A familiar voice, and then a synthesizer

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Someone calling herself Reni Laine (the suspicious name was not found on Facebook nor the Columbia Directory, her name’s there Bwog just can’t spell) sent Bwog a music video, about, of all things, Frontiers of Science. “Sexy ladies, get out your calculators…we’re gonna do a little thing called a…back of the envelope calculation.” 

Though it was most obviously filmed against the cinder blocks of a Carman double, Bwog commends the sophisticated lighting techniques — flashlights and Christmas decorations.The sexy fadeout of Frontiers lecturer Darcy Kelley’s sensuous voice may just keep you awake in class on Monday.

UPDATE: Reni has a myspace, apparently she tours and just released a CD. Also, Bwog consulted a first-year–apparently the video is the product of an extra credit assignment, in which the tykes had the option to express themselves “artistically” about everyone’s favorite science requirement.

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  1. senior  

    bah, can't relate

    you kids are suckers for all coming here after they changed the core for the worse

    • senior

      I piloted the course. Lectures were friday morning at 9. they told us all of our negative reviews were irrelevant since we hadn't had the last lecture yet when everything would be tied together. it was about the mating habits of frogs...

  2. wow  

    that was actually... good

    bravo Reni Lane!

  3. identity!  

    A Reni Laine does appear on facebook as a freshman English major. From the lyrics and the tiny picture, I'd guess it's her.

  4. senior2  

    ok I admit, it was actually good.

  5. senior3  

    this video is awesome! I'm always amazed by the creative potential of random columbia students i've never met.

  6. back of the envelope  

    isn't the point of back of the envelope calculations that you don't need a calculator?

  7. impressed  

    She's actually really, really good

  8. actually though  

    I am ashamed of my class. - CC'10

  9. Reni Laine  

    is amazing. She should be a b&w campus character. Chica has skillz

  10. hey  

    don't forget about the strobe light - it ties it all together, y'know?

  11. Dolby  

    She ripped this shit off. Are you all blind?

    p.s. SCIENCE!

  12. Sigh  

    Frontiers is a joke. Try taking Gateway and you'll learn the real meaning of busywork.

    The song, however, was cool. Anyone know where the violin-dealy in the background is from?

  13. this  

    is absolutely hilarious

  14. $$$lines  

    1) calling us SEAS boys sexy
    2) postulating that FroSci teaches anything even remotely relevant to SEAS courses.

  15. yo bwog  

    how'd you not know who reni laine is? i thought you guys were in the know. the girl's legit

  16. penny lane  

    Any ol' rich person can "release" a CD and "tour" as a vanity project. How embarrassing, though, if you were a real music fan: "Hey my new favorite artist is this WASPy 18 year old ivy leaguer with a keyboard"

  17. hmm  

    that violin thing is from the song Believe Me by Fort Minor. copyright violation?

  18. Only at  

    Columbia do people like to argue for the sake of argument. I thought the video was half-decent, give the girl some credit.

  19. yes, and no  

    "she is a real musician"


    "it's really pretty good"

  20. yeah guys

    oh yeah I'm sure she really put together this video with all the artistic talent she has. Jesus it's just an extra credit assignment. If you want to hear the real music check her website - "choices" is amazing!

  21. mike  

    she's on iTunes and she's apparently touring with David Poe this summer. I say legit.

    Although I was convinced just by the video.

  22. how  

    is this girl not a campus character/celebrity?

    usually singers like this have lofts downtown and get dropped off for their "classes" by towncar...

  23. Reni  

    is not like that. she's a humble girl with huge talent. also, the unwarrented references to her social status are both offensive and false. sometimes, Columbia actually lets in some awesome people.

  24. h8t3r  

    is that what bulimia sounds like?

  25. Another opinion...

    ...from someone who has never met or even heard of Reni before today.

    Yes I was a bit skeptical after that video, but it looks and sounds basically like what it is, a hastily-constructed, last minute response to an assignment done by someone with obvious talent.

    Go to her website though, and you'll see the bigger picture, which is that she's has a charming, approachable, girl-next-door appeal, and her voice is, quite simply put, amazing. That, coupled with the fact that that her songs are dark and poignant, and sound more interpol/radiohead than coldplay/fall-out boy gives her an A++ in my book, regardless of how she did on that assignment.

    I may even go to her show downtown next week, as listed on her myspace page.

    And that's all coming from a girl who rarely if ever likes female singers...

  26. lol  

    this girl's in my fundamentals of western music class. she rarely shows up. turns out it's because she's on tour? awesome!

  27. whateva yo  

    music = wack

    4:33 4eva

  28. indeed  

    this girl is way too skinny. clever video, I admit, but submitting it to the Bwog herself? a little pompous there, Remi? whatever, I get it, you're a musician, but for god's sake go to john jay and eat some greasy foods, cake, ice cream, SOMETHING. Bones are not hot, honey.

    • Anonymous

      How is that even relevant? I think she is rather talented.

      Every time someone gets public exposure on Bwog, some asshole comes on and writes stuff about how they are not that cool, are rich bourgeois scum, or just doesn't keep it real. Heaven forbid anyone would actually have talent or be successful. Grow the f- up.

  29. wtf  

    I was all ready to whip out my envelope and work through the problem, but then she fucking ends it. No partial credit, F-.

