One hundred tubas

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One hundred tuba players spotted at the quay by the World Financial Center.

“We all just kind of showed up here,” one member of the 100Tubatet said.

The tuba players wandered around the outdoor space in tight groups, buzzing their lips amidst hundreds of confused whispers and clicking camera shutters.

Eclectic composer Anthony Braxton, (below, with scepter), conducted the brass assembly in what sounded like an hour-long in-stereo fog horn.

Braxton’s “Composition No. 19 for 100 tubas” was interpreted by some as an homage to the tuba player; consistantly relegated to the back of the orchestra, or burdening under a cage of brass at many a football game.

As the hour vibrated by, groups of tuba players erupted in what seemed uncontrolled sound emission that can only be compared to sneezing or flatulence. Tubas squeaked, hummed, and popped as players rapidly fingered, rubbed the body of or smacked the mouthpieces of their tubas.

Bwog wonders if tuba players make tender lovers.



  1. actually

    yes they do. tender tender lovers

    • a former girlfriend  

      players of brass instruments end up being amazing lovers. their lips are strong and their fingers deft; they know how to pay attention to another body rather than on their own pleasure; they don't mind odd sounds coming out; and they take all the time you need.

  2. i don't know

    looks like a gathering of virgins

  3. questionable tubas

    aren't most of those tubas, euphoniums? Sure they are similar, but in the end they are different.

  4. hmm  

    tuba or not tuba. that is the question.

  5. tipster  

    bwog, what are all the tents doing between low and butler? also, suggestion: a piece on all the non-cu affiliated students staying at cu this summer?

  6. well

    now that i look some are even sousahpones. so there aren't really 100 tubas.

    • Yeah  

      well you only get so much range in a tuba, so I'd imagine that if you were Mr. Braxton you'd have to loosen the requirements a bit to include related instruments with different / ranges tones. It's not exactly Branca, but it's still pretty cool

  7. Take a cue from [email protected]

    Shut down for the summer, this shit is lame.

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