Who said the lives of Ivy League kids are lacking in substance(s)?

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For anyone who’s spent any time at Columbia beyond Days on Campus or a guided tour, this article says nothing new. The Arkansas kid who claims that Adderall users are “nonstinky,” however, has clearly not been in an environment (read: Butler) where a thousand souls are pulling their second all-nighters with the aid of their favorite speed-like substance. As we know, those kids get funky.

But wait! Columbia kids also use happy little pills for another noble purpose: to combat the unpleasant warning-sign side-effects of drinking! Here we find OTC methods to deal with “the Asian sensation, Asian explosion, Asian flush and Asian blush.” And a posh snap-shot of Calvin Sun.

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  1. Oh snap

    That muthafucka be red as a muthafucka. Too bad he's not short, or he'd be a red-dwarf star (get it? SUN? Oh the levels!).

  2. Asian bush

    I thought you said Asian Bush, not Asian blush. I thought the accepted term was 'Asian Red Face'??

  3. i thought

    it was asian sensasian, asian explasian, et cetera. OR DID YOU MISS THE LAST INVASIAN, BWOG?

  4. great

    Wow that was a great piece of journalism guys. Sun is mentioned in the middle without ever being introduced? (Does he ever need an introduction?)

  5. asian alcoholic

    live fast, die young, leave behind a really embarrassed looking corpse

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