Since NSOP started on Monday, Bwog has received some pretty intriguing tips. From mascot makeovers to frosh dropping fifties (their $50 bracelets, that is), we’ve compiled some choice notes from the (very sloppy) field.
During The Day:
Renovations on the 5th floor of Carman pic.twitter.com/wbCymGwxUb
— Bwog (@bwog) August 30, 2016
— Columbia Football (@ColumbiaLionsFB) August 28, 2016
Plus, a bonus tip for first-years…
Update: First-years are throwing out their NSOP wristbands…they have to pay $50 for new ones…….. #BwogDoesNSOP
— Bwog (@bwog) August 30, 2016
We took a look at today’s NSOP schedule and, well…we’re sorry. Just hold in there. Your required activities may look abysmal, but they only occupy a small fraction of the day. We suggest that you sleep in and grab your breakfast from Absolute Bagels to get your Wednesday started on the right foot. Hell, we’ll even show you how to get to your Bagel Destiny.
After your required events for the day, nothing is holding you back from partaking in some optional NSLOPPY fun. Just remember that sending wild/funny/disgusting overseens to firstname.lastname@example.org is always mandatory.
Directions to Absolute Bagels (from 116th & Broadway):
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Eat pizza at the Diana Center on Barnard’s campus. If you’re a CC/SEAS/GS student, don’t be afraid: there are always tons of non-Barnard students in the Diana (and on Barnard’s campus in general).
From The Archives: A brief history of the forbidden love between Barnard students and JJ’s.
Okay, so you’re done with your academic assemblies (and LitHum lecture/Q&A period). Yes, you could sleep or continue socializing or sit outside Butler smoking cigarettes (for the true Columbia experience), but you could also do something worthwhile with your time. In registering for classes, you might have been dismayed that you were assigned a University Writing section that conflicted with another class you wanted to take. Or maybe you wanted to take Frontiers of Science first, to get it out of the way. Luckily for you, we’re here to explain what to do in such situations. All petition forms are located in this document.
Changing Your UWriting Section
To change your UWriting section, you are supposed to have a conflict with a required class, another academic obligation, or a conflict with your athletic schedule. How strictly will they verify an academic conflict? As long as it makes sense, it seems, you should be in the clear. The UWriting office is in 310 Philosophy Hall—when you enter Philosophy Hall, it’s the large room at the end of the hall on your right. You’ll need a filled out copy of the academic petition. Otherwise, you can bring along somebody who you want to switch sections with, and talk to the secretary in the UWriting office. This is also a way you can switch into/out of one of the UWriting themed sections, but that isn’t a legitimate excuse for the petition so don’t put that down. The petition is due by tomorrow, Wednesday, August 31st at 4 PM.
Switching FroSci To UWriting And Vice Versa
If you’re a Columbia College student who wants to switch around the order in which you take UWriting and FroSci, you can fill out the required form linked above. You’re required to have a “compelling reason” for your desired switch, but we have absolutely no idea what that means. Maybe something about the gravitational waves which were observed earlier this year? We don’t know what’s compelling to the Core Office (202 Hamilton Hall, directly in front of you when you enter), which is where you’ll drop off your completed form. Like the UWriting section change, this petition is due by tomorrow, Wednesday, August 31st at 4 PM.
Note: SEAS students cannot switch the order in which they are assigned Art of Engineering and UWriting. We’re guessing this makes up for the lack of a swim test.
Tags: bwog helps the freshmen, careful: columbia doesn't update the documents on their academic petition site, FroSci has to keep itself exciting or else nobody would do it, FroSci...lol, how to pass FroSci: take highschool Physics Stats and Bio, shoutout to FroSci though for incorporating the LIGO discoveries, sorry SEAS you're just not as cool as the College, UWriting...lol
The first night where the sum total of the freshmen class was united has passed, but how do you feel? Tired? Homesick? Extremely hungover? Well, there’s no better cure to all of these problems like early morning mandatory academic events. Remember, you suffer through the patronizingly mandatory events of the day to get NSLOPPY at night, so keep trudging on. Remember to send anything of note to email@example.com so we can share your degenerate, Carman (paint) party experiences with the rest of the student body.
