Personals: necking in the back of the Batmobile edition

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Got Seasonal Affective Depression already? Bwog Personals has just the prescription. If one of these two strikes your fancy email [email protected] and let us know. If it’s a match, we’ll spring $5 for a date. Coffee, pastries at Café 212—it’s your choice, and a probably guaranteed good time! And remember: if you or anyone you know would like to be a personal, let us know. We’re forever accepting nominations.

 Guy for Superhero Sidekick


 Girl for Guy



Name: Michael

School: CC

Year: 2009

Political Science

Hometown: Clarkston, Michigan

Top three songs according to ITunes’ play count:

Drunk again, Reel Big Fish

Bankhead, T.I.

St. Elsewhere, Gnarls Barkely

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

Chicken parmesan

Life cereal


Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

Polka dots, mini strobe lights, and neon tubing… Good times.

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?

Comatose in my room sleeping off Saturday night .

Nightmare date in three words or less:

Bobble-heads and Ferris wheels.

So, what are you doing after college?

Trying to gain diplomatic immunity in all countries, including the US.

When I first came to Columbia, I thought…

The food in John Jay dinning hall borders on some kind of human rights violation.

TCBY or Tasti-Delight?

What the hell is Tasti-Delight?

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?

Telekinesis, deal.

Unusual talents?

White people love me .

MySpace or Facebook?

Facebook, I guess.

Michael! Let’s fight crime! 


Name: Joyce

School: CC 

Year: 2007 

Major: Comparative Literature and Society 

Hometown: Hong Kong


Top three songs according to iTunes’ play count:

“We Belong Together” Mariah Carey

“Gatekeeper” Feist

“This Charming Man” The Stars 


You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they? 

1) German chocolate muesli 

2) Watermelon 

3) Got rice, bitch?

Describe your favorite pair of underwear. 

What underwear? Just kidding…I just got these purple seamless satin boyshorts from Vicky’s that I’m digging for comfort and lack of VPL.

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found? 

Trying [unsuccessfully] to read in Butler.

Nightmare date in three words or less: 

Dumb egocentric douchebag.

So, what are you doing after college? 

Going to the motherland (China) and learning to live with communism while applying to grad school in Comp Lit. That, or traveling through Southeast Asia. Or trying to convince some employer that my interest in German aesthetic theory is a “transferable skill.”

When I first came to Columbia , I thought…. 

A big anonymous urban school = perfect escape from my New England boarding school bubble = my dream school.

TCBY or Tasti D-lite?  

Neither. Gelato all the way, baby.

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision? 

Flight—so I can get places faster.

Unusual talents? 

I know all the words to “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind. Boy, I’m old. I can also recite Goethe drunk.

MySpace or Facebook? 

MySpace is too confusing, so Facebook. (Does anyone still remember CUCommunity, or whatever it was called??)

Joyce! German poetry turns me on!



  1. weird  

    is fighting crime like the new word for a gay relationship?

    amd a dumb, egotistic douchebag? real specific- i worry how high maintenance she is

    • Muchael Marion  

      I was asked to make my BWOG personal with 20 minutes to spare. I decided to be looking for a "super hero sidekick" because I had 20 minutes and I assumed no one read the BWOG (i dont, i have better things to do with my time). Aslo, id like to ask you what kind of hopeless duchebag goes on BWOG and asks for a girlfriend(no offense to hopeless duchebags and people who go on BWOG to find relationships..)? I have social skills and id rather talk to a girl than meet her over the internet. And for everyones information im not gay. So yeah, eat my shit.

      Over and out,

      Michael Marion

  2. Joyce  

    could play with my rhubarb any time of day.

  3. Anonymous  

    I don't think he's looking for a gay relationship.

    ever heard of something called FRIENDSHIP?

  4. maybe  

    it's the blurry-eyed sleep deprivation, but when i read the top line it intially appeared to say "guy for superhero dick". I was like wow, the gays are getting pretty specific. No offense, just thought i'd share my stupidity.

  5. ugh  

    i would totally spring for joyce but i'm just not the type of guy who will admit to looking at personals, let alone contact someone through them.

  6. The Stars?  

    Everyone covers "this charming man". Its actually a necessary condition for being considered a early 2000s popgroup. If I had to rank I would say:

    The Smiths
    Death Cab

    Also, i think we've all clearly agreed that The Get Up Kids' version of "Close to Me" is superior to The Cure's original version.

  7. gelato fan  

    how wise of joyce. clearly she is a catch.

  8. weeeeeeeee  

    another hipster vs. hipster hater fight

  9. Joyce fan  

    A German aesthetic theorist once wrote, "Es ist ausdücklich bewiesen worden, daß die Schönheit kein Resultat weder für den Verstand noch den Willen gebe, daß sie sich in kein Geschäft weder des Denkens noch des Entschließens mische, daß sie zu beyden bloß das Vermögen ertheile, aber über den wirklichen Gebrauch dieses Vermögens durchaus nichts bestimme."

    I gotta agree with posters 2, 7, and 9, though.

  10. V47  

    I would reveal my identity for Joyce for sure.

  11. meh  

    I actually like the Cure a lot more than the Get up Kids as a band, and I am most certainly not from New Jersey. However, "Close to me" is simply done better by the Get up Kids. Perhaps its' becuase I heard the Get Up Kids' cover first...

    Also, who says "Death Cab for Cutie"...? I'm not a huge fan of their stuff (just checked my itunes and I haven't listend to a "death cab for cutie" song in 4 months) but I don't think I've heard anyone say "death cab for cutie" in about 5 years.

  12. Germanist  

    Das war ein Zitat aus Kant, oder?

  13. varun  

    haha that "White people love me." line was absolutely fantastic.

  14. hahaha  

    CUCom lives! or not...

  15. Woodley  

    Someone hook up Joyce with Michael Woodley IMMEDIATELY!

  16. Komparatist  

    Ach so, wenn man einige Symbolen auf dem Bwog verwendet, sind die als HTML interpretiert. Statt Zitatzeichen habe ich Karaten gebraucht. Eigentlich soll das vorherige Satz "zum Thema 'Über die ästhetische Erziehung des Menschen' geschrieben" gelesen werden.

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