Jun

15

The truth is out there…or something

Written by

As far as aliens, UFOs, the Kennedy assassination, God and the NBA draft lottery are concerned, the poster says it all: I want to believe. I want to credit The Conspiracy with Patrick Ewing’s 15 brilliant years as a New York Knick. But Mulder had it right: be lief and doubt are so closely intertwined that true belief is better left to the crackpots.

By such conventional standards, Josie is a crackpot. I spotted her handing out pink quartersheets near the entrance to Lerner; because of her slight build, youngish appearance and thrift store, hipster asceticism I mistook her for a musician promoting a concert. Not a bad guess–but in fact she was a member of the Society of the Ancients promoting the notion that aliens deserve an assist on everything from the pyramids to iPods.

I was immediately interested–not in aliens, of course, but in why someone would suffer the comparative humiliation of publicly pleading the case for their existence. I began chatting with her, and learned that her group has been canvassing all over the city (making her presence at Columbia somewhat arbitrary). After hearing about how humans had “obviously had help” in their seemingly “sporadic” development of new technologies, she explained to me that her group had plenty of confidence in the technological capabilities of the human race–it’s just that she and her co-ancients felt “drawn to this kind of thing.” Which means her belief is less about conspiratorial hokum than coming together in the presence of some inaccessible, external power; to, as she put it, feel like “we’re not alone.”

Josie strolled freely among passerby outside of Lerner, making the case for this unique and seemingly crackpotted brand of non-aloneness to whoever was willing to take a handbill. This blogger predicts she grew frustrated with the grizzled, academic agnosticism that discounts such fanciful human-alien cooperation, and curled up with a box set of “X-Files” season 3 DVDs–known to nerds and aficionados as the season before Mulder becomes convinced that the aliens don’t actually exist and that the government is just fucking with him.

On an impending destruction-related note: this notice appeared in the front window of the Mac yesterday, suggesting that the building’s last few traces of asbestos are being removed in preparation of its upcoming demolition. As for the demolition itself, workers informed Bwog that they are currently constructing a wooden barrier to keep the curious out and the soon-to-be-former building’s dust and debris in.

 

– ARR

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16 Comments

  1. mulderball

    Too bad the aliens couldn't help make the Spurs-Cavs series any more enjoyable to watch.

  2. Are you kidding?

    Tony Parker is fuckin' brainbusters and you're a fool if you didn't like this series. Sorry JeBron Lames sucks, suckahs.

  3. Outraged

    that that cocksucker TIm Duncan and his band of do nothings can dirty up the NBA all the way to the finals.

  4. Nate Robinson

    I'd only watch this series if the Suns were in it. Or the Knicks.

  5. watching

    Tim Duncan making those bank shots off of the glass is as riveting as watching grass grow. Although I must give him credit for his 'Can't Touch This' look when he gets called for a foul. The Suns may not win titles, but I'd watch them any day.

  6. And That

    And that my friends is why NBA fans are mentally handicapped. They'd rather watch losers lose than winners win.

  7. well

    I'm not an NBA fan, but that style of play just isn't very enjoyable. I'd love to actually play as sound as the Spurs are, but I just can't root for them when watching. Or against them, either.

  8. I Want to Deceive

    That Society of the Ancients is a viral marketing scheme for Microsoft's Halo 3. So, yeah, they are crazy, but not in the immediately apparent way.
    http://mtvgames.typepad.com/mtv_video_games_blog/2007/06/this_will_be_a_.html

  9. Prophe7

    Yeah man, sorry if SOTA messed with you, they are just part of a very elaborate ARG. still, it is the reaction like yours and soo many more that make this so much fun.

    • zygo7e

      "THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY"

      But they do want my money - in a very elaborate way - they want me to play halo 3.

      So, halo fans that found this site on Google looking for a clue about your vaunted master chef, go back to your basements and yell racial epithets into your microphones on xbox live, there's nothing for you here.

  10. halofan

    You guys know They are hired by microsoft and they are part of Alternet realalty game I is promotion for halo 3 check the bungie form if you want to know more

  11. hey guys

    i don't know if anybody posted it yet but that's a viral advertisement for halo 3

  12. hairs

    the fact checking this would have required:

    1. type "society of the ancients" into google
    2. realize that is a viral marketing scheme for halo 3.

    come on, armin! you can't have that much to do these days! it seems like you aren't even trying!

  13. CML

    THE NBA IS BORING

    viva la college hoops!

  14. ARR

    So I was duped. I take a certain comfort in the fact that such great publications as Slate, The New York Times and the New Republic have also been duped, by Monkey Fishing, Jayson Blair and Steven Glass, respectively; although I take even more discomfort in the fact that Blair and Glass got their editors fired. Getting duped has its consequences, and the best I can do is offer lame, inevitably unsatisfactory explanations as to why it happened--excuses, as it were.

    Now that I've given myself just enough rope--here are THREE REASONS WHY IT HAPPENED:

    -People pass out some crazy shit on the streets of New York. Hell, those 9/11 Truth nutjobs were on College Walk at least twice a week for the better part of a semester, and that shit's a lot crazier than believing in aliens (David Helfand believes in aliens, as he told the audience at a debate earlier this year. I doubt there are any scientists of his caliber who believe 9/11 was an "inside job.") You can get Scientologist-administered "stress tests" at subway stations all around the city for fuck's sake...so the whole put-on had the ring of believability to it, if only because I've had much loonier stuff thrust upon me before.

    -Enthusiasm. When I sat down at my computer this post practically wrote itself. Did I consciously resolve not to let the facts get in the way of a good story? No, but as commenter 14 noted, I could have researched this a little more thoroughly.

    -Josie was really convincing.

    So, I now know for next time. Admittedly this has been quite sobering. Anyway...keep reading Bwog!

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