Nov

1

WAKE UP! (Alternatives)

Written by

The future of your alarm clock, moving beyond the arm-swinging-snooze-slap–and a way to spice up your everyday “I’ve had sooo little sleep” small talk standby, from Bwogger Kurt Kanazawa.


clockJUMP!

I’ll just let the inventor explain this one:

Sfera is a radio alarm clock which hangs above your bed and wakes you in the morning by forcing you physically to get out of bed. When you set the alarm, the glowing Sfera gradually dims and the music gently fades out as you drift off to sleep. When the alarm chimes in the morning, the only way to silence it is to reach up and gently tap the Sfera. This action initiates the snooze function, but it also makes the Sfera rise above your head towards the ceiling. As it slowly rises away from your reach, you must stretch higher each time to gain another ten minutes of snooze. When it reaches the ceiling, you have no option but to reach for it and drag it back down to your bed – an action which switches off the alarm and forces you finally to get up.”

Sadly, this alarm clock for us deep snoozers remains a prototype.  Hear that SEAS?  I smell a Gateway project…

The rolling alarm clock



Snooze is just so convenient.  But it’s not nearly as lovely when you’re forced to chase the button: introducing CLOCKY, created by Nanda.  Like other alarms, CLOCKY allows you to set your snooze time between 0-9 minutes.  If you don’t wake up after the first snooze, CLOCKY rolls off your desk and finds a corner to hide in, forcing your sorry morning self to get up and search for him.  This alarm clock is made for those with an inner child, who still love to lay hide and seek with their parents—but remember to keep this guy away from your windows, lest you risk getting kicked out of housing BY A ROBOT.

Stop using a buzzer!

Self-explanatory.  Music is better. Period.

Classic wet washcloth

If you’re lucky enough to have your roommate nearby, or your RA, or the kid who stays in your lounge from dawn til dusk (does he sleep?), you can have him or her wake you up the way my father preferred. A step-by-step to the worst possible way to greet the day:

Step 1: wet/soak a towel

Step 2: DO NOT wring it out

Step 3: throw over sleeping victim, drowning him or her with pure enervation.

We all need help getting up in the morning.  Hope these tips help to make the advent of morning less jarring – well more so, in some cases.

9 Comments

  1. how the hell  

    did you know I overslept this morning bwog? sometimes its uncanny how good you are

  2. Judge Mukasey...  

    Does the "Classic wet washcloth" technique constitute torture?

  3. Nice  

    I like. Good show, Bwog.

  4. Hmph  

    Alarm clocks perpetrate bias incidents against my defenseless sleep EVERY DAY. As a community, we must act to rid this campus of the evil alarm clocks!

  5. Or alternatively  

    You could just never stop sleeping.

  6. come on bwog...  

    urban eye did this like 2 weeks ago. yawn.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.