Jan

24

Craig’s List Lite

Written by


Bwog was stumbling around in the nether-regions of Craig’s List, a confusing place brimming with possibilities of love, sex, and felony. We’ve filtered out the best (and worst) of Columbia-related posts.

Dear Professor Amazing



The way you tear into a argument– you pounce on the main points, you toy with the subtleties– makes me weak. When you take off on one of your brilliant analyses of 19th c. literature, I absolutely swoon. I love the animation of your face, the delicacy of your hands, the precision of your language, the suddenness of your laughter.

Yes, I admit it: I have tuned out seminar discussions to wonder what kind of underwear you might have on. And yes, I have allowed myself a couple ridiculous fantasies in which, through some truly transparent plot device (costume party, your late-night lamp-lit office), I have found an opportunity to kiss you.

But this is reality. So, I shall quietly show up to class tomorrow, make a small remark about James, and be on my way.

Respectfully yours,

The Smitten Graduate Student 

More PG-13 Columbia-centric findings after the jump!

Blonde Columbia General Studies Student on the Downtown 1

Hello.

You were the adorable girl with the blue general studies messenger bag. I was the tall guy in the blue striped shirt who kept making eye contact with you. We both got off at Columbus circle. You had a fantastic half-smile on your face and you kept looking down at your feet. I would have said something if I wasn’t immersed in conversation with my friends. Well, shucks, you seemed swell.

Where are Columbia Girls !

The situation is this… I’m involved in a serious long distance relationship that gives me emotional fulfillment but leaves me sexually deprived. So I’m looking to have a good time with someone that is cool and drama free. I am an intelligent, and attractive european guy who is open and creative. However, I’ve never done this before. Well, if you want to share time with me, let me know …

Maybe You Can Tell From This Mix I Made… 

(Incredibly detailed and lengthy playlist—with descriptions!—that might be of interest to some, but is too long to post.)

Actor to Play Police Officer (and has uniform already)

I am shooting a Columbia graduate film on Sunday, 1/20 and need an actor to play a police officer. The role is short, but very funny and important to the film. Please respond ONLY if you are both free on Sunday and HAVE A POLICE OFFICER’S UNIFORM which you can wear. This is vital. Thanks for your time.

Hair/Make-Up for Short Film (Columbia MFA)

Hair/Make-Up pro needed for fun short student film (Columbia University MFA Film program).

The film is called “RESOLVE” – about a pregnant woman and her cranky neighbor on New Year’s Eve.

Shooting 2 evenings: Sat Jan 19th & Sun Jan 20th

Make-up needed for only two cast members (1 male and 1 female) – both need to look tired, with realistic under-eye circles. May also need to ADD FACIAL HAIR to the guy, for a scruffy look.

Great friendly crew, no pay but meals, transportation and a copy of the film will be provided.

Please be in touch to join this project!

Thanks!

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13 Comments

  1. sad  

    I am so so lonely :( :( :(

  2. James...  

    James Joyce? If so, shame on you for thinking of that prof's underwear!

  3. Anonymous  

    Why does that make you sad? You should feel good about yourself, knowing that at least you have't been reduced to seeking romance via Craiglist! Now THAT'S lonely.

    ... unless you posted one of those first three messages. ...Did you? I'm sorry. :o(

  4. invisible_hand

    probably henry james, as joyce wrote in the 20th cent, and people usually refer to famous figures using their last names.

    anything else you'd like pedantically explained?

  5. actually columbia?  

    where does it say that professor amazing is a columbia prof? maybe i just can't see it, but all i see is that professor amazing is somewhere in manhattan.

    not that it reduces the hilarity.

  6. !!!  

    the post is signed by "columbia grad student" so unless he's decided to be a visiting student at Fordham, i'd say it's a safe inference.

    also, [email protected] is a much sadder world than even the most desperate craigslist posters.

  7. uh..  

    no it's not.

    "smitten" =/= "columbia"

    i'm with #5 though. still pretty funny.

  8. incidentally...  

    the first message was posted in the 'women seeking women' category of craigslist.

  9. Maybe

    Maybe they're talking about Henry James and Professor Posnock. If so, I'd have to guess that his undies are probably tweed.

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