What’s Playing Nearby
Written by Bwog Staff
In which staffer Mark Krotov gives movie suggestions for those who fear to venture off the 1, 2, and 3 lines.
84th and Broadway
If what you’ve always wanted is a film starring David Spade, Rob Schneider, and Napoleon Dynamite’s Jon Heder, then this is the film for you. Afterwards, you can reach Columbia’s counseling services at 212 854 2284.
Sometimes, a film’s title tells you everything that you need to know about a film; for example, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector.
According to the major critics, A-Town manages to hold it down for at least two thirds of this film.
V for Vendetta
This film has demonstrated that in a box office crowded with too many gems, dystopian epics can still hold their own.
The Shaggy Dog
Broadway between 62nd and 63rd
The Beauty Academy of Kabul
Heart-warming and uplifting, just like the invasion of Afghanistan.
Don’t Come Knocking
Because of his success with this road movie, legendary director Wim Wenders will next direct Euro Trip 2: Screwing Eastern Europe.
Natalie Portman is awfully political these days, with V and this new film about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Doesn’t she know that she’s supposed to shut up and look pretty? Or at least bald?
The Child (L’Enfant)
68th and Broadway
Lucky Number Slevin
Starring Josh Hartnett and Bruce Willis, this gangster film is a tale of a man who was born to have his last name become a bad pun in a Hollywood movie.
Take the Lead
Is there anything worth saying? Antonio Banderas, troubled teens, and lotsof dancing. If you’re not interested after that description, then what kind of man are you?
Friends with Money
If the guys that produced Lucky Number Slevin had produced this film, it would have been called Friends with Monkey, and would have revolved around Jennifer Aniston, Catherine Keener, and Joan Cusack bonding over their purchase of a cute primate.
Basic Instinct 2
This is too easy.
Please go see it. Spike Lee and Denzel Washington create a truly great movie that manages to be a simple heist film and not at all a simple heist film. Plus, social commentary!
She’s the Man
Nickelodeon’s Amanda Bynes tells Shakespeare like it is. That is, with tweens.
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Thank You For Smoking
V for Vendetta: The IMAX Experience
Failure to Launch
Deep Sea 3D