Jan

24

Bwog Bends Boundaries

Written by

Reflecting the noble efforts of its students, redefining the known world in experimental breakthroughs and subversive anthropology theses alike, Bwog has recently come upon a couple examples of Columbia’s own willingness to fight the dominant paradigm. Follow our earth-shattering eye to…


The World of Pop Culture:
According to Metro (New York’s #1 newspaper…in contributing to subway litter) Columbia is involved in negotiations to take over TriBeCa’s ARChive [sic] of Contemporary Music, a private collection of two million recordings frequented by international DJs, and turn it into the “country’s first major center for the study of popular music”. The “ARC“, like Noah, has collected two of every album made since 1950, including a signed copy of the first Rolling Stones album on which “Keith Richards’ autograph is blurred because the original owner kept it in a pile where his dog always went to pee”. Sounds like something to finally replace that stage model exhibit that’s now been occupying Butler’s hallways for years.


The Source of That Nasty Smell:
Whoever was in Manhattan on January 8th will recall (willingly or not) the horrific smell that permeated the borough’s atmosphere. In Sunday’s New York Times, Columbia researchers (with a Barnard associate) proposed what they thought was the answer to the quandary over the stench’s source. “The odor was caused by gases released from saltwater marshes in the metropolitan area,” the researchers state. The stinky swamps were, of course, in Jersey, which will no doubt give new meaning to the already encouraging nickname “Armpit of America”. But wait, there’s more – the scientists used “Columbia University instruments on rooftops in Manhattan” to measure the speed of the wind carrying the revolting odor. It all gives a new meaning to the name “Pupin”.

-CJS

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8 Comments

  1. hah  

    so nj farted, eh? not surprised. whenever i drive past the swampy meadowlands of the jerz i swear someone in the car dealt one.

  2. flea-wee vermin

    i had those same garbage pail kids-type stickers when i was little. they are indeed awesome.

  3. man,  

    that smell story has been on the columbia frontpage for quite some time now, i'm surprised you guys didn't pick up on it earlier.

    • well  

      the story on the frontpage has now been updated with images of columbia scientists colonizing harlem rooftops with weather probes. which gives me an idea- why not build manhattanville ON TOP of the existing infrastructure...literally?

  4. it's common  

    knowledge that 97.5% of all malodorous phenomena are inextricably linked to New Jersey- "The Fartin' State"

  5. Elna

    A full 97.5% attributed to New Jersey alone? I don't think so. What about Staten Island and its Fresh Kills history?

  6. Poop  

    fuck you homos, new jersey is the shit

  7. Rzz  

    That's the problem, dood(y)

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