Today’s Events Of Interest:
Another Thing To Do Before Graduating: Try every sandwich at either HamDel, Milano, or both. Remember to ask for a loyalty card at HamDel, though. Those free sandwiches are brief monuments to your commitment to eating “Absolutely Fine Food”.
From The Archives: Didn’t know what we meant when we referenced a “paint party” above? Acquaint yourselves with one of the most legendary Carman parties to have ever been thrown. Can you outdo the Carman paint party? Well, you probably shouldn’t.
Tags: ask your RC@C facilitators where to engage in your degenerate activities instead of your dorm—they WILL give you an answer!, carman hall it doesn't get better, keep an eagle eye on the Beta roof this week, RC@C is actually pretty useful, seriously DON'T BE THAT GUY (or girl) WHO ASKS A QUESTION, the last remnant of the Carman paint party was disposed of just this summer, waking up with bwog
NSOP isn’t complete with a handful of pregames being thrown on your floor, and we know that even the worst vodka can be made better with a good playlist. To help you make your pregame the “most lit” in Carman, we bring you two hours of hype music to get you excited to go out after a long day of useless programming. We even offer some comments on a handful of the songs.
Tags: bound 2 hear this song at every orgo night, bwog is the cool upperclassman that interacts with the youths, drinking with bwog, jk we actually need a heights marg poured down our throat rn, mel's gives gendered bathrooms a big ol middle finger, nsop, NSOP 2016, party on a sunday do it all again on monday (THAT WAS FUN!), playlist, smoking trees am i right??, try to stay away from the heights margs, we can't focus on school this semester bc we're more focused on aubrih, you thought you left kid cudi in high school
Welcome to your first full day of NSOP! While the heavy-lifting (literally) of moving in is over for many of you, the more local students still have to haul shit into their rooms. Either way, there is more awkward social interaction to come! (The socializing is worth it if it gives you access to free alcohol later tonight.) Be sure to send the weird/exciting things you see/do to firstname.lastname@example.org for a chance to be featured/mocked on our website.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Get your ass to Brooklyn (or just Lower Manhattan). Use your abundance of free time before classes start to explore the city.
From The Archives: Here are our first Field Notes from last fall. If you’re already tired of Carman parties, you can use our weekly Field Notes series as nightlife guidance. Try not to get CAVA’d this week!
The Disorientation Guide is back for NSOP 2016. Made by student activists, the “zine’s” purpose is to familiarize new students with campus activism and educate them on the various causes and how they can get involved.
You can check out the 2016 guide here. This new version pulls from the 2014 iteration, re-purposing content such as a timeline of Columbia’s “colonialist history” and an explanation of corporate feminism, but also contains updates on the activist groups’ work from the past two years (such as the formation of the Barnard Columbia Solidarity Network, the launch of the Apartheid Divest campaign, and Columbia Divest for Climate Justice’s Low sit-in). There is also a page dedicated to how the Marching Band “does not make Columbia a safe space,” as well as a useful guide on the Administration (with the subtitle “Your guide to who to complain to and who to go to for money”).
On the back cover of the zine, there is a list of upcoming events such as an “Activist Meet and Greet” and a “Civil Disobedience Training”–notably missing is a party at Potluck (probably because they got in trouble for having a guillotine at their Disorientation party in 2014). The students behind the guide will be creating Facebook events for these meet-ups soon.
According to West Side Rag, Deluxe has closed for good. Its furniture was sold in an auction on Tuesday, and the phone rang off the hook when we tried to call today. The 113th St. diner’s closure comes nine months after it briefly shut down in December 2015 before re-opening a few days later due to protest from the MoHi community. Hey, it’s probably difficult to run a diner on the same block as Seinfeld-famous Tom’s (no matter the sogginess of their fries or the drunken rowdiness of their clientele).
