Apr

29

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reasonably priced and a whole lot closer than flushing (La Salle Dumpling Room)

Culinarily, uptown Manhattan is a part of New York that is often unfairly overlooked. We asked our staff for their favorite restaurants above 120th Street, which serve delicious meals ranging from southern comfort to Shanghainese soup dumplings. Next time you head uptown, try out some of our suggestions!

La Salle Dumpling Room
Known for: Shanghainese soup dumplings, rice cakes, Shanghainese fare
Location: La Salle and Broadway

Red Rooster
Known for: Sunday brunch, chicken and waffles, southern classics
Location: 126th and Malcolm X Blvd

El Porton
Known for: Authentic Mexican food (that’s right Californians!), amazing sangrias and margaritas
Location: Broadway between La Salle and Tiemann Place

The Handpulled Noodle
Known for: Chinese noodles (dry and soup options), great vegetarian options, northern/western Chinese fare
Location: 148th and Broadway

great for dates and dinners with family (Pisticci)

Kitchenette
Known for: Breakfast, brunch, southern classics (fried chicken & biscuits)
Location: 123rd and Amsterdam

Chapati House
Known for: Vegetarian and meat curries, roti, rice bowls, great Indian food
Location: Broadway between La Salle and Tiemann Place

Jin Ramen
Known for: Ramen (especially the Tonkatsu apparently)
Location: Tiemann Place and Broadway

Pisticci
Known for: Fresh Italian food in a cozy setting
Location: La Salle and Claremont Ave

images via morningside-alliance.org and foursquare 

Apr

29

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RIP BoSchwo

Your Senior Night plans are cancelled. Bernheim and Schwartz will close its doors indefinitely tomorrow, April 30, 2017, after just three years in Morningside Heights. Despite serving only a short tenure on campus, Bernheim had established itself as many seniors’ weekly Wednesday night plans, a decent place for a giant pretzel, and a hard-ass on fakes. We wonder what freshmen will do now that they won’t be receiving a free Bernheim bottle opener in their NSOP goodie bags.

After hearing a rumor from a friend of Bwog, we gave Bernheim a call to confirm. Though Bernheim & Schwartz won’t be open for a beer anymore, their catering business will continue to operate. When Bernheim moved in during 2014, they replaced Havana Central. Naturally, we’ve got to wonder just who will be replacing Bernheim (and if anyone will be replacing Bernheim; how much space does a catering business take up?) We’re sort of sad to see them go, but also hopeful that the replacement will provide us with a new Wednesday night tradition. RIP BoSchwo.

Apr

29

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As You Like It’s musicians performing on Math Lawn

What better way to recover from V-123 than to go see even more student theater? That’s what Managing Editor Betsy Ladyzhets did last night, when she attended the King’s Crown Shakespeare Troupe’s midnight show (a.k.a. “drunk show”) of As You Like It. The production has one more show, which starts tonight at 8 pm on Pupin Plaza and has free admission.

I arrived at Pupin Plaza around ten minutes to midnight yesterday to watch KCST’s production of As You Like It expecting two things: first, to enjoy an engaging performance of a Shakespearean comedy, and second, to be unable to hear or understand half of the scenes.  The first of these expectations was well met, and the second completely blown out of the water – even at a performance attended by around 150 people, many of whom were drunk.  KCST delivered a show that was expert in its acting, yet fully accessible to its audience, and that submersed anyone watching completely into a fictional world where sins are forgiven, mistakes repaired, and love the highest law.

As You Like It is a romantic drama under the guise of a political drama.  It follows two young nobles, Rosalind and Orlando, as they are banished from the courts of Duke Frederick (Rosalind’s uncle) and Oliver (Orlando’s brother), respectively, and find solace in the forest of Arden.  In this forest, between shenanigans with shepherds and nobles alike, Rosalind tests Orlando’s professed love her by disguising herself as a man and attempting to berate him out of his affections.  The play ends with not one, not two, but four weddings.

Four weddings? Are you serious?

Apr

29

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Land of hopes and dreams and sweaty balls

No matter what Columbia undergrad (or grad?) school you’re in, you most definitely have had experience trying to get an EC sign-in, either for yourself or a friend. (If you’re a grad student trying to get signed into an EC party…..wyd.) We compiled a handy list of strategies below for you to get effectively and efficiently signed into EC so you can enjoy those sweaty parties that never have enough alcohol to make it worth it.

