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For anyone who’s spent any time at Columbia beyond Days on Campus or a guided tour, this article says nothing new. The Arkansas kid who claims that Adderall users are “nonstinky,” however, has clearly not been in an environment (read: Butler) where a thousand souls are pulling their second all-nighters with the aid of their favorite speed-like substance. As we know, those kids get funky.
But wait! Columbia kids also use happy little pills for another noble purpose: to combat the unpleasant warning-sign side-effects of drinking! Here we find OTC methods to deal with “the Asian sensation, Asian explosion, Asian flush and Asian blush.” And a posh snap-shot of Calvin Sun.
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6 Comments
@asian alcoholic live fast, die young, leave behind a really embarrassed looking corpse
@great Wow that was a great piece of journalism guys. Sun is mentioned in the middle without ever being introduced? (Does he ever need an introduction?)
@i thought it was asian sensasian, asian explasian, et cetera. OR DID YOU MISS THE LAST INVASIAN, BWOG?
@Asian bush I thought you said Asian Bush, not Asian blush. I thought the accepted term was ‘Asian Red Face’??
@Oh snap That muthafucka be red as a muthafucka. Too bad he’s not short, or he’d be a red-dwarf star (get it? SUN? Oh the levels!).
@oh dear that was a lot of pun.
It appears as though even Asian Enzymes are overachievers, since they’re oxidizing too quickly and all.