Philo Dispatch

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Are they for real? We’re not quite sure. But the Philolexian Society does meet every Thursday, and they are quite serious about what they discuss–last night, whether humans or whales should be saved. Bwog Philo correspondent Josh Schwartz has this report.

philoAt the hour of eight and a half, the Philolexian society, Columbia’s oldest student organization, founded in 1802 by cohorts of Alexander Hamilton, gathered in the J. D. Satow room in Lerner to munch on cake, cookies and carrots before launching into passionate debate and off color jokes.

However, before the debate and whatnot can commence, a member must present him/herself before the society and proffer up a literary exercise.  This week’s victim was Adam Katz, CC ’08, who gave an inspiring and nuanced reading of his most recent poetic output.  Katz, an English major focusing on the ins and outs of verse, presented a sestina, a villanelle, and, finally, a lighthearted piece on the more ridiculous side of professional sports.

Finally, the debate could begin.  The night’s topic read thusly: “Resolved: Save Us Not the Whales.”  Some speakers chose to use the topic as a dichotomization between environmental and human concerns, while others preferred to focus more on its anti-whale sentiment.  One freshman speaker gave an especially entertaining speech, in which she alerted her audience to the dangers of an aquatic mammal whose mass is much larger than that of a human in a world that is three-fourths water.  Not only that, but with global warming and the ocean levels rising, they just may be invading.  One Philo member called out that they may even be infiltrating, since our bodies are also 80% water.  Mini-whales?  Bastards.

When all was said and done, the resolution failed, leaving the whales free and safe…. for now.

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  1. wtf  

    why is bwog posting this? club faovritism?

    bwog, i thought you were cool.

    • adam  

      As the main beneficiary of this article, publicity-wise, and an established Philo cheerleader in my own right, I have to say that decrying "philo favoritism" is like decrying "George Bush favoritism" in The New Republic. When the things your club says are funnier than the things our club says, fine, you can be the president. I mean club. Did I say president? I meant club. Right.

  2. yeah  

    I mean, this basically either demonstrates club favoritism or forces bwog to visit every meeting of every club. nothing especial about this...

  3. haha  

    philo is so freaking dumb.

  4. bwog is cool  

    "I mean, this basically either demonstrates club favoritism or forces bwog to visit every meeting of every club"

    why? bwog is not the columbia official magazine. bwog is not the spec. bwog can favor certain clubs if it wants to, just as bwog focuses on certain columbia related topics more than others.

  5. duh  

    bwog does not favor the philos.

    bwog favors whales.

  6. O'Reilly  

    Philo must create a NO SPIN ZONE where nobody can favor anyone.

  7. O'Reilly  

    I mean Bwog. Must be because I haven't had vibrator phone sex with my secretary in awhile.

  8. josh schwartz

    i very well may be "cheerleader," but i did try not to be in this article. at the very least, i tried to keep my own participation out of it. what i did make sure to mention was my friend adam's very skillful use of archaic poetic forms. we're a university with a very strong liberal arts thrust and a wonderful literary tradition, stretching back to people like alfred joyce kilmer and allen ginsburg (who were both philos). i don't know of other clubs that feature literary works and effort for their own sake. if they do exist, please inform me, because i'd love to join.
    other clubs should be reported on, too. and after two weeks of shirking my responsibilities, i finally sent in a report.

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