    Seriously, though, funny song.

  30. penny lane

    The worst part about this whole video is like, yeah, it's tongue-in-cheek about its subject matter, but it is NOT tongue-in-cheek about (ie: she sincerely believes in) 1) her talent, 2) limitless sex appeal, 3) the hilarity of it all.

    None of those things "make it across" to me, so yeah it sucks. Radiohead and Interpol may have had big records ten and six years ago respectively, but I still remember what they sound like, and it was not digitized white-person fake-soul/r&b.

  31. haha  

    i cant believe this is being discussed. i wrote this song in 8th grade to get through history 101 and i ended up at columbia to watch Reni Laine on bwog do the same thing? where did i go wrong

  32. SWING  

    I want to have sex with you, Stephen. Speak truth to power and keep things real on the South Coast.

    • Also

      why does everyone here react to things they like by having sex with them? I mean, it's a nice idea, but that meme is getting REALLY common, at least on Bwog comments.

      Anyway, Stephen wins.

  33. Commenter #42

    Yeah! And lest any of you lazy non-post-reading idiots deigned to actually READ my post, I was talking about the darkness and complexity of her ACTUAL MUSIC on her WEBSITE.

    Not this thing, which I admitted (again, if you actually took the time to read what I was saying) was rather mediocre, but good and funny for what it was...

  34. erm

    not totally my kind of music, but she has talent. she also has a man band!
    and seriously, ghost inside (on her myspace) could be a muse song. you wouldn't even have to change the key.

  35. Wait  

    Why is no one mentioning the true sexy SEAS boys in the video? I love Raphael and Ian.

  36. yo dudes  

    if any of you fucks actually knew Reni you would know that her whole family is very skinny and have a genetic problem with it, even though they all eat a ton - she can really put down a big meal at John Jay.

    And why is every blonde skinny chick automatically a WASP and RICH? Seriously, I thought Columbia was supposed to be a very accepting campus, especially since we are one of the most diverse ivies (are the most diverse? not sure).

  37. Cool-Police  

    Calling someone rich or well-off is an insult nowadays. That'll show people for choosing to have hardworking and intelligent parents!

    Being poor = the new black

  38. nostalgia

    brings me back to the days when the insecure llc kids produced "fuck carman"

    • insecure llc kids?  

      freshman housing is hardly a way to characterize a group of students as insecure. lets face it, housing does such a horrible job of placing people. i was in the llc freshman year and not one person on my floor had any llc options in the top half of their housing ranking

  39. Raphael  

    I'm one of the hot SEAS boyz in da video (da gansta). I didn't know it at the time I had sex with Reni but I heard she also had sex with the other SEAS boy, as well as all the chicks dancers.

    But more seriously anybody interested in me??? I'm french

  40. Also,  

    I heard that the blonde SEAS boy's hair isn't his real one and that he spends $thousands on wigs (and that he can afford it because he is a WASP). Moreover, he permanently lives in a room with red strobos (like in the video) because he adamently believes that it's cool, and he is insecure about his coolness. Finally, regarding the gun he pulls out, I know from a reliable source that he always carries it around because he thinks his gun has magic powers that can protect him against the evil armies of the shadows (also with magic powers - but evil).

  41. asdf  

    this song has actually been stuck in my head all day.

  42. i like it/her  

    she is definitely cute and a little edgy and reminds me a little of heidi from the hills. also her songs (not this one but her legit album) are good and shes talented. this video is also awfully catchy and ive watched it every time i checked bwog today which is like...8 times now

  43. gawker  

    gawker picked it up and now it's getting thousands of views on youtube.

  44. the blond seas kid  

    yo, this is ian the blond seas kid yeah yeah. naw really i keep the strobos on all the time and man its way badass. i'm starting to react to it though, but last time i had a seizure but it was cool because I was pumping minor threat through my stereo so it looked like i was really rockin out, like moshin you know?

  45. wow  

    frontiers sucks, so much, and this girl is actually really talented. Bravo!

  46. person  

    This is awesome.

  47. come on  

    the video is funny. Reni is a VERY nice girl (i've met her a few times)-- definitely not a WASP, or someone who suffers from an eating disorder. her music is legit, she's a really hard working girl (has ANYONE thought to give her credit for the fact that she's trying to make a music career WHILE being at Columbia? And, if i'm not wrong, I think she even graduated high school early). The Spec interviewed her a while back about the whole thing. RELAX. SHE WAS HAVING FUN. It's hilarious. If I could have spat in the face of Frontiers of Science like that, I would have (I settled for not EVER, ONCE, going to the class.)

    but seriously haters, COME ON.

  48. hdsafasdf  


  49. BANGS

    The only thing I got from this video is that Reni Laine has bangs. Did you all get that? THE GIRL HAS BANGS. SHE VERY CLEARLY HAS BANGS. As a matter of fact, they seem to take over half of her face. BANGS. GODDAM BANGS.

  50. Libby  

    now it makes sense. saw her performing in lerner on the piano. this girl is funny. reminded me of how neurotic i was as a first year. a little misguided, but still funny. i think i recorded her playing on my cell phone. usually im pretty good at hating on people. i can only really hate on her back-up dancers they suck.

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