Bwog is signing off for awhile to stuff our faces with sweetmeats and to relax Frankie Goes to Hollywood-style. But before we do, we asked several campus figures to tell us what they want for Chrismakwanzikkah or the other non-denominational winter holiday they celebrate. We got a few responses, starting with Sumaiya Ahmed’s interview with…
Antonio, a security guard at McBain who says he wants a silver watch, a tuxedo, and the other half of his orange.
“You know what I mean don’t you?”
“Umm, you mean your wife?”
“Yes,” he says. “Well, a girlfriend, my ex-wife….”
Tao Tan: “Either the repeal of the capital gains tax, or the Battlestar Pegasus (with 4 squadrons of Mark VII Vipers).”
Professor Carl Hart: “Hmmm, let’s see…For Christmas, I’d like justice for those with limited resources. I hope this answers the question.”
Tim, the bearded violin player outside Lerner says, “I would like that the world be more like the people in New York, how they have been to me, taking care of each other. It is astounding. It is not like that everywhere, you know.”
He is from Wisconsin, though he says the people there are nice too.
“I have hope for us,” he says. “I think we’ll figure it out. You young folks, you’re pretty bright. Pretty and bright! Though of course, I don’t wanna make any big generalizations.”
Carmen who works at Butler’s Blue Java: “An ipod! A million dollars!” A co-worker chimes in, “She wants a gift card to Victoria’s Secret!”
They start singing. Students come in and do not know what is going on.
ESC president Dan Okin: “I guess as far as materialistic desires right now, I’d have to say that I would want a week-long vacation to somewhere hot and sunny. Must have a beach, pool, drink service and a wonderful way to just sit and relax for a week. Enough for me and a few friends to just veg out… that would be amazing.”
Spectator opinion columnist Miriam Datskovsky: “In an ideal world, I would like a get-out-of-finals-free card, three or four days of uninterrupted sleep, and a guaranteed job after graduation. In the real world, I’m shooting for cheap jewelry, an Amazon.com/Barnes & Noble gift certificate, and some plastic wine glasses.”
CCSC President Seth Flaxman: “Will bwog finish my law applications for me in time for Christmas?”
Spectator Editor in Chief John Davisson: “Two turntables and a microphone.”
Calvin Sun, Vice-Chair for CC/SEAS of the Asian American Alliance: “A nice cup of peppermint hot chocolate :-)”
Officer Murray, works until midnight at Hartley Hall: “Christmas to me means not giving, but showing the love to all mankind. Sharing love, but not giving gifts. That’s commercialism. Gifts given from the heart: being thankful for that day and your fellow man. Being with your family, united. That’s what Christmas means to me.”
Outgoing BW Editor in Chief Avi Zenilman: “A war on Christmas. Or a cakewalk.”
Omelet lady Wilma: “Good health – that’s what I’m hoping for. Good health.”
–Sumaiya Ahmed, Jessica Cohen, Dan D’Addario, Lydia DePillis, and Sara Vogel
43 Comments
@indeed http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=responsible&db=*
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=responsable&db=*
@I LOVE YOU SIMPSONS REF
@Simpsons Ref Mr. Burns: (checking his stocks) “Ah, right where I left off September, 1929 … oh… oh no… Smithers, why didn’t you tell me about this market crash?!”
Smithers: “Um, well…sir, it happened twenty-five years before I was born.”
Mr. Burns: “Oh, that’s your excuse for everything!”
@no. tao tan merely masterminded the holocaust, soviet russia’s gulags, and 9/11.
@i heard tao tan was responsible for the asian financial crisis
@Didn't Tao Tan cause the Great Depression?
@you spelled it wrong it’s “responsable”
@goddamn it it’s RESPONSIBLE. please tell me you were kidding.
@dude of course i was kidding. b@b joke.
@tao tan gave me investing advice once, and I made $3 million in a week and ended up owning a Russian natural gas pipeline
@umm there’s been no mention of the student killed on friday.
http://media.www.columbiaspectator.com/media/storage/paper865/news/2006/12/23/News/Columbia.College.FirstYear.Dies.In.Car.Accident-2599294.shtml?sourcedomain=www.columbiaspectator.com&MIIHost=media.collegepublisher.com
@ah columbia There are so many unique people here. Where else could you possibly find somebody like Tao Tan (who is so awesome)?
@tao tan you can find him thursday nights on nbc’s “the office,” alias: dwight shrute
@merry christmas to all, and even tao tan!
@bari This post is fantastic–
to do this sort of feature on real campus controversies would be great.
@sumaiya i love you bari.
@fan I love John Davisson.
@Still waiting for a protestor/Bollinger post
Anyone else?
@i like this post a lot.
@MANLEY COTTINGSHIRE WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE FOR AN OSTERTON WOLFSRIFLE THIS CHRISTDAY
@secret i want to pass math
@I want an A in orgo. But unless Santa assassinates my professor and cracks into SSOL, I’m more likely to get that pony.
@hurrah! thank you bwog, for being nice
merry christmas, everyone.
@wilma is the greatest.
@Erf Great post!
@hannah anyone get contact info or anything for tim? I saw him playing in the subway the other day and really watned to talk to him but didn’t want to interrupt. He’s a great fiddler, and I’m an aspiring fiddler, I’d like to talk to him…
@kudos on the post. I feel warm and squishy =D
@jbw “Bwog is signing off for awhile”
Bwog would totally pronounce this as ‘awHHHile’
(family guy reference)
@Sprinkles Carl Hart is awesome, the hidden gem of Columbia. In short, he kicks ass.
@some of the security guards/employees on this campus are actually really nice. I wish more people were appreciative of them.
@gee Bwog, you make me so happy. I’ll miss you over break.
@still wishing I want a pony
@this was a really awesome post
@I agree with Tim the bearded violin player – Wisconsinites are pretty nice. :-)
@well i want all of you to be unhappy
@:-) i liked this piece. a lot.
@Uh... No one cares what you wanted. We want more Wilma.
@meh I was just getting in the mood.
@Shira I love Carl Hart.
@i think I’m hoping for peace of mind. That would be nice. Peace of mind — and the hopeful realization that I did better than I thought this semester.
@i'm hoping for the exact same thing. good luck to the both of us… :)
@nono i like this a lot.
@Gosh, I love Wilma.