First Cannon’s, now Deluxe–which mediocre establishment in the Columbia vicinity will close next? And what bougie business will take Deluxe’s place? Another farm-to-table restaurant? A SoulCycle? One Bwogger hopes that the space will become home to the Columbia Dunkin Donuts that Sweetgreen should have been.
A New England Bwogger can dream via West Side Rag
The summer is coming to an end, and you can no longer pretend that the school year isn’t about to start. Here’s a playlist to stop procrastinating and start packing (unless you’re already at CU for COÖP–have fun putting up with puerile poop jokes and not showering for four days–or as an OL–don’t get CAVA’d!).
Tags: end of summer playlist, isolated-ass claremont, jk we refuse to take another arabic class, mcr, NSOP 2016, packing playlist, s/o to our favorite hungarian pastry goth, s/o to our lovely roommate EGM, we're living on the second floor of our dorm this yr and we're pissed bc that means we can't sneak in an air conditioner bc it would be too obvious, yeah there are pre-orientation programs that aren't coöp but they're weird
If you’re reading this, there’s a pretty good chance you attended NSOP. And if you attended NSOP, you almost definitely hated NSOP. Hating NSOP is, as the class of 2020 will soon discover, an integral part of the Columbia experience, just like parties in Carman doubles and forgetting we have a football team. This year’s orientation, kicking off with move-in this Sunday, will surely be no different.
But just because incoming freshmen will probably hate NSOP doesn’t mean they can’t make the most of their first week on campus by making friends, exploring the city, and acquiring fakes. Bwog is going to help the freshmen out by posting one or two NSOP tips on our Twitter each day.
If you want to contribute some tips (help freshmen get CAVA’d during their second week instead of their first week), send them in to email@example.com! And keep a look out for the posts on Twitter–we’ll be tagging them #BwogDoesNSOP.
An already-crowded campus via 2014 Bwog
Tags: BwogDoesNSOP, move in is only 5 days away!, move in is today if you're doing coöp!, NSOP 2016, send us suggestions of what not to do. help freshmen not repeat your mistakes., the freshmen following us on twitter are already on the right track, the freshmen planning to go to every single activity are not on the right track, we're always this kind
The National Labor Relations Board ruled on Tuesday that graduate students at universities across the country will now be able to unionize. The case involved grad students at Columbia, and overturned a 2004 precedent in a case involving Brown University.
This ruling comes after two years of Columbia graduate students pushing for the right to unionize. A petition of theirs was denied by the NLRB back in February 2015.
According to Politico, Columbia may appeal the board’s decision. The University has yet to release an official statement.
You can read the NLRB’s full ruling here.
Update, 4:47pm: Caroline Adelman, Media Relations Director for CU, gave a statement to the New York Times disagreeing with the ruling. In it she said, “While we are reviewing the ruling, Columbia — along with many of our peer institutions — disagrees with this outcome because we believe the academic relationship students have with faculty members and departments as part of their studies is not the same as between employer and employee.”
Update, 8/24/2016 at 2:25pm: Columbia has released their official statement on the NLRB ruling in an email from the provost. You can read it below:
Written by Amara Banks
Bwog continues its Houses and Homes series with Amara’s family vacation to Hawaii. If you, too, would rather write out the details of your summer surroundings rather than force yourself to engage in conversations about your future, snap a pic and send your five senses to firstname.lastname@example.org!
Where: Maui, Hawaii
Smell: Tourists always smell like SPF 900. Wailea was no exception.
Sound: People saying “mmhmmm” but in different accents. Grandma again asking about my damn major.
Taste: The karma-acid from eating 2 whole pineapples and not sharing
Written by Gowan Moïse
Despite being in the middle of wrapping up his summer legal internship, Arts Editor Gowan Moise took the time to look into the latest legal allegations against our great University.
