An Introduction To Napping
Written by Bwog Staff
Bwog daily editor Alexandra Muhler endeavors to help students nap safely and effectively.
As freshmen, many Columbia students recognize the deep fatigue that the frenzy of the last two years of high school has wrought in their bones. Well, now you have two years to select a major, so take a break (or many), relax your pupils, and wrap yourself in your Bed, Bath & Beyond duvet. But first, read this introduction and find what type of nap will work for your schedule, so that your life won’t be ruined by the worst breed of sleep – the rogue nap.
1) Napoleonic Naps – Few people are aware that naps are named for Napoleon. All of those who are believe it because I lied and told them so. It may not appear on his Wiki, but Napoleon was accustomed to sleeping four or five hours a night and working in ten to thirty minute naps in between meetings. If your bed is snuggly enough and your room is dark enough, this will work as a great after-lunch, before-Lit Hum cure-all.
2) In-Class Naps – An inferior variety of nap, characterized by instants of nightmarish mixture of whatever the lecturer is discussing and your little anxieties and surreal dream tropes. Still worse is the repeated snap of your neck under the weight of your head that occurs when your neck muscles relax. This nap is excellent, though, as entertainment to more alert but equally uninterested students in your class.
3) Friday Naps – If you party on weekends and work hard on weeknights, you probably get less sleep in six days than you ought to get in a single day. So abandon your Friday afternoon commitments and kill your hangover with nature’s placebo: hours and hours of deep, drunken sleep.