Have you ever been walking down the sidewalk and suddenly had your path inexplicably obstructed? Well, now you get to have that experience every day! Thanks to Friedman’s. Pro-sidewalk-walkers Lili Brown and Courtney Couillard decided to investigate further.
We wanted to give Friedman’s a chance. With “fresh” options and a bougie addition to the block, the new restaurant seemed to be up there with Flat Top. Things were promising. We wanted it to work.
Suddenly, everything changed. About a few weeks ago, Friedman’s decided to add some plants outside the restaurant. Instead of a few dainty flower boxes, the restaurant installed multiple large bins. Nay, tubs. As if these giant metal tubs weren’t enough, Friedman’s decided to create a safari aesthetic with tall plants (we have no clue what they are. They look like weeds to us). With this final addition of the weeds, Friedman’s became the bane of Amsterdam’s existence.
We think these plant tubs were added outside the restaurant to protect the outdoor seating from the lay people that pass on the sidewalk. God forbid they have to look at youthful Barnard women trek to campus while enjoying an overpriced salad. We understand privacy is important, but do we see plant tubs at Community or Le Monde? No.
We can get past the idea that we may be obnoxious to restaurant goers. However, it’s the space these tubs take up on the sidewalk that continues to drive us mad. Slapping our faces with their sharp ends, these plants protrude out into the sidewalk, leaving only about a foot of walking space left for pedestrians. Every morning as we walk to class or work, we are slapped in the face (literally) or unwarrantedly tickled by Friedman’s.
If you think we’re exaggerating over how annoying these plants are, take a stroll down Amsterdam and experience the pain yourself. You’ll try to pass slow people and find there is no space to do so. You might even fall into one of the plant bins. Regardless, it will be a hellish experience.
We can only hope that cold weather means these plant tubs may disappear soon, but until then we will carry on and bare our plant scratches with pride.
Tags: flat top will still be #1 in our hearts apparently, forreal though this has been painful, friedman's, huuuuuuuge bush amiright, the bane of amsterdam is a pretty high title friedman's should be proud of that one, we have battle wounds, we tried so hard to give you guys a chance and you let us down again, we've done nothing but be good to you....and also walk by obnoxiously on occasion, why you tryna block us out friedman's
Hurricane Joaquin has already destroyed parts of Charleston, South Carolina, and it’s not over yet. The storm is not expected to stop until Sunday afternoon, according to meteorologists. (The New York Times)
After the shooting at Umpqua Community College in Oregon last Thursday, college students were asked about their views on campus safety, and about their knowledge of emergency procedures. (USA Today)
America’s very first wind farm off the coast of Rhode Island is now experiencing safety problems. Deepwater Wind’s CEO has assured the public of their confidence in the project, but still. Wind turbines are huge. (The Washington Post)
One hilarious flight attendant’s performance of instructions for emergency landing has gone viral on Facebook and YouTube, and for very good reason. (The Huffington Post)
Joaquin Destroying Lives via Shutterstock
Tags: 3/4 of these are pretty concerning tbh, because it's great, but honestly everything's gonna be fine, can't be cheery every week, don't worry be happy, keep calm and carry on, keep calm and invest in wind turbines, keep calm and watch that flight attendant video, oh well, sorry guys and gals, this week's bwoglines brought to you by negative nellie
Written by Nadra Rahman
Black holes seem fake, but they’re actually real, visible, and somewhat understandable, thanks to scientists, large telescopes, and lots of math. Bwogger Nadra Rahman attended a biweekly “Stargazing and Lecture series” given by graduate student Shuo Zhang last night in Pupin, titled “Our Monster Black Hole.” Nadra lived to tell the tale (and dish some cool info).
Despite the cold, rain, and an overwhelming sense of doom as the shadow of Hurricane Joaquin loomed above us, the lecture room in Pupin was packed by 8 pm yesterday evening. The first announcement of the night, however, was a disappointing one: because of the rain, stargazing would be canceled. Instead, attendees were welcome to view the 3D AstroWall or hear an additional talk regarding recent developments on Mars.
