Or so says 95-year-old philanthropist John Templeton, who, among his billionaire chums, must endow the most mystical foundation. The John Templeton Foundation has power-given millions of dollars to scientists researching questions of God, ethics, and spirituality. One of their projects, buried within their labyrinthine website, is a ranking of the colleges most committed to building character. Does Columbia, with its lessons in Western philosophical history, place? Of course not – but Columbia Colleges of South Carolina and Illinois do! Could it be our friendliness with Ahmadinejad and our enmity with the Minutemen that caused us to miss making the list? A link on the front page to an application for the 2002 edition of the ranking suggests otherwise. Still, it’s a small comfort to remember that accusations of spineless liberal-fascist asshole elitism have been flung at Columbia for ages. If John Templeton doesn’t recognize us as inheritors of the noble tradition of ethical reasoning, there’s always that noble tradition to fall back on, right?