Nov

12

Bwog Personals

Written by

Midterms month is rough, what with the long hours spent staring up at the ceiling of the Butler reading rooms (are those deer antlers? I think so!) and praying for it all to end. Might we suggest some (potentially) intimate human contact to help you recover your undoubtedly fleeting social acumen? All interested parties should contact Bwog via email and we’ll provide the $5 for the date. And as always, nominate your friends (or yourself) for a personal by emailing [email protected]


GUY FOR GIRL

Name: Kirill Skok

Year: 2010

School: CC

Major: Econ Philosophy

Hometown: New York City / Kharkov, Ukraine if we look way back.

Best Book You’ve Read For Class: Crime and Punishment and Hero of Our Time in a tie

Worst Book You’ve Read For Class: Great Expectations in 8th Grade

Most shameful thing you’ve done to procrastinate: Trolling Craigslist with a friend and penning fake responses to personals.

Beverage of choice: Water, semi-dry white wine, and Sam Adams, tied.

What are your most played songs on iTunes?:

Kargo – Sairin Elinde (Turkish Rock Song)

Dokken – Breaking the Chains

Rammstein – Wo bit du

Joy Division – Interzone

Pavement – Date with Ikea

What do you wish were your most played songs on iTunes?:  A melange of Poison, Bon Jovi, Dokken, and Twisted Sister

Favorite Morningside Heights meal: Judge Deluxe with Curly Fries, Hamdel

The title of your memoir: Wouldn’t I have to be successful before I start thinking about things like that?

Dream date, five words or less: El Bulli, Mountains, Beach Sex.

Things you’re looking forward to the most this year: Really looking forward to winter break and New Year’s

Things you’re looking forward to the least this year: Really not looking forward to the end of winter break.

 


GIRL FOR GUY

Name: Darya Deker 

Year:
’09

School: BC

Major:
Anthropology

Hometown:
Sherman Oaks, CA

Best Book You’ve Read for Class: Urbanism, Le Corbusier; El Coronel No Tiene Que Le Escriba, Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Worst Book You’ve Read for Class: Everything from

Most shameful thing you’ve ever done to procrastinate: First, I think it’s apparent that I have no shame. But to answer the question, it’d have to be the time I tried to make a dress out of an umbrella.

Beverage of choice:Caffeine-free Diet Coke, The Heights’ mango-passion margaritas  

What are your most played songs on iTunes?

1. Montanita, Ratatat
2. Gardenhead/ Leave Me Alone, Neutral Milk Hotel
3. Under Control, The Strokes
4. Ghostwriter, RJD2

What do you wish were your most played songs on iTunes?: Beirut’s cover of Grizzly Bear’s “Knife,” anything by Youngblood Brass Band, Kings of Leon, and The Unicorns.

Favorite Morningside Heights Meal: A Stroko’s or Westside Market salad; the ‘fixins’ of which are most definitely dependent on my mood.  But goat cheese is a must.

The title of your memoir: Did This Fall Out of One of Your Orifices? (taken from a conversation with my mother, c. 2002) or Where’d They Go? (this is actually the working title; I began it one afternoon last spring, upon losing my anthropology class at the Met.)

Dream date, 5 words or fewer: We wake up in Brazil

Thing you’re looking forward to most this year: Celebrating the one- and two-month anniversaries of filling out this survey, basketball season, tree-lighting on College Walk.

Thing you’re looking forward to least this year: Walking from Plimpton to 1020 in the rain/snow, reading period.

Tags:

31 Comments

  1. alexw  

    Dear Darya,

    Drinking caffeine free Diet Coke is like having sex with 12 condoms on.

  2. qqqqqqqqqqq  

    some of us cannot enjoy sex without the calming satisfaction that breakage is only 3^(12)% with 12 condoms.

    • misguided!  

      You assume that each condom's failure rate is independent when they are used at the same time. However that fails to account for the surface interactions and the increased stresses on the outer condoms. Chances of the condoms slipping off or tearing increase considerably and unless your penis is on the smaller end of the intended size range for the condoms you're using (assuming all condoms are the same size) then the outer condoms will probably break pretty quickly. You may very well end up with a probability of breakage that exceeds that of a single condom.
      However, I think the best way to further analyze the situation is via empirical testing. So ladies, please show up at my door with no fewer than one dozen condoms each and sign up for any of the available 5 minute slots. I'll report back as soon as we're done. And I have a few cigs.

  3. Curious  

    Kirill's picture looks more like one for a guy-for-guy personal.

  4. just so you know  

    Darya's great, even if she does like caffeine-free diet coke.

  5. Hunger Striker  

    Bwog, how does this relate to the hunger strike???!!!??

    • Well  

      He is eating a corn dog in his picture. I believe corn dogs are on the "no food list" for the strikers...(raises more questions: do corndogs contain any nutrients to be considered food)

  6. darya deker  

    is a goddess.

  7. Sadia  

    Darya Deker is beautiful and amazing.

  8. $5...  

    For a date? No wonder these people are looking. Pony up Bwog.

  9. Legendarya  

    Darya is pretty much the best person I know here at Columbia. Boys, she's a real catch.

  10. obviously....  

    there are way to many of darya's friends posting.

  11. i think  

    the dude is gay...

    edible penis hanging out of his mouth + pink background + choice in music = QUEER

  12. CML  

    Come on, guys. Any reading that fingers Kirill's personal as gay is superficial. Favorite meal, a JUDGE, DELUXE, from HAM DEL?

  13. me!  

    i think the girl is cute, but her apparent affinity for The Heights' beverages is a big turn off.

  14. ...

    usually the people you put up on these personals tend to not be terribly desirable but definitly not this girl... as a kazakhistani poet once said: "wa-wa-wee-wa"

    don't know her but hopefully i'll run into this girl at 1020 sometime...

  15. UKRAIN'SKA  

    DETYNA IN DA HATAAAAAA!!!!!

  16. dear kirill  

    i'd totally hitit.

  17. meme  

    I'm not Darya's friend, I only met her once at a party, but I can say I found her to be charming, awesome, and fun. Snap her up, boys!

  18. DAMN!!!  

    I'm not black, but I must say, "That bitch be fine!"

  19. Anonymous  

    I'd hit her like the fist of an angry god.

    I'd hit her like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs.

    I'd hit her so hard that the person who pulled me out would become King of England.

    etc.

  20. another

    I'd hit it like FDR hit the treadmill.

  21. rambo

    yeah Darya is a legit hot piece of ass.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.