Apparently, professors at our fine institution have had sex on the brain these past few days.  Bwog tipsters have sent in no fewer than four quotes on the subject from their classes, here compiled.

From Professor Don Melnick in today’s Biodiversity lecture:

“So if I had a jar, I could reach into the jar, and pull one wiggling sperm out…”

From Dr. Shahid Naeem, lecturing on the  picture from his slide show at right:

“Now, Trichomoniasis is actually a sexual disease. And since these individuals seem to lack genetalia, I don’t think they’ll have a problem.”

 More after the jump…

A third quote comes from Liz Irwin, speaking about Thucydides:

“I find it very worrying that both of our major historical texts [i.e., Herodotus’ Histories and Thucydides’ History], in their first few pages, have a discussion of nudity and why the Asians don’t like exercising naked. Is this just a coincidence, or is it saying something about their society? Why should they both do this? I don’t understand, and it bothers me. All the time.”

Amari Hammonds reports the following scenario:

Today in Principles of Economics class, [Professor] Gulati challenged us to find a good for which, as we consume more and more, our incremental satisfaction won’t decline at some point.  Such a discovery would violate the law of diminishing marginal utility.  One response:



Student: What about sex? (requisite laughter from class)

Gulati: Well, the position is… (more laughter; Gulati pauses awkwardly).  It’s a good thing you can’t see me blush easily. Well, okay, for one thing, sex is not a market transaction for most of us.

Note: Bwog has it from a reliable source that this same exchange occurred in the Principles of Economics class last year, awkward wording and all.  Perhaps Gulati baits his students?  Eh, Sunil?

Finally, a special treat.  Overheard in Kent basement, from an unidentified female Columbia employee (non-professor):

“He’s as lazy as the day is long.  Shit, is he lazy.  I may have to fuck him.”