Personals: Native New Yorker Edition

Written by

It’s that time of the week again: almost Friday, and no one to take to the prom. Never fear! Bwog Personals presents you with the equally stunning Amanda and Orlando. If either of these two strikes your fancy, email [email protected] and let us know. If it’s a match, we’ll spring $5 for a date. Coffee, pastries at Café 212—it’s your choice, and a probably guaranteed good time! And remember: if you or anyone you know would like to be a personal, let us know. We’re forever accepting nominations.

   Girl for Guy 
  Guy for Guy

Name: Amanda Lynn Hernandez

School: Columbia College

Year: 2008

Major: Neuroscience and Behavior

Hometown: New York City- Upper West Side

Top three songs according to iTunes’ play count:

1) Ain’t No Other Man- Christina Aguilera

2) Hmm Hmm- Beanie Man

3) My Love- Justin Timberlake ft. TI

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

1) Chunky All Natural Peanut Butter

2) Bear Naked Fruit and Nut Granola

3) Soft Baked Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

Boy short PINK undies from Victoria’s Secret.  They’re striped in different shades of rainbow-like pink with bright pink lace at the leg and waist…

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?

In my room working on organic chemistry. Or, if it’s pretty, outside on the steps smoking hookah.

Nightmare date in three words or less:

Talks too much.

So, what are you doing after college?

Taking a year off to go to South America/Central America (probably Costa Rica) to work with Doctor’s Without Borders, during which I will be in the middle of the medical school application process. I will be entering medical school in Fall of 2009.

When I first came to Columbia , I thought…

This place is absolutely gorgeous. It’s for me…it’s either Columbia or I’m not going to college! (I spent afternoons on campus when I was little playing soccer.)

TCBY or Tasti D-Lite?

Definitely Tasti D.

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?


Unusual talents?

I can roll my tongue… I guess?

MySpace or Facebook?

Facebook! (even though it’s gotten way too stalkerish)

Amanda! You’re the one for me!


Name: Orlando Ruben Rodriguez

School: Columbia College, Columbia University

Year: 2009

Major: Political Science/ International Affairs

Hometown: Bronx, NY

Top three songs according to iTunes’ play count:

Hide & Seek by Imogen Heap, Breakout by Sean Paul, and Morro Bay by Tim Janis.

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

Sushi, Health Nut bread, Peanut Butter & Jelly (the mixed kind).

Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

I’m definitely a boxer brief fan. It provides excellent support and I like to buy ones with nice colors and cool designs.

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?


Nightmare date in three words or less:

Fat, Conceited, Lisp

So, what are you doing after college?

Intern for a year and then apply to grad school for a dual degree in international affairs and law.

When I first came to Columbia, I thought…

Omg, dork central!!!

TCBY or Tasti D-Lite?


Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?


Unusual talents?

I’m weirdly flexible and I’m double jointed all over!!!

MySpace or Facebook?

Oh definitely Facebook. I loathe MySpace!!!!



  1. amanda  

    is cute. Too bad we have nothing in common cept for the soccer thing.

  2. hey bwog  

    how many people typically respond to these? how do you choose which one wins the date???

  3. if bwog  

    keeps censoring my slightly mean comments, i'll have to abandon my loyalty. there isn't anything censorable about saying that this post should be "2 girls for guys".

    • sak  

      Well, it's still pretty damn offensive. And pretty unhilarious.

      And even while you think it was funny, you can't ignore human nature, which is to naturally be offended if someone is rude to him/her. Everyone wants to believe they are totally not self-conscious, but everyone still seeks acceptance. You do too by trying to be funny, but just coming off as an asshole. You want other people to think you're funny and post "haha" or something stupid to give you some kind of satisfaction (which is also why you're saying it again...if it didn't matter to you what other people thought, you would just get a chuckle yourself about a stupid joke). But you didn't take into account other people's feelings before you said it, which is a pretty important thing to do. And now you're trying to prove something to bwog by restating what you said and that you'll "abandon your loyalty", still not taking into account the people you talk about.

      Plenty of people will still read Bwog without you, I promise. And even though you restated it, your joke still isn't funny.

    • John  

      You would think people would realise they've gone too far after being reprimanded once. It's a shame this had to happen twice in one thread, especially when you acknowledge your meanness.

      Furthermore, gender is defined by physiology rather than portions of psychology, much the same as age. A petty man is no boy, regardless of his immaturity. You're being responded to at length, "if bwog," because we think we can speak to you as peers. Prove it.

    • outraged  

      i am appalled by such ignorance. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? just because people are different from YOU does not mean they deserve your ridicule or insensitive remarks. you should think before you write such hateful words. gender has NEVER been defined by whom you love. and just because you love someone of your own sex does NOT make you less than who you are biologically. take a damn intro to women's and gender studies class you ignoramus or just get off of this campus.columbia is worse with you being a part of it.

    • i can't believe  

      someone actually made that comment. makes me sad.

  4. oh dear  

    here's the problem. i don't know what the other guy said but if bwog's all of a sudden going to become the pc police the commenting will simply go downhill...

    and if its really about just having a chuckle at a stupid joke or not trying to needlessly hurt people's feelings or bash them without reason then a quarter of bwog's POSTS wouldn't qualify..and heck you'd owe miriam and kulawik apologies

  5. John  

    Datskovsky and Kulawik are out for attention; may the good go with the bad. I might be biased, I think they can be a bit ridiculous.

