Shh! It’s Gossip.
Written by Bwog Staff
Really. Last time Bwog posted gossip, a tipster’s professor singled him out in class; he was very flustered.
A stressed-out student declared,
“This year I will either die or become a Campus
Professor Eric Foner, commenting on how the Immigration and Naturalization Service’s U.S. citizenship test accepts two answers to the question of what caused the Civil War:
“The INS is a postmodern institution. Don’t tell them, ’cause they won’t know what that means.”
Professor Melnick testified today that the room in Pupin in which Thomas Hunt Morgan discovered the chromosomal theory of heredity has now been divided and remodeled into a janitor’s closet and a men’s bathroom.
Professor Macalaster Bell (teacher of the philosophy of art) quipped today that,
“Philosophers in general have a contempt for PowerPoint.”
Bwog isn’t sure how that was intended.
A tipster was sitting in class yesterday when a girl walking by went into the room next door, apparently to attend her Music Humanities class. He overheard the following dialogue:
Studentï¿½ Hey Professor… … I’m not sure how to pronounce your name?
Additionally, a friend of the Bwog discovered this evening that the Butler Book Nazi is once again installed behind the Circulation Desk. She was unsure whether he was new or a last-ditch substitute circulation specialist, but what she was sure of is that he was incapable of vocalizing, preferring instead to use grunts and gestures that looked as if What, come here? Oh. Oh, so you want my ID, Ok. Upon scanning her three books and her Columbia card, the Butler Book Nazi shoved them back at her and threw up his hands in the air as if disgusted with the whole situation. She told us to beware: he is old, Asian, and fitted out in gardening gloves.
Bwog is worried, but only because Bwog remembers when he used to wear powdered rubber sanitary gloves and treat our many fine books with the utmost care.