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May

11

The Secret Is Out: The Best Bathroom On Campus

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Hidden in the halls of Reid – a legit palace.

I feel like I shouldn’t even be writing this article. “But the people deserve to know!”, you say, and I begrudgingly agree.

Here at Bwog, we’re really passionate about the best bathrooms at this school. From our series “Poopin’ in Pupin” to our love letters, we’re determined to bring you the optimal places on campus to cry, procrastinate, or, like, do what you normally do in bathrooms. But I’ve noticed one that has been egregiously kept out of the conversation: The Reid first floor bathroom.

I’ve probably already lost a lot of you. Barnard dorms aren’t super well known as it is, and Reid is one of the least talked about, often being eclipsed by its air-conditioned hallway partner Sulz/Reid. But Reid proper does exist, and in its “lobby” one can find Well Woman and be a well woman (or anyone else) by locating the single stall toilet that is truly the best and most underrated bathroom at both Barnard and Columbia.

This bathroom is huge, gets natural light, and gives so much privacy (I’m not saying you should have sex in this bathroom, don’t, but Well Woman does give out condoms and dental dams right outside the door). And its seclusion means that you’ll rarely be interrupted by anybody trying to open the door (I’m looking at you, Diana 5). It’s cleaned on the same schedule as the Quad bathrooms, aka multiple times a week, so it’s never gross in there. And its location is so convenient for those studying in Brooks Lounge to, like, even breathe loudly, because that room is so quiet Jesus Christ.

To those of you now wishing to use this amazing bathroom: if you’re a Barnard student, you’re in luck! Just walk into Brooks, flash your ID, turn left, and then turn left again and it’s right there. If you’re Columbia, you better have a sign in because the Brooks desk attendants are highkey also the meanest on campus. Let’s hope we don’t get throngs of CUID holders waiting to get in like Barnard students do every weekend at EC!

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1 Comment

  1. Retterhardt  

    Okay, that may be a nice bathroom, but have you been to the HAMILTON HALL BASEMENT BATHROOM? Truly it is the building's best-kept secret. The women's bathroom has SEVEN stalls, count 'em, SEVEN STALLS, to make up for the woefully inadequate seating upstairs. The men's room probably has magical urinals or something. Plus if you're eating in John Jay or JJ's but that one-person restroom is full and you really have to take a shit you can just run across to Ham because no ID necessary for access! This has been a psa. Hope you enjoy. Your lives have been enriched.

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