Housing Reviews 2015: Ruggles Hall
doesn't it look majestic

(the st)Ruggles

Location: 508 West 114th Street

  • Nearby dorms: John Jay, LLC, Carman, Brownstones, Broadway
  • Stores and restaurants: Strokos, Artopolis, JJs, Hamdel, St. Luke’s (important). It’s basically on Amsterdam, but the blocks immediately around it aren’t the most happening.

Cost:

  • $9,470/year (same as Claremont, EC, Hogan, Watt, Woodbridge, SIC’s, and Brownstones. More money than last year.)

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: Two full baths in the 6- and 8- person suites.  One full bath in the 4-person suites. They’re nothing special.
  • AC/Heating: No AC. Heating, but not individually controlled by rooms.
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Killin’. Each suite has a large kitchen with a full fridge, oven, stovetop, and microwave. Loooots of cabinet space. Probably the best communal space in all of the dorms.
  • Laundry: 5 washers and 5 dryers in the basement; not great considering all of the students who live here. The laundry room is in the renovated basement, accessible only via elevator.
  • Computers/Printers: Just one printer in the lobby. No computer lab. Bring a laptop.
  • Gym: 2 ellipticals and 2 treadmills, plus a TV.  The ellipticals go first. Not very large, but also not very used. New as of 2013.
  • Intra-transportation: One elevator, one staircase. Be sure to leave room in your schedule for transit.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Hardwood hallways and rooms.

Room variety:

color coded!

Floor Plan. Color-code represents suites.

  • On each floor:
    • One 4-person all-single suite (on even floors this is the RA suite)
    • One 6-person 2-double/2-single suite
    • Two 8-person suites (either 2-double/4-single or 3-double/2-single).
    • NOTE: The first floor has only one 8-person suite, with 2 doubles, 1 single, and 1 walk-through double. The first floor is weird.
  • Singles in 4-single suites can get as small as 85 square feet, some of the smallest on campus. But 6-person suites have 135 square foot singles, so keep the specific room you’re getting in mind.
  • Doubles don’t have the same variety, all being square and ranging from decent (170 sq. ft.) to good (200 sq. ft.)

What sort of room number do I need?

Bwoglines: Sporty Spice Edition
Sometimes we're all a little Scary Spice

Sometimes we’re all a little Sporty Spice

March Madness is in full swing which means that it’s time for another round of Liewitness News! Which school are you rooting for: University of Phoenix or DeVry University? (Huffington Post)

What scares a New Englander more than Tom Brady jumping off a cliff? Gisele Bündchen posting a Facebook video of Tom Brady jumping off a cliff. (Sports Illustrated)

A Texas high school principal recently forced a student with Down syndrome to stop wearing a varsity Letter jacket simply because “he isn’t on the team.” (USA Today)

The NCAA is really concerned with Indiana’s new “religious freedom law” which allows establishments to deny service to gay and lesbian customers. In case you weren’t aware, the Final Four is in Indianapolis, which is why the NCAA even cares. (CBS Sports)

7/11. 7/11. Seven twice. Man seven twice. As told by Serena Williams. (USA Today)

Sporty spice via Shutterstock

How To: Assert Your Individualism Around Campus
The lake is filled with the tears of the unworthy

The lake is filled with the tears of the unworthy

Navigating the mundanities of campus life can seem like a chore, in no small part because “the mundanities of…life” is more or less the definition of chore. Walking to a class or meal, operating an elevator or staircase, doing laundry—all while preoccupied by the Big Questions we’re meant to be confronting at an institution as illustrious as ours—can grow to be so soul-crushing and automatic that one neither wishes nor needs to be conscious at all.

Thankfully, there are some ways that the enlightened rebels of Columbia University can assert their self-possession even when embarrassed by their circumstances:

Do keep to the left or middle of a walkway, especially around corners. You know who enforces keeping to one side of the road? The policeThe man. Show the world you aren’t afraid.

Don’t march on the right with the neofascist herd.

Do contemplate the depravity of man’s position while sorting out which piece of chicken you want in the dining hall.

Don’t behave as a ravenous beast might, selecting your food with any sense of purpose. There is no purpose—the pigs around you will never understand.

Do take the elevator down from the third floor. Time is, like, a construct, man.

Don’t take the stairs. Ever.

Except: Do up your tweet game on the Ferris staircase. Bonus points for immortalizing the looks of horror on the faces of the plebs behind you with a selfie.

