Opening Remarks: Fall 2018

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Two of them.

The New York City heat wave is finally over, as is the first week of classes. Thus, we bring you some of the most remarkable first impressions from professors, some that may get you excited for the class, and some that may make you want to drop immediately. But that’s your call, not ours.

Adam Cannon, Intro to Java: “You all are not nerds. If you were full-blown nerds, you would not be in New York City. Full-blown nerds hate… people. If you were totally non-social you would be in Cornell.”

Andrew Nathan, Intro to Human Rights: “You’re all adults, you have fake IDs.”

Rachel Austin, General Chemistry I: “There are 170 students in this class. About 15 of you are going to be chemistry or biochemistry majors and the other 155 of you think you’re going to medical school.”

Kristina Milnor, Elements of Latin Prose Style: “The next book I ordered is by the improperly named Mr. Woodcock.”

Aaron Passell, Intro to Urban Studies: “Now I’m sure you’re wondering… why this middle-aged white dude just opened class with a Jay Z video.” [paraphrased]

Ellen Morris, Identity & Society in Ancient Egypt: “So I was looking up hippo fights on YouTube, and at the end, one of the hippos humped the other. These were 2 male hippos.”

Casey Blake, American Radicalism: “You should know that your professor is constitutionally allergic to cheerleading.”

Hilary Callahan, Biology Senior Seminar: “They have all my data. They’re like, wow, this neurotic 50-something woman eats a lot, and works out a lot, and drinks a lot of whiskey.”

Image via Wikimedia Commons

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