Nov

1

Bwog Personals: After Midnight Edition

Written by

Bwog Personals receives countless testimonials. “I met my future spouse on Bwog!” “My date was great!” “It’s tough on grease and fights germs too!” “It cuts the fat!” Well, if anything we’ve had a pretty good track record lately! So if one of these two strikes your fancy, email [email protected] and let us know. If it’s a match, we’ll spring $5 for a date. (Generous!) And if you or anyone you know would like to be a personal (ahem, broadcast your awesome personality on the Bwog), let us know. We’re forever accepting nominations.

Girl for Guy

 Guy for Girl
 
Girl for Guy
 
Guy for Girl

 


Name: Ingrid

School: CC

Year: 2008

Major: history

Hometown: Anchorage, AK

Top three songs according to ITunes’ play count:

On The Border… The Eagles

Tradewinds…. Pepper

Laid… Matt Nathanson

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

Hot Tamales

Smart Start Healthy Heart (the brown sugar kind)

the new Starbucks breakfast sandwiches

Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

Black.

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?

Watching movies in bed

Nightmare date in three words or less:

“I don’t dance”

So, what are you doing after college?

Well if this personals thing pans out….

When I first came to Columbia, I thought….

What’s Duane Reade?

TCBY or Tasti-Delight?

TCBY

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?

Flight

Unusual talents?

Sadly, not even some of the usual ones

MySpace or Facebook?

My brother recently got MySpace and I joined, but the songs people

have on their pages drive me nuts. So…. Facebook.

Fly with me, Ingrid! 

Name: Josh

School: CC

Year: ’09

Major: Poli Sci / MEALAC

Hometown: Brick, NJ

Top three songs according to ITunes’ play count:

“What You Know” – T.I.

“Thriller” – Michael Jackson

De-Loused in the Comatorium (the whole thing) – The Mars Volta

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

Brie, jelly, and hummus…for posterity

Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

They’re all pretty much the same considering that that I bought seven 3-packs of Fruit of the Loom boxers during a Wal-Mart shopping spree. If I had to choose one, it’d be the one with the bright red, Christmas plaid pattern because it’s like having a little Yuletide cheer wherever you go.

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?

E-board meeting with Helvidius Journal or rushing through Arabic homework

Nightmare date in three words or less:

Postmodernism, awkward conversation

So, what are you doing after college?

After a 5-6 year stint as a starving, disheveled grad student, I’ll get a PhD in Middle Eastern studies, don a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, and become a professor with an affinity for sultry co-eds in search of “extra credit”…

When I first came to Columbia, I thought…

“God, I hate Nietzsche.”

TCBY or Tasti-Delight?

Both taste like ass. Get me a chocolate babka from Morton Williams, and I’ll be happy.

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?

I’m tempted to say flight because it’d be the most convenient, but I know people would think I’m really obnoxious whenever I used it. Like, “Oh, there goes Josh, flying to class again… What a fucking douche bag.” I think I’ll just stick with being racially ambiguous.

Unusual talents?

I cook, I sew, and during the summer, I fight crime at the beach. Oh, and people know me.

MySpace or Facebook?

Facebook…but in either case, I cringe whenever people describe themselves as “really random” or their musical tastes as “eclectic.”

I want to know you, Josh!

Tags:

29 Comments

  1. haha  

    josh. you and your chocolate babka.

  2. smitten  

    so you're the cute redhead i've been seeing everywhere...

  3. josh  

    might be the most bearable/likeable person so far amongst the personals

    (i don't want to date him though. i'm not gay)

  4. hey alaska  

    i'd dance with you

  5. mcbizzle f0'  

    josh is one of the nicest people around

  6. ingrid!  

    i love you! i wish i were an xy..

  7. joshua,  

    i love. bring it all back home, son.

  8. i know  

    josh. he's in cc with me!

  9. wow  

    columbia has students from alaska? that's a trip (literally...a long one).

  10. Aww!  

    Ingrid is on Bwog personals! You would do well to at least talk to her, she is one of the kindest and easiest girls to talk to you will find.

  11. ees so simpo

    i don't understand why they don't just date each other. come now.

  12. Actually  

    Yeah, that would probably work. Anyone that puts postmodernism as an awkward date requirement is A-ok in my book.

  13. truthfully  

    it's a sad, sad, day when girls as amazing as ingrid have to resort to bwog personals because they can't find a date any other way on this campus.

    • yeah  

      if only guys had the balls to ask out girls like her. especially because you know, girls have that condition where they're too good to do the same

    • umm  

      I'm pretty sure people don't sign up for Bwog Personals themselves. Their friends nominate them, and they embarrassedly go along with it.

      I know this because I tried to get a date with Josh last week, and he told me he was booked through Christmas.

  14. ooh my!  

    I heard Brick, NJ is the safest town in America. Is that where he got his beach-crime fighting skills?

  15. re: umm  

    you're probably beautiful and lovely, but i'd bet he was lying to you.

  16. Anonymous  

    Ingrid, this is hot and I love it. You should take your date to starbs.

  17. McFister

    Ingrid is cute, but she listens to The Eagles. It would never work.

  18. Josh's Lover

    Oh Josh, you know just how I like it. Please come to me tonight! I will have hummus and my nude body waiting for you! OH YES! OH YES!

  19. secret_admirer  

    Ingrid....my Ingrid....how I long for thee.

  20. one word:  

    japornimation

  21. ingrid!  

    you're too good for bwog personals!

  22. Aaaaaah  

    Josh Matthews! You are my secret pseudo-crush.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.