Afternoon Update: Chopping Through the Underbrush Edition
Written by Bwog Staff
Blades on campus
After raising the level of machete-related campus chatter to an all-time high last Friday, Spec cruelly crushed our Indiana Jones dreams with a correction today. “According to a statement issued Friday by Columbia’s office of public affairs—the first since the incident—the door was opened by a handyman under police supervision with a crowbar and power drill.”
That’s right, y’all. Crowbar, not machete. Our sympathy to the deceased.
Overheard outside Duane Reade
Middle-aged woman to another middle-aged woman: “Excuse me, if I give you money, would you go in there and buy me a pair of knee-high stockings?”
Bwog’s dear friend Yelena Shuster writes in with a plea for help:
“At three o’clock Sunday morning, I left many important materials in the Schapiro Sky Lounge, which included a purple binder packed with ALL of my class notes for ALL of my classes, midterm notes for CC, my finished homework for next week, and a black (personal) journal. I showed up at four in the afternoon, and there was nothing left.
I spoke to facilities and there is nothing they can do. While digging through trash in Schapiro’s basement (seriously desperate), I came across the guy who cleaned out the Sky Lounge and he said he didn’t see any papers there when he came in around nine A.M., which leaves me to think that for some reason, someone took my stuff between the hours of three and nine A.M. on Sunday.”