After this announcement, graduate student Shuo Zhang launched into her presentation on Sagittarius A*, the supermassive black hole found in the center of the Milky Way. Zhang has used X-ray telescopes to study black holes for years, and pointed out that the discovery of Sagittarius A* as a black hole is a relatively recent one. Though scientists knew it was a bright radio source in 1974, it was not until 1995 and the development of new techniques that they knew for sure it was a supermassive black hole.
Scientists defined its borders and mass by studying the orbitals and positions of stars that circled the body. The best evidence for supporting its status as a supermassive black hole is the fact that it is a huge, enclosed mass (4.6 million times the mass of our Sun!).
Zhang revealed that the space around a black hole can be seen: stellar debris form a band of spinning matter around the black hole, creating a structure she termed “beast-like.” Additionally, the particles that form the band release powerful X- and gamma rays as they collide with one another.
This led to the idea of flares, the times when a black hole emits a large burst of X-rays and in the process, brightens up enormously, recalling the visual of fireworks. Zhang pointed out that Sagittarius A* is primarily in a “quiet state punctuated by some flaring activity.” Since she began monitoring black holes in 2012, Zhang has detected nine flares, each varying in duration and structure. She presented two theories as to why the flares occur: one involving the tearing apart of asteroids, and the other involving the reconfiguration of magnetic field lines around the black hole.
Tags: astrology, astronomy, black holes, black holes are real, gas, god, punk science kids, pupin is popping, science is cool!, stargazing canceled, stars, sucks for bahamas tho, sun, thank you to those who study the sky and explain it to us, the heavens, the sky is goth, wasn't even a real hurricane, we should all be astronomers
It’s October 3rd, and Halloween (or as some say, All Hallows’ Eve), will be upon us in just a fortnight and a half.
The decidedly homogenous ‘hood of Boringside Heights is gonna get eerie real quick. Bwog hopes to highlight some of the most chilling examples of Halloween décor, in an all-encompassing post at the end of the month. So send (real) pictures of spoooooooky decorations around MoHi to email@example.com. Whoever submits the creepiest pic will win a case of seasonal beer, courtesy Bwog.
Example of spooky mask via Shutterstock
Tags: all hallows' eve, competition, decoration, demons, don't go to carman get beer via bwog, free alcohol (!), free beer, fun, ghosts, halloween turn up, martha stewart, MoWill isnt the only haunted place on campus, new york new york, parties, pumpkin ALE, pumpkins, spooky beer, this is america, welcome international students, zombies
Written by Phoebe Newton
Ever noticed the creeping band of children’s rhymes the scroll along a wall of Morton Williams? Well, we have, and we were curious. Bwogger, part-time exorcist, and pumpkin enthusiast Phoebe Newton checks it out for us.
Morton Williams was not always a grocery store. Long ago, before the food, before the ubiquitous franchise, the brothers Morton and William owned only a solitary bookstore on Broadway, bibliophiles with a dark secret.
One windy October afternoon, I make the trek down Broadway to Morton Williams to see what kind of pumpkin spice offerings they may have. Fall only comes once a year after all.
Approaching the cash register with my assortment of fall-themed groceries (a reflection of my midterm induced stress eating as much as my seasonal spirit), I notice that only one of the front registers is open. A panic begins to settle in, and the mob of patrons who have raced to check out create a line that snakes almost all the way to the back of the store. The single over-worked employee swipes items as fast as she possibly can, her eyes darting nervously in the direction of the growing queue.
Increasingly unable to compete with the company that would one day become Book Culture, the brothers needed a plan to ensure that their profits remained superior to their already over-priced nemesis. As parents, students, and children abandoned them to pick out glossy new books down the street, the brothers Morton and William were left with a musty dust-filled store with no laughter left to brighten it’s dank interior.
