Opening Remarks: An Anthology
Written by Bwog Staff
Check back throughout the day for a continually updated list.
Post-Modernism, Prof. Vandenberg
In post-modernism yesterday, fifty or so tightly packed, Derrida-hungry
kids waited for Prof. Vandenburg to arrive. When she still hadn’t
shown up after 25 minutes, a few witty comments started to fly about
how “post-modern” it would be for Vandenberg to let the class teach
itself. Vandenburg walked in unhurriedly a few minutes later, only to
announce, “I’m sorry…it was very post-modern: I was using my
computer clock, which I shouldn’t have done.
Of note: As of the first class, no one had yet used the abbreviation “po-mo.”
Music Hum, Prof. Loo
Loo started class out by attempting to goad some students into sharing
their current music preferences. There was a smattering of
unenthusiastic “Kanye West”‘s and “Radiohead”‘s before one eager
listener declared, “Classic rock.” Loo asked for some elaboration.
“You know,” the kid shrugged, “Like Kansas…Boston. Oh…Elton John.”
Film Noir, Prof. Douglas
Ann Douglas was doing a roll call in her Film Noir seminar and this occurred:
At least it sounded like she said “charred.” People at my end of the table gave each other a lot of “WTF” looks.
20th Century Lyric Poetry, Prof. Strand
A girl in Mark Strand’s 20th Century Lyric Poetry seminar admitted she hadn’t applied or registered (there were way too many people in the class), and he looked at her, squinting, with a look of mild disgust, and asked, “What were you thinking?”
Seminar in Political Economy, Prof. Morelli
Morelli: I don’t know anything about that topic, but I would like to collaborate.
Introduction to Poetry and Poetics, Profs. Golston and Murray
Murray: “Occasionally we will dissolve into bouts of barely concealed rage that will hopefully be pedagogically interesting.”
Introduction to Literary Theory, Prof. Robbins
He walks in and writes on the board:
Everything is X
X is a construct
“One is not born a woman; but becomes one”
He never explains or references either the first part or the Simone de Beauvoir quote.
Soil Mechanics, Prof. Ling
Professor Hoe I. Ling, a professor of Soil Mechanics in the CEEM Department opened his class today with a photo of the surface of Mars taken by the 150 million dollar Sojourner rover. Ling has a thick Chinese accent.
“Yes. Many of you might remember when a little device went to Mars. This is the first photo that the toy gave us.”
Readings in Jewish Humor, Prof. Dauber
Jeremy Dauber from Readings in Jewish Humor said of Phillip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint:
“It’s a filthy book and I hope you enjoy every filthy moment of it.”
Christianity, Prof. Somerville
Somerville: “You all are Christians, were Christians or are not Christians.”