Staking out God’s House
Written by Bwog Staff
After finding out about Elton John’s shindig at the little old cathedral down the way, Bwog donned our best wannabe-paparazzi gear (i.e., a dinky digital camera) and headed over at eight o’clock for a glance at the spectacle. A quick peek turned into nearly an hour of celebrity-sighting bliss as we joined the groundlings swarming to ogle icons of culture meandering up the church steps, accompanied by starshowers of camera flashes. We saw lots of skin, lots of 7-inch heels (what a trend!), and lots of pissed-off security guards. Celebs included Richard Gere and Calista, Liv Tyler, Kid Rock, Robin Williams, the Scissor Sisters, the Osbourne parents, Elizabeth Hurley, Yoko Ono, and… Fran Drescher’s boob.
We couldn’t really see much of the action, but the celebs aren’t the point–it’s the spectacle that follows them. Morningside Heighters don’t get much excitement in their lives, and Elton injected it with a healthy dose of starpower last night. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!” gasped one man to his female companion, grabbing her by the waist. The groundlings cried out, “You’re beautiful!” and cheered for the cooks and servers when they hurried through the door. Across the street, Bwog helpfully informed passersby of what the hell was going on at their church, and mentally noted their responses.
“I like, thought he was long dead!”
“I feel like a tool.”
“Oh, isn’t that wonderful.”
“Elton? Not a fan.”
“Wait, I thought it was a tribute to Princess Di?”
Just down the street, Bwog ran into a party of a different nature–people giving out food to the homeless out of the back of a van. A guy offered to drive it right up in front of the church with the black Escalades and stretch limos. Bwog declined and kept walking, our toes numb and hair bedraggled. A papparazzo’s life is not for us.
– KER and LBD