I groan inwardly as I rummage in my bag to find my iPhone to do some Facebook stalking while I wait. Annoyed, I pull the plastic-covered device out of my stylish-yet-functional backpack, and my heart sinks. The dreaded 10% battery life message flashes before my eyes.
Without any idea of what I could possibly do with myself without my phone, I am forced to scan my surroundings. So this is what the real world looks like, I muse; I don’t think I’ve seen the true light of day since the early 2000s when I got my first Razr cell phone.
Written by Betsy Ladyzhets
There are too many statues on campus, and you definitely have too many suppressed emotions swirling in your head. Let the marble speak for you.
You walk through campus, and they are watching you.
You can feel their eyes following you as you pass, tracing your path from Kent to Lerner and back to Butler. You can sense their ears trained on the pattern of your footsteps, the music in your headphones, the chewing of your gum. You can hear them whispering in a language you don’t understand.
You head past Havermeyer, and the lion stares. He’s challenging you. He wants to test your ferocity, or your bravery, or perhaps your knowledge of ancient Greek. You could be just imagining it, but for a moment, you’re certain that he’s about to rear back on his hind legs and let out a ground-shattering roar. The last time you tried to roar, you were seven, and it came out more high-pitched than intimidating.
You cut across Lewisohn Lawn, and Pan leers at you. He knows, somehow, that you tried to hit on that girl at the party last night with a pick-up line your dad told you as a joke five years ago. He knows that you knocked into someone’s arm and spilled vodka all over your shirt. And he probably also knows that you haven’t been able to jerk off since you did that pig dissection in bio last week. You duck your head and scurry past, face burning.
You find yourself somehow in front of Mudd, and Le Marteleur (or the Hammer Man, as you like to call him, because you’ve never felt particularly confident in your French) stares you down. The last time you walked past here, you made a joke about his weird hat to your friend, and you’re sure he knows. His expression looks angrier than it did before – his eyes more narrowed, the angle of his elbow sharper. He must suspect that you considered going into engineering, but decided something like economics would be easier. He must suspect that you haven’t got the mettle. You keep moving.
Hilary Clinton will grace the stage tonight on SNL.We hope to learn some fun facts about the presidential candidate, and have a few laughs in the process. (New York Times)
Sick of halal? Southern fast food chain Chick-fil-A is opening a location on 37th and Avenue of the Americas. Looks like the PR team is hoping no one remembers the homophobic comments their CEO made in 2012. (New York Times)
Hurricane Joaquin is currently blasting down on the Bahamas. We promised we’d let you know, and it looks like the storm won’t hit the Big Apple. Your possessions are safe, for now. (The Weather Channel)
Our fave Disney Baby via Shutterstock
Tags: Bahamas, boycott Chick-fil-A, buy your chicken at KFC, celebs sans makeup FTW, go Demi!, Helen Mirren, hill is bae, hillary clinton, hillary has no secrets (except on her non-government email), JJ's sells chicken wings, Joaquin let us down, love yourself, nudes, rock that bod, role models, snl, vanity fair, what secrets does hillary have?
Written by Briana Bursten
Morgan Hughes, better known as Trill Mah, rose to Columbia music fame last Spring when she was selected as an opener for Bacchanal. Senior Staffer Briana Bursten caught up with the artist to see what she’s been up to this year with music and life.
“I live on the fifth floor, so I’m sorry in advance for the stairs. I haven’t left the building all day.”
Step after step, I trail behind Morgan Hughes and attempt to make small talk as we climb to her room in the Intercultural Resource Center. After a busy few weeks, it makes sense that Hughes would want to spend a day taking it easy. Hughes, a CC Junior known artistically by the name Trill Mah, has been hard at work writing and recording her first mixtape, The Future Is Now. Just two weeks ago, Hughes released “Ookoo,” a catchy single that appears on TFIN and thematically celebrates the bliss that comes from simply lighting one up and chilling with friends. Though she only has half of her mixtape recorded, Hughes is proud of the work she has put into her project and her growth as an artist.
