More letters added to Columbia’s delicious alphabet soup

UAlbany students told their teetotalist public service announcement patronizing, lame. We know some substances that could fire their creativity…

Plus, without drinking, how could we learn that “blackout activity range[s] from sex to urination to fluent sentences in Hebrew” or forget “social standards, repercussions, your future, and other extraneous details”?

Morningside residents commemorate war anniversairy, bemoan lack of youngins

Meanwhile, one of the aforementioned youngins mocks “poorly-attended rallies,” concocts bold new plan to stop the war: “Let your life be a counter-friction”