  • Ask a passing stranger. If you see someone leaving or entering the building, grab them and ask if they live in EC and whether they’d be willing to spare you a sign-in. Make sure to seem either a. very confident or b. very sympathetic. Think kicked puppy thoughts, for this second one.
  • Text all your EC friends. If you have friends who live in EC, obviously ask them for a sign-in.
  • Text all your EC hookups. It’s crucial that whenever you hook up with anyone from aforementioned gross EC parties, you get their number so that you can ask them for a sign-in whenever you need. Alternatively, whenever you meet someone at a bar, frat party, whatever, if they live in EC, get their number. Use it.
  • Pretend you’re a Shabbat observer. This only works if it’s between sundown on Friday and sundown on Saturday. Also, if you do this, remember that you didn’t actually sign in – you’ll be very liable to forget your ID on the way out.
  • Get a CC/SEAS friend, wrap yourself around them, put on a big coat, and pretend you’re just one big person. Then your friend with access to EC can swipe in, and you can separate in the elevator. Doesn’t really work during the months of September, October, April, and May, but you can try this during those long, sad winter months.
  • Wear clothes that are the same color as the floor and crawl under the little gate thing. This only works when there’s enough people in the lobby that the public safety officer is a little overwhelmed trying to keep order, and can’t see the floor.
  • Have a CC/SEAS friend carry you through the little gate thing in a box or suitcase. This works better if you’re, say, not a 200-pound football player.
  • Just forget about getting signed in the legitimate way, scale the building, and jump down an air shaft. You’re too cool for sign-ins.

Apr

29

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hella true

The Columbia/Barnard science community is blessed with countless lab research opportunities. Here, a first-year undergraduate researcher documents his experiences with a sonnet. He would like to preface this poem by stating that STEM, and not creative writing, is his forte.

You send out emails left and right:
“Please won’t you have me in your lab?”
Professors ghost you; you really hang tight,
And finally get invited to do research that’s fab!

You don’t know how to use a pipette,
All the PCR results that you get are crap.
You might as well get your data from playing roulette,
Why beat the learning curve if you can take a nap?

Your graduate mentor has the patience of a saint,
Now your gel electrophoresis doesn’t look so sad.
You read papers, review textbooks, and finally get trained,
You’re getting the hang of this – hey this isn’t so bad!

If you like science, join a lab – it’ll be neat!
You might publish a paper one day – now that’s a feat!

bio meme via the facebook group: High Recombination Frequency Biology Memes

Apr

29

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Happening in the United States: President Trump failed to repeal Obamacare within his first 100 days in office, as he originally promised, when House Republicans were unable to draw enough votes. (The New York Times)

Happening in New York City: Amtrak plans to undergo major repair work at Penn Station this summer to fix the station’s crumbling 40-year-old infrastructure. Expect major delays at Penn Station in the next few months. (CBS New York)

Happening on Campus: Go see the 123rd Annual Varsity Show tonight at 8pm! Tickets start at $8.50.

Overheard: “I don’t want to be pre-med anymore. I want to be pre-sugar baby.”

Study Tip: Studying for finals? Listen to some Mozart! Classical music has been shown to reduce stress, among other benefits.

Apr

29

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Strike that pose!

As is customary, Bwog sent its Arts Editor to opening night of the Varsity Show in order to catch the scoop and write the show’s first review. This year, freshly minted Arts Editor Sarah Kinney was up for the challenge. Here is Bwog’s comprehensive review of the 123rd Annual Varsity Show, representing the compiled views of all Bwog staffers (as well as some of Kinney’s personal thoughts). 

While waiting in the will-call line for the 123rd Annual Varsity Show outside of Lerner on Broadway, Debora Spar herself walked up to chat with the woman in line right in front of me. I turned around to my fellow Bwoggers in shock. “Holy shit,” I said to them, all of us murmuring and slyly taking photos. “That’s DSpar.” It was in that moment I knew I was in for quite the evening.

