Helfand’s Quest

Written by

Acclaimed Columbia professor and partigoer David Helfand will be spending this fall north of the border, at Quest University in Canada.  Helfand will be a “visiting tutor” at the newly-founded university, and his faculty profile includes a link to apply to Quest in case you want to follow your favorite astrophysicist / core course founder / Varsity Show character.  For even more serious Helfand-stalkers, the website supplies his new e-mail address and a number to call him at – but the number is actually just the main QuestU line, where he probably won’t be answering phones (but with only ten professors listed, maybe he will be.)

The profile’s not a bad read: Helfand reveals his mission, “The goal is to obtain a complete picture of birth and death (for stars) in the Milky Way,” and Dave reveals himself to be a jokestar, as well as a chef, with this gem: “David believes he is a better cook than astronomer and, ambiguously, most of his colleagues who have sampled his gastronomical undertakings agree.” Unfortunately, it looks like he hasn’t come up with new material recently, since those lines have already been used in his profiles here and here.



  1. rumor  

    I heard this "visit" might presage his final departure. the poor receipt of frontiers, I gather, isn't helping his opinion of columbia.

  2. g.o.p.  

    Talk about "cut and run"--this guy puts John Murtha to shame.

  3. Hey Bwog!  

    Profile Szabla!
    He's the man

  4. holy crap  

    what do we have to do to exchange helfand permanently for the girl on the right side of the website?

    just to link again:

    hmm..upon further review there seems to be some sort of rotation. but the girl i'm tlaking about always appears in the 'international' column. a few refreshes should demonstrate her in all her glory. enjoy.

    • dude  

      quest has a ton of hotties. but yes, commenter #5, the international girl with brown hair is quite cute. unfortunately, she's been photoshopped onto a main highway so i don't expect that she'll be with us much longer.

  5. man,  

    frontiers wasn't so bad. buncha humanities haters. Blah blah blah i dont want to learn science and math, im gonna take bullshit physics for poets. suck on deez open to some numbers and shit.

  6. I was  

    dreaming of science

  7. ???  

    does anybody else feel like the people on the quest webpage are photoshopped onto the scenery?

  8. of course  

    his syllabus includes "Habits"

  9. holy crap  

    good point on the highway. stupid canadians.

  10. Squeals of Delight

    Anyone notice that Helfand looks like David The Gnome?

  11. choi

    How does he get his tie on? The beard is definitely hiding something. Maybe he never learned how to tie a tie and it's one big jumbled knot. Or maybe it's a clip-on.

  12. of course!

    So that's what St. Nicholas does for the rest of the year... he's a professional star gazer!

  13. Anonymous

    is that you?

  14. hmm  

    the post's author...DHI

    David Helfand I....
    David Helfand writes for the bwog and has a son/grandson with the same name!

    (just kidding, dont post a million comments about why im wrong kids)

  15. i guess  

    a son and grandson, otherwise hed just be sr.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.