmida Hussain, Barnard College, Economics major, WGSS minor, Paterson, NJ

Claim to fame: I haven’t paid for a single textbook during my time here!

Where are you going? I’m going nowhere fast if I’m being honest. Just kidding–I’m going home at the end of this semester, back to Jersey to see my family!!!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1. One thing I learned at Columbia was how to find and utilize the resources available to me. There’s borrow direct, there’s interlibrary loan, there’s library reserves, and there’s soooo many PDFs available online that you can find a lot of books you need for classes without spending a fortune. There’s laptop chargers you can borrow from Butler if you lose yours. There are tutoring centers, the ERC (which is so amazing), research librarians, and so many other people out there who just want to help, so make sure to reach out!

More advice (what else?) after the jump

Dec

20

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img December 20, 20179:11 amimg 2 Comments

Just act as confident as this girl is, and you can do anything

Come on, Columbia! Whether you have three finals to go, five thousand words to write in five hours, or a long flight back home, you can make it through this! You’re almost there!

Bwogline: Imagine paying $91 million for your housing. One mystery buyer did just that; they paid a total of $91.12 million for a three-unit condo combination on the 92nd and 93rd floors of 432 Park Avenue, the tallest residential building in the Western hemisphere. (NY Post)

Study Tip: Try studying somewhere off campus. Finding seats in Butler gets really exhausting after a while, so get a new spot instead, whether it’s a coffee shop, a diner, or a sunny spot in the park. We’d particularly recommend the large New York Public Library next to Bryant Park – you can browse through the Holiday Market on your way back to campus as a reward to yourself.

Music: This song, on repeat, for ten hours. You won’t regret it.

Procrastination: Turn off your wifi, and play a few rounds of the “there is no internet connection” dinosaur game on Google Chrome. (If you’re unfamiliar with this game: just hit the up arrow on your keyboard when you get to the screen with the dinosaur. It’s pretty self-explanatory from there on out.) Then keep the wifi off, and study with no distractions.

Overheard: “God is also banned by Suzanne Goldberg.”

Power pose? via publicdomainpictures.net

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