This year’s Varsity Show, A Tale of Two Colleges, was co-written by Amelia Arnold (BC ’17) and Mark Lerner (CC ’18), directed by Kyle Marshall (CC ’17), and produced by Rachel Andrews (BC ’19) and Alana Koenig (BC ’18). The Broadway-style music was composed by Simon Broucke (CC ’19) and Max Gumbel (CC ’18) and the moves were choreographed by Annie Block (CC ’19). As I settled into my fancy third row press seat, I looked up and realized—for the second time in the past ten minutes—that Debora Spar was right in front of me, sitting front and center in the very first row. The lights dimmed, and the show began.

Lots more about the Varsity Show after the jump.

Apr

28

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straight up to my face

Ever since the ban/relocation of the Columbia University Marching Band’s Orgo Night, there has been a series of mishaps and miscommunication on the part of the Columbia administration. Bwogger Amara Banks calls them out on their fake love. 

Since last semester, a collection of frustrated Columbia University Marching Band alumni has penned a total of 10 defenses of Orgo Night. Created in the style of pamphlets, the group desired to express their disagreement and frustration with the tradition’s cancellation.

After its 10th publication on March 26th, a letter addressed to President Bollinger (and emailed to several other campus administrators, including Ann Thronton and Deantini) essentially asked, “What’s the deal?” Their letter opens with a summary of the group’s communications with the university—emails and letter sent to him, Thornton and Valentini. According to Hamiltonius, the administration’s response has consistently been: “The University administration knows best and that no action will be taken in response to alumni concerns.”

The group began drafting and publishing pamphlets in another attempt to start conversation with the administration, sending the essays both via email and snail. The letter included a summary of the conflict and their frustration before ultimately calling for a response:

“Where do we go from here? We are alumni who love Columbia, who actively participate in alumni events and reunions, who return to Columbia for homecoming and Days on Campus, who interview high school students for the Admissions Office, and who attend athletic events to cheer on our Lions… What do we want? We want you and Dean Valentini to stop ignoring us and putting us off with platitudes and form letters.”

Nice turkey where’s the beef

Apr

28

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I agree.

When we listlessly sit in lecture, we tend to do various things — sleep, doodle, viciously glare at others, noisily eat some concoction inevitably involving peanut butter, and write some shit in our notes. As we look at our notes for the first time during Reading Week, let’s commemorate our recorded moments of triumph, despair, surprise, and resignation.

  • “Yikes!!!!!!”
  • “We’ve got a looooong way to go”
  • “Devil looks like Dobby”
  • “I hate queer theory” x 3
  • “Performativity”
  • “Why is Oedipus complex in nearly every book?”
  • “A glimpse of evening sunlight signifies not freedom, but death”
  • “I Hate This Class”
  • “I! Need! To! Pee!”
  • “‘Meow’ – our defense mechanism”
  • “M gives student what serpent said to Adam + Eve, student doesn’t understand M shitting on subjects”
  • “Lecture Scares The Poor Prospie”
  • “Woolf’s lighthouse = phallic symbol”
  • “Bwog pitch: how to distract yourself in class when you need to pee”
  • “Regan = incestuous :0”
  • “WOW!”

Notes via Betsy Ladyzhets

Apr

28

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Thanks

As my great-great-great-grandmother always used to say, one must not always rely on external validation. The seasons change, and people vary, but there is perhaps only one constant — you. Validation that comes from within rather than from without is as firm a foundation as whatever the hell is holding up Butler after all these years of suffering. It is as constant as the turning of the sun, my LitHum classmates using the word “dichotomy”, and my neighbors smoking weed on weeknights. Yet, someone else is more constant than these constant things, and it is that one person who always likes our posts through the Facebook widget.

I see you, you beautiful anonymous user, liking my shitty Bwoglines content the moment it is posted. Cheetahs travel at 109.4-120.7 km/h, peregrine falcons travel at 389 km/h, and black marlins travel 129 km/h, but 3*10^8 m/s is the speed at which you travel to like our posts and the speed in which I fell in love with you. May your days be merry, and may you keep refreshing our website (or continuing to be a bot).

Apr

28

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The wisest of them all

It’s not every day that you meet someone “wise.”  For such a terrifying dearth of wisdom, I often seek good, home-grown wisdom in literary characters. For instance, I would call myself a “stan” of Nestor — Nestor is wise. Nestor is also a senior. Therefore, if you are a senior, you are wise. If you are not a senior, you’re out of luck, but you can redeem yourself by nominating someone for Senior Wisdoms.