Raised in Cincinnati on 90s-2000s pop, R&B, and hip-hop, Hughes didn’t get serious about making her own music until she arrived at Columbia. “[Before] I only wrote stuff for talent shows, but it was never my own songs or ‘real’ songs. I never recorded anything. Me and my brothers and cousins would always freestyle,” Hughes said. Though she isn’t studying music academically while at school, Hughes has used her time at Columbia to learn about music and to promote herself as an artist. After tying with Liberty Zoo at the annual Battle of the Bands competition, Hughes got the chance to open for Big Sean at last year’s Bacchanal concert. She’s also been participating in open mics and CUSH (Columbia University Society of Hip Hop) cyphers since her freshman year, and she has her own WBAR show.
Written by Juliet Larsen
For President Petro Poroshenko of Ukraine, this week was a big one. After meeting with leaders from all over the world at the United Nations, by this Tuesday, Poroshenko was finally ready for his most intimidating assignment: giving a speech to the powerful players of Columbia University (namely one special Bwog staff writer).
The line for Poroshenko’s speech extended down the steps of Low Library, despite the rain growing steadily heavier as the minutes passed. The guards eventually had to turn away about thirty people hoping to snag a spot inside. Would be attendees were joined by anti-Poroshenko protesters who lined up outside the 116th gates.
Inside, President Bollinger gave a warm yet formal welcome to the President of Ukraine (as well as his First Lady), touching upon the social conflicts Ukraine has been through in recent years and crediting Poroshenko as the reason that Ukraine has “emerged from this turmoil.”
President Poroshenko began his address to the audience with exuberance, recalling frequent meetings with President Barack Obama over the past week. He claimed that he was very inspired by Obama as a “real fighter for peace, freedom, and democracy,” and that “this is no joke.” He continued, saying that he was proud “to be the first Ukrainian president at the World Leaders Forum.” The positive changes Ukraine has undergone over these last few years have also made Poroshenko proud, to the extent that, “even being a president in a state of war,” he had come to attend the different conferences and forums in the city.
Tags: bwog got a fancy reserved seat, dreamboat petro, go columbia go, i want a recording of petro's giggle tbh, lecturehop, lol he said nobody trusts ukraine, petro poroshenko, petro sounds like petco, thanks obama, this was an interesting event, Ukraine, what a dreamer, world leaders forum, yay ukraine you came through
Written by Nadra Rahman
The hum of brotherhood,
ice and cold
as though drawing a universe into oneself and collapsing it,
the plow and field in ancient memory, and now:
“I am the essence of myself, distilled and then diluted.”
gripped by a hand (not yet 21)
warmed as if by the sun (unseen)
(never felt) (foreign) (nameless)
and separation is almost sweet.
Felt rather than heard: Carman,
mythical and looming.
And no man was denied his fair portion,
their eyes dark as whirlpools as Dionysus cast his spell of
veiling and unveiling.
Poured, chugged, consumed, swallowed, incorporated, assimilated,
devoured, taken, reconstituted, born, transformed, put
was how it felt when the brash youths, swift of foot, took
of the essence and of the spirit and of the secret self,
once hidden behind layers of reserve, but now clearly
evident in spit and speech.
A joyful high note, unmuddled,
turned into the wailing of a
the self now yearning through molecularities
the peculiar mixture that made up identity, fullness,
To be hollow is to be hollow is to be hollow,
limbs greeting empty spaces to discover
caught in transit forever
(between two floors and destinies)
caught in passing,
ephemeral and constant.
Disintegration and distance,
dust to dust:
cast out of brotherhood,
turned monster by the monstrous—
The plow and field in ancient memory.
Tags: alcohol, arts, bottles, bwog gets artistic, bwog gets artsy, crying bc feelings, emo pop punk tra$h, emos of columbia, empty, empty like my soul, go back to the new school you punks!!!!, i feel so emo reading this, i want to be that bottle, poetry, wait this isnt an art school why is there poetry
In this edition of 2Girls1Snack, baby Bwoggers Megan Fillion and Sarah Dahl bring you through the adventures of two overly-gluttonous girls jumping from club to club around campus, masking themselves as women of diverse interests.