Last Tuesday, a proposed class action lawsuit naming Columbia University was filed in the New York federal district court. In the complaint, the unnamed plaintiff (“Jane Doe”) accused the university of allegedly overcharging administrative fees for participation in its retirement plan. In addition to this allegation, Doe claims that Columbia improperly managed the investment options and selected poorly performing options over alternative investments, thereby reducing the retirement assets of university employees. These actions by the university allegedly caused participants in the university’s retirement plan to lose hundreds of millions of dollars, leading the beneficiaries to ask the court to judge Columbia liable for $100 million in damages.
The complaint against the university seeks class action status, as it represents a proposed class of 27,000+ participants in Columbia’s retirement plans. The suit claims that the university breached its fiduciary responsibility according to the Employee Retirement Income Security Act by allowing participants in the retirement plan to pay unreasonable fees for administrative and investment services in relation to the retirement plan. Because Columbia also allegedly “selected and retained expensive and poor-performing investment options that consistently and historically underperformed their benchmarks and similar funds,” according to the complaint, “Columbia University caused … plans, and hence participants, to suffer hundreds of millions of dollars of staggering losses to retirement savings.”
Columbia has yet to make any official statement regarding the filed lawsuit. Provided that the summary judgement is not reached in favor of either party, the university will ultimately either address its fiduciary responsibility to participants by either settling with the plaintiffs out of court, or face trial.
In addition to Columbia, eight notable universities have been recently named in similar proposed class action lawsuits relating to retirement plan mismanagement and breach of fiduciary duty. These universities include NYU, Yale, the University of Pennsylvania, and MIT, among others.
For the legal-minded, the initial complaint of the lawsuit filed against Columbia and other related court documents can be accessed online through this site ($5 per document with the 14-day free access trial).
Tags: 'allegedly' is Bwog's new favorite word, alleged corruption, fiduciary irresponsibility up in this, lets hope that this doesn't affect financial aid, summer bwog, that 403(b) status doesn't save you from corruption lmao, the Employee Retirement Income Security Act is an incredibly dull read (but still better than LitHum)
It’s that time of year again…time to reevaluate what “home” means, as you pack up your summer life and head back to MoHi. Where was your home these past few months? Parents’ place? Summer house? Sublet? Tent? Hostel? Wherever it was, we want to know! Bwog is running its annual Houses and Homes series. Send email@example.com a picture of your home. Include where it is, and what it sounds, smells, and tastes like. Add personal flourish! First up is Bwog’s own Sarah Dahl, who spent the summer teaching kids in Hong Kong, and, according to Twitter, living her best life.
Where: ~70 sq foot apartment just inside Hong Kong’s Mongkok district, which is the most crowded place in the world (according to Guinness).
Sound: A/C, my neighbor’s phone convos and drumming, rain, Spotify blasting Mitski, PWR BTTM, or the Marie Antoinette soundtrack.
Smell: Fish or cigarettes, depending what my neighbors are cooking/smoking.
Taste: Soy milk, sushi, peanut butter-covered waffles, discounted Toblerone and Cadbury’s, daily breakfast of cornflakes and blueberries, ramen.
Listen, first-years—we know that you’re beyond excited to start your academic career at the Columbia University. However, one of your first big decisions you will have to make for school is what you will pack and bring to your new and depressing dorm room. We’ve put together our list of college essentials that aren’t listed in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond pamphlet. Enjoy!
Tags: don't forget to pack your vibrator, just don't go to frats, just wait to buy your hunter boots off of buy/sell/trade, life is hard when you only have a mini van to carry all of your shit, no shopping, no you don't need to bring a laptop lock, NSOP 2016, packing list, sippin on DRANK sippin on DRANK, welcome baby columbia students, you should probably just join bwog to fulfill the last tip
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