Nominations are due today at 11:59 pm. Send their name, email, and a brief description of why your chosen senior might be so wise to tips@bwog.com. If you want to be sneaky, submit through our anonymous form.

Florida is a phallic object via Eric Gaba

Apr

28

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He has the key to a bottomless pit, but who has the key to my heart?

Happening in the world: On Wednesday, NASA’s Cassini spacecraft captured the closest-ever pictures of Saturn’s atmosphere. It also found a quote unquote “giant hurricane.” (Space.com)

Happening in NYC: Cutting bathroom tissue as the inaugural ribbon, the toilet authorities of NYC opened a public bathroom that cost nearly $300,000 to make (it has imported tiles and classical music). (TIME)

Happening on campus: Later today at 3 pm in the Satow Room on the 5th floor of Lerner, the Office of Financial Aid will host a party of sorts concerning reapplying for financial aid. There will be useful information and dim-sum.

Overheard: “Something was put into a bank vault and never put again.”
“Sometimes I quote myself in Bwoglines.”

Health goth tip: “Don’t buy a bag of Doritos at 2 am in the morning because you’ll end up eating half the bag.” – Anonymous

The Angel with the Key to the Bottomless Pit by Albrecht Dürer via the Met

Apr

27

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My personal favorite.

One of the best ways Bwog gauges campus impressions of our content is by reading our comments from lovely viewers like you. And we read everything—from angry slurs, to defensive anecdotes, to half-assed praise. Here are a few of our favorites from this semester. 

 

Most Underrepresented:

Always looking to support underrepresented viewpoints on campus.

 

Best Mathematical Calculations:

…Bernard?

 

Most Helpful:

Thank you, Amanda!

 

Most Romantic: 

 

Best Mom:

Thanks from Bwog, mom. For all that you do.

 

Most Blunt: 

Good question.

 

Most Genuine: 

We smiled!

 

Most Spiteful:

 

Most Unnecessarily Salty At Spec, Too:

 

“Best” “Quotation” “Marks:”

“Thanks.”

 

Most Vague: 

???

Apr

27

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I spent way too much time making this

Rafael Ortiz, memer supreme, was recently elected as the Pre-Professional Representative of CCSC. We don’t know about you, but Daily Editor Youngweon Lee thinks this is…fishy. Here is her conspiracy theory.

Around the end of last semester, columbia buy sell memes was created by a group of edgy meme-y students. As it quickly became everyone’s new favorite method of procrastination, some memers started to stand out more than others, mostly for their prolific posts, sometimes funny, sometimes not. First it was Rasmi, then it was Rafael Ortiz. I don’t know why Rasmi just kinda stopped posting; he was funny. My personal opinion on Rafael’s memes is that they’re hit or miss, and mostly shitposts, but then again, that’s pretty much an exact description of my Bwog articles, so I can’t judge.

So everyone (including me) thought Rafael didn’t have a life outside of memes, but then he friended everyone in this school on Facebook and announced his CCSC campaign. I mean, like, what? Where did that come from? And he ran for pre-professional representative, of all things. Who even runs for that? Rafael Ortiz, that’s who. And he won.

What’s the conspiracy?

Apr

27

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Should you see the Varsity Show for 50 bucks?

Columbia’s famous musical theater tradition, the Varsity Show, is happening this weekend. Though there are a few ticket options, the most pricy are $50 “VIP” tickets, which promise “front row seats as well as VIP Treatment.” Though we don’t know what that quite entails, Bwog had some ideas as to what would make that ticket worth 50 dollars.

  •  Champagne on tap
  • A foot servant
  • A roasting from Kate McKinnon
  • An apology letter
  • An overpriced designer scarf from Barnard Buy Sell Trade
  • Ear plugs
  • A sleeping mask and melatonin
  • Free laundry while you watch the show
  • The styrofoam reclining lady from last years show
  • Your time back
  • A Canada Goose jacket
  • A paid summer internship
  • Subsidized Barnard tuition
  • Unlimited meal swipes
  • A studio single in 110

 

V123 via Varsity Show Facebook Event

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