Quad Cares – Mondays 8-9 pm, Sulzberger Quad (Barnard)
Basically, Sulz RAs are saints, because they host weekly nights of games and gluttony. Past events have included trivia night, sleep-mask decorating, and ramen creation, and all involve some sort of food: usually candy (think three musketeers, snickers, dum-dums), although ramen was kindly provided on ramen night. It looks like you don’t even have to be a Barnard student–let alone a first-year–to partake, because the RAs never check ID, and the lobby is conveniently located before the swipe checkpoint.
Rating: 5 Stars
Ultimate Frisbee – Tuesdays/Thursdays 9-11pm
These two overly-enthusiastic (and fairly naïve) girls decided to attend the first ultimate Frisbee club with the mentality that if one burns many calories, one will be rewarded with many goodies. They were wrong. Oh, were they wrong. Arriving to the meeting in their old workout clothes, bellies poking out of three-year-old shirts, they were ready to take on a new challenge. They were confused as to why they were led to a bus, but decided not to protest at the risk of revealing their true un-athletic nature. To their surprise, they had a great time throwing a frisbee around! Although they were very clumsy and often out of breath, their teammates were always supportive and kept a positive mindset. After two hours of laughs and faking injuries to get to sit on the sidelines, the practice finally came to an end. As they were ready to reap their reward, the girls were herded back into the bus. I guess they’re the kind of people who “snack on life”. It’s a valid life choice, just not for these two girls.
Rating: 1 Star (At least the frisbee was fun?)
It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fried. Well, less fried actually, considering the fact that Dunkin’ Donuts is set to close 100 stores across the United States this year. Guess we’ll just have to rely on the hundreds of other coffee locations in New York City for our late night/early morning buzz. Sigh. (CNBC)
If you’re bummed by the potential loss of donuts this year, don’t be sad! You will soon have access to even more fried food, thanks to noted bigots/acclaimed chicken sandwich experts! Yes, that’s right! Chik-fil-A is coming to New York City! The first restaurant opens this Saturday at West 37th Street and 6th Avenue. (CNN)
Jennifer Lawrence was recently quoted saying that if Donald Trump were elected as president, it “will be the end of the world.” Her co-star Liam Hemsworth even supported her, stating “I’ll back you up on that.” However concerned they are, they seem to be ignoring the obvious solution: volunteer Donald Trump as tribute for the next Hunger Games! (TIME)
You might have heard about Hurricane Joaquin, set to hit the US this week, but have you heard of Hurricane Joaquin Phoenix? Yes, that’s right fellow meme-lovers, our favorite mumbling actor has now been immortalized in memes across the nation, featuring badly photoshopped pics on weather channel screenshots. Now you can at least have a good laugh before the flooding sets in! (Global News)
Tags: bwoglines, chicken little was a really weird movie, chik-fil-a, chik-fil-a should have pranked everyone by telling them they were opening sunday but then wind up being closed, donald trump, dunkin' donuts, haha what a guy, hunger games, hurricane joaquin, i am a meme lover, i dont know anyone who actually eats at dunkin donuts tho, its the end of the world as we know it, jennifer lawrence, joaquin phoenix, love meme, memes are so hot, more like joaq-meme amiright?!?!?!, now we just need in-n-out to come to nyc, send memes instead of dick pics, what a toupee, without dunkin donuts we will have our own hunger games amiright, without dunkin nyc will be just like the west coast, YA FIRED
Continuing our series of fictional Columbia Personas, we present our next
victim subject: The Butler Beer Squatter.