Don’t submit to the lockstep dictates of architects. To create a staircase is to mandate a particular pattern of behavior, to control the bodies of an entire public. Don’t let them get away with it.

Do commandeer a washer for 23 minutes for a single scarf.

Don’t force your neck’s best friend to wallow in the misery of a stain from the foie gras you were eating ironically.

Do fish around in your bag for your ID right in front of the Butler security desk, prompting some to awkwardly reach around you to carry on with their lives.

Don’t plan for the encroachments of the Public Safety state. Act like it’s a surprise that you have to scan into the library and maybe they’ll get the hint that you should be allowed to move through the world unfettered by the shackles of societal identity.

Do hold loud conversations in any hallway, anywhere.

Don’t be silenced by the drones at work in their classrooms, offices, and reading rooms. First Amendment, baby.

Proper brooding via Shutterstock

Bwog Visits Baker: Softball Splits Two With Harvard
we're all hot lbr

We were all wishing for some of this heat

Champion of the sporting life Ross Chapman went to a softball game and lived to tell the tale, sustained only by fevered visions of you, dear reader.

A few squandered offensive opportunities left the Lions low after game one, but a powerful pitching performance by Tessa Kroll helped the Columbia softball team split a cold doubleheader yesterday with the Harvard Crimson.

The Columbia Softball Field (one of the few unnamed fields at Baker) is nestled behind the Columbia Field Hockey Venue and overlooks the Robertson Baseball Field. About 150 people’s worth of bleacher seats sit behind the home dugout, and friends, family, and fans of Harvard and Columbia came out despite the weather for both teams’ Ivy opener. The field is definitely the simplest of all the facilities at Baker – Wi-Fi and restrooms aren’t easily accessible for fans, but the proximity to the players certainly makes up for that. The dugouts were just the right size for the pumped up and often loud teams, and the separation in the middle of the bleachers sufficiently segregated the Crimson faithful from the Columbia fans.

Columbia jumped out to an early lead when Alix Cook chopped an infield single to lead off the first. A sacrifice bunt later, Cook’s sister Kerry ripped a line drive to the gap in right center field to drive in the run and secure the 1-0 score that would hold until the fifth inning. Columbia’s Tonia Wu was strong early, striking out consecutive batters in the second inning and holding Harvard without a strong hit until the fifth. Unfortunately, Harvard’s Laura Ricciardione was even better, retiring 11 straight after Cook’s double.

Stuff heated up in the fifth for both squads. Giana Panariello of the Crimson hit a high fly to right center which bounced off of the outfield wall before finally going over it, just narrowly supplying Harvard with their first run of the game. Columbia had a great chance to break the game open in the next half inning when Taylor Troutt forced an error by the second baseman and Mackensy Lakian, after failing to lay down a sacrifice bunt, pulled a low line drive down the first base line. With that, there were two in scoring position and none out for the 8, 9, and 1 hitters of the Lions. But after Harvard’s third baseman Jillian Leslie made a sliding catch into the dugout to put one out on the board, Ricciardione got the next two hitters to pop up harmlessly.

But could anybody capitalize on the mistakes?

March Madness: Season Of (Unrequited) Love
The evidence.

The evidence.

Clamoring for March Madness coverage? Of course not. You’re Columbia University, and also our mothers. Well, we have some for you anyway, sure to please everyone from the most diehard bracketheads to those who actually attend this school. A Bwog staffer shares her story of love, loss, and basketball brackets. 

The competition is real right now – we may go to a D1 school, but our fellow athletic divisional compatriots are far more concerned with their men in jerseys making it to the top in everyone’s (or no one’s) brackets and hearts. March Madness is real on college campuses, everywhere but here. We manage with dreaming of winning big in some frat’s bracket pool, but what the hell do we know about basketball?

I, too, once asked myself what I knew about basketball, and the immediate answer was that my ex-boyfriend loved it. He was mad about March, I was mad about him, and he put his energy in basketball to distract from a crumbling relationship. And when the competition of promposals once dominated the social scene, I turned to his obsession with the sociology of March Madness: I put a self-made, hand-written March Madness bracket on his locker, with the Final Four letters as the most overplayed high school event in mankind, P-R-O-M.

It was a production of true genius, especially for someone who only made a (real) bracket to prove I was a “cool” girlfriend. Starting with the Round 0f 32, each line where a team would go would be an inside joke, and the prom bracket followed the actual progression of the March Madness 2013 bracket. If my Final Four were to be PROM, Louisville was P, R was Wichita State, O was Syracuse, and M was Michigan (ironically, the school he’d be attending in the fall). Coming up with an inside joke that began with O was harder than most SAT questions that spring. He said yes, and the accolades I received from his senior friends and the 100+ likes on the mandatory mupload made me feel like I’d truly won the game.

