Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

Senior Wisdom: Greta Gerwig

This is the seventh post in the senior wisdom series. Read the rest here.

Greta Gerwig, B ‘06
Claims to fame: Tea Party improvisatory comedy, Varsity Show 111, writin’ plays.

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

I’m a douche-bag if I say I go to Columbia. You can work the myth of Sisyphus into any paper. There’s enough room for two improv groups at this school: Tea Party and Klaritin.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

Getting cast as the star of Varsity Show, starring in Varsity Show, being recognized for starring in Varsity Show. Varsity Varsity Varsity.

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

Telling my professor that I couldn’t turn in my paper on time because I had fallen in love.

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

The two people who had sex on top of Low causing Lerner Pub to be taken away. I know who they are.

Which Prof do you think would be the best kisser?

James Shapiro. Firm but tender.

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

I think a better question is “what percentage of seniors have had sex with only one person?” I would say a lot.

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

Don’t ever put those things in the same sentence…cheese.

Days on Campus memory?

The minute I figured out I did not, in fact, have to go to any of the activities.

Regrets?

CAVAing myself. If I was sober enough to look up their number and dial the
phone, I probably didn’t need their services.

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

7 Comments

  • Stupid Bwog says:

    @Stupid Bwog I think when she mentions the myth of Sisyphus she’s not referring to the actual myth but to the tremendously awesome essay by Camus, “The Myth of Sisyphus.” So, yeah, punctuate things correctly. Or read a book. Whichever.

  • lerner pub says:

    @lerner pub I thank Lerner Pub for giving me the opportunity to get drunk and hook up with every girl I’ve had a crush on over the past 4 years. I feel like I’ve accomplished so much at this school because of the pub.

  • lerner pub says:

    @lerner pub lerner pub is a ‘weekly’ free beer event for seniors.

  • lerner pub says:

    @lerner pub what was lerner pub?

  • lerner pub says:

    @lerner pub what happened to lerner pub? People had sex on top of low? do tell!

  • M.R. says:

    @M.R. Haha, only 2 Improv groups on Campus? Fruit Paunch gets Burrrrrned!

  • wow says:

    @wow your answer to the sex question was the most profound yet. and i too share the experience of cavaing myself.

  • Ad

    Have Your Say

    What should Bwog's new tagline be?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    the article literally explains the situation i dont understand why people are tripping so hard in the comments (read more)
    Spec Editors Halt Publication, Allegedly Over Lack Of Staff Constitution
    October 1, 2020
    The virus isn't deadly for college-aged kids. Well that's not true. It's deadly less than .005% of the time with (read more)
    Steps To Keeping And Maintaining Friends On Campus In the Middle Of A Pandemic
    October 1, 2020
    "Because of fire management techniques that were imported from Europe during the colonial era, forests in North America are now (read more)
    Understanding The Causes And Implications Of Wildfires On The West Coast: A Lecture On Climate Crisis
    October 1, 2020

    Comment Policy

    The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
    • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
    • Hate speech
    • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
    • Personal information about an individual
    • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
    • Spam or self-promotion
    • Copyright infringement
    • Libel
    • COVID-19 misinformation