Sharp-eared tipsters relayed these juicy conversational fragments:

Overheard during the Varsity Show intermission in reference to the orphan fundraiser thing:
Guy: You stole from an orphanage?!
Transvestite (or so we think): I didn’t know it was an orphanage! I didn’t even know orphans existed! I thought they were one of those made-up things!

Overheard before lecture yesterday:
Girl: Columbia students are so awkward, the worst thing that could happen is that someone sits down next to them.

At last night’s Nonsequitur concert, two seniors were honored for their contribution to the group. The salute to Alex Stevens was particularly heartfelt:
“Without you, we would be disorganized, socially awkward, sexist tools.”