We never made it to prom. Exactly week after the big promposal, we broke up. I busted a nut to act like I care only to get dumped and to never go as a junior to senior prom. Shame. I suppose Michigan doubly lost that night.

I sympathize with the 63 teams that lose during this fateful month, as this godforsaken competition brought my first love life to a quick halt. Winning seemed within reach, but one more week in the ranks proved my losing destiny. Dreams of well-liked instragrams crushed, no dead corsage to hang on my bedroom bulletin board to parallel the fading memories of an over-hyped night. Luckily he has the prom bracket poster board somewhere, or else I’d have too much to show for March Madness ruining my sex life. Or maybe he’s thrown it away by now.

Bwoglines: Relics Of A Bygone Era Edition
Same though

Same though

Inexplicably extant smartphone manufacturer BlackBerry (formerly Research In Motion) has announced its lowest quarterly sales in eight years, though it somehow managed to sell 1.6 million handsets over the period. (Financial Times)

Senator Harry Reid has announced that he won’t be seeking a sixth term in 2016, thereby ending what will have been a ten-year stint as Democratic Majority Leader. (Christian Science Monitor)

The now-infamous racist chant shouted by members of the University of Oklahoma SAE fraternity apparently became part of the chapter’s traditions after members learned it at a national SAE leadership event. (Washington Post)

Researchers in California have developed a solution that, when taken as eyedrops, drastically improves night vision for a few hours. The human test subject reported being able to pick out people at 50 meters in near-complete darkness; no word yet on the substance’s long-term effects, if any. (The Independent)

Confirmation of the title via Shutterstock

Official Bacchanal Board Announcement

The Bacchanal Executive Board has released the following official statement with updates to this year’s concert and ticket policy. An addition 2,000 tickets for the lawns will be released in addition an extra 400 Low Plaza tickets. Refunds will be provided for all who bought tickets earlier this month. The full text is included below:

Dear Columbia Undergraduate Students,
We are pleased to announce that with support from campus partners, ABC, and student councils, Bacchanal has decided to refund the cost of previously sold tickets, but not redistribute these tickets. Full refunds, including fees, will be automatic and processed after the concert, in order to keep existing registrations intact within Eventbrite. We are excited to announce that we are able to release 2,000 lawn tickets for both West Field/Butler Lawn, as well as approximately 400 more Low Plaza tickets. We hope this advanced notice will give interested students adequate time to acquire a ticket while availability lasts.

Low Plaza Ticket link: bacchanal2015.eventbrite.com
Lawn Ticket link: Link will be posted on our Facebook event page (link below) on
Monday, March 30th at 3:00 in the afternoon. However, will you not be available to
place an order until 11:00 p.m. on Monday, March 30th
Updates: www.facebook.com/events/1543526082581319/

March 30th, 2015 at 11:00 p.m.- March 31st at 6:59 a.m.
Approximately 200 Low Plaza tickets and 1,000 West Field/Butler Lawn Tickets will be available
On March 31st, 2015 at 7:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Approximately 200 Low Plaza tickets and 1,000 West Field/Butler Lawn Tickets will be available

Please note: One ticket per student. You cannot have both a Low Plaza and West Field/Butler Lawn ticket.

If you sign up for both, we will invalidate the second ticket. If you have already bought a Low Plaza ticket and would like to cancel your ticket, so that it can be made available to other students, you may do so by going into your Eventbrite account and requesting a refund now through 12 noon on Tuesday, March 31st. Please note, your cancellation will not be confirmed until the following business day. If you choose to cancel your Low Plaza ticket, you are not guaranteed a ticket on the West Field/Butler Lawn. All tickets are first come, first-served. Please note, EVERYONE who had previously paid for a $7 ticket will receive refunds automatically the week after the concert. The above cancellation option is only for people who don’t want to be registered at all for a Low Plaza ticket that they previously purchased.

We are excited by these developments and are confident that by continuing to work with campus partners, ABC, and student councils, we can move forward and put on an incredible show in eight days. Thank you for your patience and support!

