Jul

6

The 110 Street Chainsaw Massacre

Written by

Bwog is inclined to giggle at the absurdity of this one, but then wants to break down in tears.

A disgruntled man took a chainsaw to a postal worker on the platform of the 110th street subway station this morning. Two chainsaws, actually. The victim told the Associated Press, “He just kept stabbing me and stabbing me and stabbing me.”

A suspect has been apprehended for the crime — he gave himself away when he randomly punched someone in the neighborhood two hours later.

This comes only a few weeks after the random stabbings of four people by a homeless man in or around subway cars and stations.

Update: Spec has an account of the attack which involves arm pumping.

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26 Comments

  1. hilarious  

    if only it weren't so scary and close to home. things like this are only funny when it happens to people we don't know or care about, like texans.

  2. yeah

    or lame ass san francisco residents

  3. ...wow

    disgruntled doesn't quite seem to fit the emotional state of a man with cordless chainsaws...



    New York City, you never know what'll happen to you on the 1 line.

  4. quiqui

    This really isn't a funny story at all. You guys are dicks.

  5. bad person

    it's only funny because he had a teddy bear.

  6. CJ

    I honestly thought this was one big Grand Theft Auto parody until I clicked the external link.

  7. teehee

    haha, hehe, it's a quirky news story about a chainsaw massacre in...oh, shit, that's a subway station we all use. and it's violent crime! time to wake up and stop being so flippant about everything, you think?

    • uhh

      wake up how? should the post have said: WATCH OUT FOR CRAZY GUYS WITH CHAINSAWS. NEVER LET DOWN YOUR GUARD & LIVE YOUR LIFE IN CONSTANT FEAR. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. it was an isolated incident. this is new york. shit happens like this all the time--part of the rollercoaster of city life.

  8. Um  

    Not gonna lie, this is not remotely funny. All of us have been in that station at that time of night. That shit is scary.

  9. Texas

    ain't got nothin on NY-fucking-C!

  10. Stephen

    you guys do know what a power saw looks like right?

  11. joe

    interesting side note: the contractors were busy installing screens that will show how where the train is and how long until it arrives. so at least you'll know how many minutes you'll have left until you get stabbed...

  12. yeah

    a chainsaw is a little misleading, but still a handheld power saw can definitely cut through a person's flesh..and if applied w/enough pressure probably through bone too..



    scary business

  13. asshole  

    It's interesting the victim's main gripe is that no one helped him, because, you know, everyone should have the decency to run and confront the crazy man wielding a power saw in each hand.



    Also, odd that he's a postal worker. Guess his M16 must have jammed or something.

    • your title is obviously self referential

      he complained because nobody had the decency to help him after he got nearly cut in half. i'm not surprised either..i'd put 2-1 odds that most people on the subway wouldn't stop to help a guy who got stabbed..they might call the police

      • Sort of like the

        Kitty Genovese murder or something like that, isn't it? A woman stabbed in Manhattan with dozens of witnesses who could hear her screaming?



        Jesus probably wouldn't be riding the subway at 3:30 AM, but y'never know I guess. I wouldn't expect a power saw wielding guy with a teddy bear to be riding the 1 at that time either.

  14. is it my duty  

    to fight off a raving lunatic? what would jesus do?

  15. mofo

    sadly, that teddy bear is for practice.

  16. prince Akeem of Zmunda, son of Jafee Jafaar  

    imagine a country so free you can bring chainsaws onto the subway

  17. SullyAg

    If the perp were a Texan, he'd have been wearing a hockey mask. We're very safety conscious, especially when we're hacking up Yankees (it's something of a national sport down here in the Lone Star State).

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