12 CommentsToday is Valentine’s Day, and time to declare your love, and, if you are a CC Sophomore, your major. Whether you want love, a major, or neither, Bwog can help you by giving you a guide to read and criticize.
Love
For many people, and even some at Columbia, this is a beautiful day for love, and Professor David Keyes has a mathematical way to show it, reports tipster Steven Thomas:
Graph the equation (2x-ax/(x^2+y^2)^0.5) + (2y+a-ay/(x^2+y^2)^.5)dy/dx = 0), and after ten minutes of mathematical foreplay, you will generate the result at right, which can be rotated 90 degrees to make a familiar figure.
Success
Today CC Sophomores received an e-mail saying “Time to declare your major!” to which most of them probably mentally responded “fuck you, no it isn’t!” True, you can declare your major any time until March 1st, but today is the first day to make the first day of the rest of of your college life. This list, compiled by the National Association of Colleges and employers, tells which majors are the most profitable right off the bat. Choose wisely, and three years from now you can afford a diamond, the substance with the highest RpV (romance per volume) of any in the world. Unfortunately for CC students, even if they are choosing the hot hot major of Econ, they can still get beat out by their SEAS colleagues. The tables will turn!
Neither
There is no better natural alternative to both work and love than the act of masturbation; In today’s sexually progressive era, masturbating to say “fuck you” to the world is a technique used by women as well as men, according to sex columnist “Jenny Paradise” of UCSB’s Daily Nexus. I still think “fuck it, might as well jack off” is a more elegant way to express the same thing.
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12 Comments
@Guys, The point was that people wouldn’t already know that it was a cardioid. It was supposed to be a surprise.
Prof Keyes is the man. I haven’t met another professor who loves what s/he does as much as Keyes does.
@I agree I had Keyes too and he was awesome. Did he do the ODE on a grecian urn yet? hahahah oh man, every day with Keyes was a nerdgasm.
@malk You know, that cardioid is a helluvalot easier to express with polar equations.
@i remember in high school when i graphed an ejactulating penis. those were the days.
@haha CC bwoggers who think they know anything about polar geometry.
– CC wanna-be bwogger.
@yo... eat a bag of dicks, the equation is what the professor did in class, so take it up with keyes
@I'd rather eat a box of dicks, if that’s alright with you.
@Frontiers in Science “the equation is what the professor did in class,”
I doubt that 17 year olds know more than faculty.
@mike Actually, this form is more complicated than it needs to be…using polar form, the representation is r=1-sin(theta). That will also be rotated correctly.
@Yeah! Stratego Piece! Awesome!
@Anonymous Your Cardioid has a funky equation, bwog.
@That is a sex columnist who writes about sex. Take a tip, bwog sex columnist.