The Bacchanal Executive Board

CCSC, ABC, SGA Approve Funds For Additional Bacchanal Lawn Tickets

This afternoon, CCSC released a press release stating the council would pay up to $11,164 for 2,000 additional students to attend Bacchanal on top of the original ticket sales earlier this month. This payment would also open the West Lawn and the Butler Lawn to allow for students to stand during the concert. The 2,000 lawn tickets will be distributed for free to students. Last night, ESC also approved their own funds to help pay for the additional tickets.

In addition to the decision to open the lawns, CCSC voted against paying for the refund of the tickets already sold to students as the council found it “fiscally irresponsible.” The other councils, including SGA and ESC, will pay for the refund with the addition of a loan from ABC. Nonetheless, all students who paid for a ticket will be refunded, and they will have the option to keep their ticket or release their ticket for a lawn ticket.

Update, 6:10 pm: ABC has released a statement explaining they will not require Bacchanal to redistribute tickets. Further, ABC will front the Bacchanal committee’s debt incurred this Spring. In exchange for the funds, ABC requires Bacchanal to immediately begin paying off any debt exceeding $30,000 next year. ABC will allow for Bacchanal to pay off the $30,000 over the course of five years. The statement also requires increased communication between ABC and Bacchanal in the future.

Update, March 28, 3:20 pm: Barnard SGA has also voted to contribute funds to the additional security funds and the opening of the lawns, and they released a statement this afternoon detailing their position on this year’s Bacchanal.  They will provide a total of $12,885.65, in ratio with the funds provided by the other student councils. You can read their full statement after the jump.

Read the councils’ statements below the jump.

Conspiracy Theory: Ba-curse-anal Edition
Spooooky conspiracy theories

Spooooky conspiracy theories

A week out from Bacchanal and the troubles continue to mount. Every day, new reports come in on our site and others, statements are issued by student government bodies you have never heard of, confusions are placed on top of confusions are placed on well-intentioned bureaucratic nightmares. And now, rain in the forecast.

Surely, this mess can’t have it’s roots in Columbia itself. We are after all, the bright young leaders of tomorrow (!), as brilliant as we are willing to move beyond our personal biases into a place of compromise, overseen by an administration revered for its effectiveness and extraordinary compassion for the students it serves. 

At least, we all can be, providing we find just the right thing to blame. For our collective reputations, for our sense of worth and righteousness, for our well placed and quite vehement anger, we at Bwog offer you a number of scapegoats to choose from: 

  • As in the seminal Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Lifean angel  has interfered with the course of human history to prevent a terrible future. Three years ago, Billy Freichner was shown what would unfold should he cancel his Furnald party: Furnald would remain a silent, lifeless husk, never assuming its place as the premier party dorm; no less than six ill-conceived distance relationships would remain unbroken, triggering an escalating plague of sexual frustration; and the Columbia social scene would collapse almost entirely, eventually resulting in a highly politicized and poorly orchestrated Bacchanal. Freichner returned to his time and prevented this awful course of events, his party going down in Columbia legend, but we, we are forever trapped in the other timeline, doomed to serve forever as a paving stone for his better world.
  • On a night of thunder and wind, a witch, acting according to the evil compulsions of Satan, turned her magic to where it might do the greatest harm and brought a page of the Bwog comment section to walking, talking, horrible life. Irritable and unimpressed, Mr. Section’s first action was to take an obscure position in student government, where he halts progress to this day.
  • As it turns out, God is a fan of high grossing films of the late 90s. As you read this, Ben Kornick is realizing that somehow, Bacchanal is still somehow short exactly $15,000. As he wonders where he can find that kind of money, a nearby television is announcing the entry deadline of the NYC musical hockey tournament, with a grand prize of exactly $15,000. Can Ben, his ragtag group of Bacchanal committee members, their Juilliard trained pet cocker spaniel, and new transfer Vince Vaughn win the contest and save Bacchanal???
  • Up until last month, Bacchanal was running smoothly. But smoothly doesn’t sell online ad space. Following in the footsteps of Hearst, the Spec’s Michael Ouimette launched a devastating but subtle yellow journalism campaign designed to stir up controversy and page views. Today Bacchanal, tomorrow Cuba.
  • Bacchanal has always been secretly funded by a small but powerful cult as part of an elaborate occult ritual requiring pulsating music, the sweat of the young, human sacrifice, and marijuana smoke. Intended to give the damned souls of the long gone asylum purchase over the grounds they once walked, the ritual was canceled this year. The asylum ghosts don’t want to walk here any more. They find us depressing.
  • The Bacchanal fiasco is your brain‘s way of telling you that this, all of this isn’t quite right. None of this is real. You were hit by a falling air conditioner in September and have been in a coma since. That’s why you’re so unhappy. It’s time to wake up, dear. We all miss you terribly. Can you hear me? YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP. PLEASE. WE LOVE YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP.
  • Spring Bacchanal was originally canceled along with Fall Bacchanal. CCSC President Peter Bailinson tried to save it by wishing upon a mysterious monkey paw he bought from that one guy who sells books outside of Tom’s.
  • There never was a Bacchanal. “Bacchanal” was the only successful element of the now long dead #OurBlue campaign, an attempt to inspire the student body with false memories of a happy community.
  • PrezBo’s wig got caught in the machinery lurking below… No. We can’t do this any more. President Bollinger we’re just acting out because we want your attention. You’re our president. Where are you? Why don’t you love us anymore? Did you ever love us?
  • All I can tell you: Henry Kissinger, a soufflé contest, and the lost colony of Roanoke.
  • Columbia’s squirrel population, a highly intelligent and vicious breed, are secretly sabotaging Bacchanal, along with your grades, and your love life, all to send a message to Bwog staffers, who have been lax in providing them with publicity and fresh first-year blood.

