What’s Playing Nearby
Written by Bwog Staff
In which staffer Mark Krotov gives movie suggestions for those who fear to venture off the 1, 2, and 3 lines.
84th and Broadway
Remember how Robin Williams was really annoying in the confines of a hospital? Now imagine him trapped in an RV. Features hilarious sewage fountains.
Dear producers of Stick It,
Thank you for making my life easier. I thought I would have to struggle to come up with something mildly amusing, but a movie that features rebellious teen gymnasts, team spirit, and Jeff Bridges writes its own punchilne.
A political thriller starring Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland.
Film description by Janice Min, C ’90, editor-in-chief of US Weekly:
Finally! Desperate Housewives‘ Eva Longoria stars in a political thriller! Co-starring some guy named Kiefer Sutherland and some other guy named Michael Dougl…wait, what? Eva Longoria had plastic surgery? And Teri Hatcher made out with Ryan Seacrest? Scrap the Britney cover!
Broadway between 62nd and 63rd
In the Mood for Love‘s Maggie Cheung and 48 Hrs.‘ Nick Nolte in a movie directed by Cheung’s ex-husband? Count me in.
The Notorious Bettie Page
Every once in awhile, one gets the opportunity to be a fan of both indie films and gratuitous female nudity. Plus, this movie is far more socially acceptable (and tolerable) than seeing Basic Instinct 2.
And if you want to feel very guilty for watching female nudity, watch this Australian film about a promiscuous 16-year-old who has to spend the night with strange men to survive.
Three great Taiwanese films for the price of one!
68th and Broadway
Akeelah and the Bee
A film about a girl from South Central L.A. who wants to make it to the spelling bee. The movie is being promoted by Starbucks (though there are no Macchiato references in the film), which seems like a pretty smart promotional strategy for a multinational corporation, especially in light of Exxon’s problematic “we just made $8.4 billion in 3 months” advertising campaign.
Unexpectedly, the man to make Simon Cowell seem even more loathsome is none other than Hugh Grant, who is fantastic in this parody of:
A) The Bush administration
B) American Idol
Yes, the director of American Pie has moved on from the screwing of pies to the screwing of the American people.
If you haven’t seen it yet, you have not seen the most entertaining movie of the year. More importantly, you have not seen the awesomeness of Denzel Washington’s fedora.