    Most importantly, how many people will have the guts to be in personals if people keep bashing them for it? I doubt many people are willing as it is. That and last week the Bwog was given a hard time for not having put up a gay personal yet—you'd think they would want to protect their ability to get more personals up. This could be a content problem rather than an ideological one.

    That and the commenting was downhill...if bwog's comment was hardly ingenious. Not really a pace-setter.

    • thank you  

      i was waiting for the public figure/out for attention bit of that. It's an utterly insipid argument. First Kulawik and Datkovsky aren't both just 'out for attention' except in your eyes (and it just shows your indifference to their feelings in that you characterize them that way). Both write periodic articles on specialized topics- sex and politics respectively. Sure, you can be critical of their writings, but it'd be a joke to claim bwoggers haven't engaged in much more personal criticism.

      Second of all, where your argument really falls apart is the claim that because the two are 'out for attention' aka 'public figures' they have to have the good go w/the bad. Hello. Your personal ads people are submitting their personals not on a private monitored dating site but on a gossip blog which is irreverant and known for its snark campuswide. It is a medium of public imformation and has as one of its counterparts a site called 'gawker'. If that doesn't scream attention whore I don't know what does. As for possible negative comments hurting a publication's ability to attract certain content, the same really goes for spec and yet they still allow substanative and limited ad hom attacks in their letters to the editor page. If comments about a person go directly to the issue in a case- a person character which is being advertised- there better be a good reason for censorship as opposed to 'we want to protect' those people who we like.

      Look, there's definitely a way to go about keeping out some garbage. Say you'll disallow comments which make vulgar, libelous or unconfirmable assertions. Those at least have some concrete standards. Otherwise, you have to be prepared for the negative--the bwog is an interface with the real, columbian world--and frankly it isn't all rainbows and marshmellow kisses.

  6. you  

    people need to lighten the fuck up. You have your heads so far up your asses you're near-ideal tori of conceitdness. wrap your head around that one.

  7. John  

    My personal ads?

    Look: the bwog may be known for irreverence and snark, but the personals are interviews. The only irreverence and snark come from the interviewed.

    Kulawik's feelings don't seem to be keeping him out of the limelight. Evidently, attacks on him aren't going to scare him off his writing for three reasons: one, he is committed to write a series of editorials rather than one; two, he has the option, unlike the personals, to publish further and defend his position; and three, by backing down he would severely compromise republican causes on campus, for which he is a certain figurehead. Datskovsky is in the same boat, leaving out campus leadership. A guy whose friends put him up to a personal doesn't have the same incentive to expose himself.

    Vulgar comments like the above (yes, some people think that's vulgar) can have a point, or they might not. I suppose that one is still up because it's illustrating a point in a debate that's going to have people riled up for a while. It's a pity, because my mother and stepmother read this page, and my aunt, and a whole bunch of other people's families. How do you figure what could be classified as harassment under university policy has a place in front of them? Not to get subjective in a rhetorical way, but how do you figure it would feel for one of Orlando's parents to read "if bwog"? More importantly, how do you figure Spec doesn't edit these 'limited ad hom attacks' and filter out the ridiculous, offensive, and unnecessary ones?

    You raise good points, in that they haven't been addressed in this forum, but they're not airtight.

    Nothing is 'marshmellow kisses', by the way. Never heard of them, though it's clear what you're getting at. But if the world isn't perfect, people will be pragmatic.

  8. I can't believe  

    people can be so harsh. No wonder Bwog deletes comments sometimes. It's just not fair to this kid. Sure Columbia's impersonal, but some of the stuff people write on this site proves that some of the kids here are just cruel.
    And there's nothing edgy or cool about that.

  9. people  

    tend to forget that this is primarily a humorous, "controversial" publication. I would hate to be someone like "outraged", who is so deep into her (his? nah probably her) women's studies BS that she gets infuriated by INTERNET FORUMS. There are places for people like you. They're called anger management support groups, and you should seriously invest some time in one. It's not psychologically normal to become so incensed at this type of material. So aside from telling me to get off campus, what's your solution? Disallow all negative/ slightly insulting comments? I guess some people's studies really have completely depressed the other areas of their brains. Life isn't about being able to spew intellectual acid at anyone's face, on the fly. Very well, I'll try to be more positive. I was utterly intrigued by both of these personal ads, despite being a straight woman. I find both people marvelously attractive, and can hardly believe that with all their attractiveness, sheer intelligence and unmatched talent, they still find themselves single. What is this world coming to?

  10. Has  

    anyone mentioned that grossly public personal ads, are by their very definition stupid? I will retract this comment if anyone can show me solid, undeniable proof that even ONE of these ads resulted in a long-term meaningful relationship.

    • i doubt  

      that they are meant to result in long-term meaningful relationships. they are meant to be humorous and probably to make people think. i doubt anyone actually responds, we being at columbia and all. how many long-term meaningful relationships, let alone dates, do you see going on here? pathetic!

  11. shut up please

    this thread is way out of hand. Just stop yer bitchin, all of u.

  12. shut up please

    this thread is way out of hand. Just stop yer bitchin, all of u.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.