Spoooky atmosphere via Shutterstock

Quiz: Which Columbia Sports Team Are You?

Bwoglines: People Talk About Columbia Sometimes Edition
From the comment section, we surmise this is the typical reaction to receiving news from Bwog

Poor man. Subjected to news about Columbia University.

Professor Mercer talks about Columbia when comparing the experience teaching here and teaching in prison. (Washington Post)

Former N.B.A. player Troy Murphy talks about Columbia in describing what it’s like to go back to school here. (New York Times)

Forbes talks about Columbia when they evaluate the significance of the recent administrative decision to close the Chinese Students and Scholars Association.

President Obama and visiting Afghani President Ghani talk about Columbia as they briefly recall their time here for the benefit of watching press corp. (USA Today)

Everyone, it seems, is talking about Columbia as they anticipate the release of the Journalism School’s report on the now infamous Rolling Stone UVA exposé attempt. Look for that coming soon. (CNN Money)

Delightfully disturbed gossip, via Shutterstock

Student Council Responses To Bacchanal Proposal

The Spectator reported on a proposal sent to the Undergraduate Student Councils this morning. ESC has just released an official response approving the proposal and funding a subsidy to help with the costs of opening the lawns and hiring safety personnel. The full text of the ESC proposal is included below. Post will be updated with additional Student Council Responses if and when they are released.

Regarding the Engineering Student Council Vote on the March 26th Bacchanal Proposal

Over the past several months, the Bacchanal Committee has worked to put together the spring concert on April 4th. As students on campus are well aware, the Bacchanal Committee chose to charge for tickets to attend this event. Combined with the event capacity of 4,000 persons, this decision has caused a large subset of the student body to feel that they have been unfairly shut out of a campus-­wide event.

Through a series of discussions with Student Engagement, Facilities, Public Safety, and other administrative parties, representatives from all four councils and the Activities Board at Columbia have worked with the Bacchanal Committee to make the event more open and accessible to students on campus.

The most recent proposal, finalized early in the morning on March 26th, involves opening the West Lawn and the Butler Lawn for an additional 2,000 tickets. Along with the roughly 300 tickets remaining from the main audience area, this allows up to 6,000 students to attend Bacchanal. We consider this to be a significant improvement over the status quo. Current ticket holders will be refunded, and will also have the option to release their ticket and attempt to get a lawn ticket. It is not currently expected that students will be able to hold both a standard and a lawn ticket.

However, this plan is expensive. Our current estimates are that the total cost of the Bacchanal event to the student body will be approximately $160,000, which represents 151% of the allocation that Bacchanal received from the Activities Board at Columbia. In particular, it constitutes an additional council subsidy of $54,000 over the original allocation.
After a general body vote, ESC has decided to fund this subsidy with a vote of (21 for, 3 against, 6 abstain) in ratio. This works out to $8,248.84 from the SEAS student body, or $5.20 per student.

This decision does not constitute an official ESC endorsement of the circumstances that have necessitated this subsidy, nor does it imply that ESC will be willing to continue funding Bacchanal at the same level in the future. We do not take this decision lightly, and we feel that it is the option that best benefits the undergraduate engineering population at Columbia.

If you have any questions or concerns, please reach out to the executive board via email at esc@columbia.edu.

