Feb

17

What’s Playing Nearby

Written by

In which staffer Mark Krotov gives movie suggestions for those who fear to venture off the 1, 2, and 3 lines.

AMC Loews 84th Street 6
84th and Broadway

Date Movie
Screenwriter: It’s like Scary Movie, for romantic comedies! Get it?
Movie studio executive: Yes.
Screenwriter: Get it?
Movie studio executive: Go ahead and get started on a sequel.

Big Momma’s House 2
Because you can always have a bigger momma.

When a Stranger Calls
The Babysitters Club is all over this one.


Also Playing
Curious George
Final Destination 3
Hoodwinked
Something New

Lincoln Plaza Cinemas

Broadway between 62nd and 63rd

Cache (Hidden)
Remember the Paris riots? This film vaguely predicted them. Sort of.

The Squid and the Whale
Park Slope, a beautiful house, and a whimsical approach to semen. No, not the new Jonathan Safran Foer novel.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
Recovering from the movie about the cheerleaders, Tommy Lee Jones directs a western about illegal immigration. Cheerleaders not included.

Also Playing
Capote
Mrs. Henderson Presents
Why We Fight

AMC Loews Lincoln Square 12

68th and Broadway

Brokeback Mountain
A nominee for Best Picture that everyone, including late-night talk show hosts, takes very seriously.

Eight Below
Paul Walker, Jason Biggs, and some sled dogs star in a misguided, Antarctic-themed sequel to Brokeback Mountain.

Freedomland
An astute analysis of American racism, from the director of Revenge of the Nerds II and Christmas With the Kranks.

Good Night, and Good Luck
The last words you hear out of Dick Cheney’s mouth, before he shoots your ass.

Munich
See it for the moral ambiguity. Stay for the most awkward sex scene since that other guy from Mötley Crüe released a home video.

Match Point
Woody Allen – characterization – solid dialogue – astute psychological insight + Scarlett Johansson’s hotness = critical favorite!

Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story
You know how they say that all independent movies have depressed gay cowboys eating pudding? This one has none of those things.

Also Playing:
Firewall
Glory Road
The Matador
Nanny McPhee
The Pink Panther
Roving Mars
Syriana
Walk the Line

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9 Comments

  1. Beth

    Let's talk about sex scenes that will make your skin crawl: . Kid Rock and the lead singer from Creed (+some women). I kid you know. It made me throw up a little in my mouth.

  2. mark

    after seeing that, i'm even sorrier that creed broke up.

  3. IMD

    Did you read that Rolling Stone expose on the Creed lead singer's "breakdown?" It's out of control.

  4. A. Flynn

    Woody Allen – characterization – solid dialogue – astute psychological insight = Mark Krotov

  5. mark

    yeah but at least i don't sleep with women fifty years younger than me...yet.

  6. moph

    what's wrong with sleeping with -30 year old women?

  7. sam

    mark, i will eat your children

    next time let me write this

    seriously, here's a sample:

    ULTRAVIOLET: MORE LIKE ULPOOPVIOPOOP



    EBERT, WATCH OUT

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