But first, a story…
Whilst perusing some Communist literature in Ye Old Butler Library, one curious Bwogger happened upon the nest of a mysterious creature. In its den, the creature hoards beer cans and bottles from lands far, far away; beer so unheard of, so obscure, that the ordinary college student–nay, the ordinary Columbia student–knows not of these brands. Upon discovering the creature’s lair, our intrepid Bwogger shared her discovery with fellow staff members. She told tales of Morton Willliams bags strewn about, of empty takeout containers left for who knows how long, and of bottles upon bottles of strange beers. The staff was aghast. Who could this beer-drinker be? Several more Bwoggers ventured out and attempted to glimpse at the creature in its lair, but each time they found only empty bottles and other belongings scattered about. The creature was nowhere to be found.
Disappointed, the Bwoggers wondered what to do with their knowledge of this secret hideout. It was clear that the creature had thoroughly nested in its Butler cave, so there had to be more to this story than the occasional forbidden drink. No…a new species of Butler Camper had emerged: the Butler Beer Squatter.
Tags: bwog gets allegorical, bwog gets artistic, bwog gets imaginitive, Columbia personas, how much do you think the beer squatter spends on beer each semester, Persona Series, the butler beer squatter is an inspiration to us all, what was once in that take-out container? perhaps there was never any food there at all, you never know who (or what) you might find in butler
Written by Betsy Ladyzhets
With the recent arrival of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical “Hamilton” on Broadway, one of Columbia’s most famous alums has become a theater sensation. Betsy Ladyzhets celebrates last week’s release of the soundtrack on iTunes and for free streaming on NPR by taking a look at the Founding Father’s time at Columbia.
In a time before the Internet, telephones, or even the United States of America, Alexander Hamilton first stepped foot onto Columbia’s campus. You might know him as the statue in front of Hamilton Hall, the face on your ten-dollar bills, or that guy who created the national bank, but his legacy is much broader and more important.
Alexander Hamilton immigrated to New York from the British West Indies. At the age of eleven, he started working as a clerk at an import-export firm in St. Croix. Hamilton’s employers were impressed his intelligence and ambition, and when a local priest started up a collection to fund the boy’s education, they generously donated. Hamilton reportedly started that education at age sixteen, but it’s likely that he was actually a couple of years older (and lied about his age, as most boys at the time went to college at fourteen or fifteen.)
Tags: #tbt, alexander hamilton, bwog is not throwing away our shot, bwog wants to see the hamilton musical, fun fact: hamilton was bi as hell (if you want confirmation read his correspondence with john laurens), if you listen to the hamiltunes know that you will have 'my shot' stuck in your head for at least a week, just like our country we're young scrappy and hungry, tbh is there anyone who doesn't want to see the hamilton musical
Written by Briana Bursten
It’s been scientifically proven that when Columbia’s science students aren’t in their labs, they’re maniacally searching Bwog for the latest scoop on what’s going on beyond their microscopes. We decided to give the science kids a shoutout in an attempt to combine academic pursuits with some light Bwog reading. Bwog dispatched Senior Staff Writer and Bunsen Burner Belle Briana Bursten to the CUMC newsroom to get us up to date on all of the scientific searches that surfaced this summer (also, s/o alliteration).
The best way to describe all that happened this summer is to move in chronological order, so let’s begin with the onset of the season and rewind to June. Oh, June… a month named after Juno, the Roman goddess of marriage. Regardless of your marital status, New York Presbyterian’s Audobon Practice was the place to be if you were looking for some man candy during Men’s Health Month. The clinic caters to giving men general health care and treatment as well as sexual and reproductive health care. Cosmo always tells us that men are visual, so this stat is no surprise— according to Dr. David Bell, “young men are more likely to seek care at a clinic that’s clearly dedicated to them and includes ‘men’ in the name.” The clinic has already reached out to numerous men in the Washington Heights/Bronx neighborhoods.
Tags: alliteration rules everything around us, breezy does science, BunsenBwog, bwog does science, cumc, science, science and serendipity and summer and more things that begin with the letter "s", scientific method, shoutout albert einstein, SPURS program, the vietnam war - one hell of a common interest
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