Best regards,
Engineering Student Council

Take A Breather With Arianna Huffington
huffington

Queen Arianna

Is it better to stay up all night studying for an exam or to go to bed early? Arianna Huffington has made the executive call that sleep should be your priority. Maddie Stearn, after getting a whole night of sleep, reported Huffington’s reasoning. 

On Monday evening Arianna Huffington took the stage at an event sponsored by the Columbia Organization of Rising Entrepreneurs (CORE). Even while battling a cold Huffington is a dynamic speaker, hitting her stride only a few words into her keynote address. She assured the audience that her accent “is for real” and proceeded to turn out sound bites like a machine. A highly successful, health-conscious machine.

This health-consciousness is perhaps what sets Huffington apart from other entrepreneurs. In 2007 Huffington collapsed from exhaustion and woke up bleeding and with a broken cheekbone. At that point she decided to make sleep a priority in her life and launched the “Sleep” section on the Huffington Post. Today it is easy to take for granted the pervasiveness of sleep studies and articles, but that was not necessarily the case 8 years ago. Arianna Huffington launched the “Sleep” section of the Huffington Post website at a time when, in her opinion, sleep was held in high contempt. Now, however, sleep articles abound and it seems like you can’t go a day without seeing an article that claims, “New Study: Napping Improves Sex Life.” On that note, Huffington did say that if you want to write about how sleep improves your sex life, then you should go ahead and send it to her.

According to Huffington, entrepreneurs seem to be especially guilty of not prioritizing sleep. During the interview portion of the event–conducted by Kathryn Minshew, co-founder and CEO of The Muse–Huffington spoke to the stress that entrepreneurs tend to put on themselves. While recognizing the pressures facing entrepreneurs, Huffington stated that, “our best ideas are not going to come during stressful times.” She provided Archimedes and Newton as examples, while acknowledging that the locations in which both men had their epiphanies (bathtub and apple tree respectively) are perhaps caricatures of her argument.

More on sleep after the jump.

Cool Jams For Cold Days: Worst Part Of The Semester Edition
The universe to you right now.

The universe to you right now.

Spring break’s over. It’s somehow still cold. You’ve just flunked three consecutive midterms. Zayn left One Direction. We get it; March sucks. Here, our resident music aficionado and features editor Tatini Mal-Sarkar brings you precisely one hour’s worth of angry, angsty music to get you through these really terrible days.

1. Suffocation — Crystal Castles

You feel like you’re drowning too, don’t you? It’s the damn rain.

2. Violent Dreams — Crystal Castles

Don’t lie, you’ve had them too.

3. Let Me Break — You Love Her Coz She’s Dead

The title, the artist… Feel free to shake dramatically as you cry to this song.

4. Zero Life — Kap Bambino

You, for the rest of the semester.

5. Things That Are Bad For Me (Part 1) — Colleen Green

“Gotta stop doing things that are bad for me…” O K

6. I’m Not Okay (I Promise) — My Chemical Romance

Screw it. Who needs dignity?

7. The Boredom Is The Reason I Started Swimming. It’s Also The Reason I Started Sinking — The Front Bottoms

Again, screw it.

8. The Crying Game — Nicki Minaj

Is that what they call this, Nicki???

9. Bitch Theme — Bratmobile

This is the part where you alienate anyone who’s ever loved you, ever.

10. The New Year — Death Cab For Cutie

Hahahahaha, you thought this year would be different. Hahahahaha.

11. Cool Schmool — Bratmobile

You don’t need academics for a future. Screw academia. It’s just a massive circle jerk anyway.

12. Now I’m All Messed Up — Tegan and Sara

Don’t worry, Quin sisters, we’re right there with you.

13. Spaces — One Direction

Even Zayn grew up. Why can’t you???

14. So Appalled — Kanye, Jay-Z, everyone

“One hand in the air, if you don’t really care, middle finger in the air, if you don’t really care…”

15. No Role Modelz — J. Cole

Is there even anything/anyone we’re aspiring to??? What is the meaning of life??? Where are we even going???

16. Marilyn Monroe — Nicki Minaj

“It’s like all the good things, they fall apart.” Preach, babe.

Don’t worry, even Spotify hates you, probably

Reminder: Pass/Fail Deadline Is Today
to pass/fail or not to pass/fail

to pass/fail or not to pass/fail

If you didn’t do so hot on your midterm and are looking to not damage you GPA any further, think about taking the pass/fail option. Although, think about it fast because today is the deadline to declare P/D/F for CC, BC, GS, and SEAS! It might relieve some stress knowing an A and a C are considered the same…

Stressin via Shutterstock