Valiant Bwog reporter Dan D’Addario tries coffee-flavored Pinkberry… so you don’t have to.
The week before classes started was idyllic. I had moved back into my dorm early and my days went from movies to dinner to bar to bed. And yet, one thing happened that left a bad taste in my mouth, a literal bad taste.
An employee standing on the sidewalk was offering free samples of coffee-flavored Pinkberry, the latest flavor to “swirl” from the minds of those twisted L.A. geniuses. I’d actually enjoyed the original and green-tea flavors, so I tried it, and was swept into tastebud hell.
Imagine the worst aspects of coffee – old coffee, that’s been sitting on the pot for hours and been reduced to charred, bitter, coffee ashes, that clench your intestinal tract with a single sip. Now make it a sour yogurt. Mmm.
The chocolate chips were the only redeeming factor on my small yet unfinishable sample – I attempted to use them to cleanse my palate, a feat that took hours, and a toothbrush. Fortunately I was spared the sample with mushy, Gerber-esque bananas, and other samples were topped with strawberries and raspberries, as though the complement of berries would help the vomit-inducing yogurt be palatable.
Now, when I walk by Pinkberry, I want to warn the people inside, to tell them that they’re making a huge mistake. I only ate a few bites, and I will never look at coffee, yogurt, or the color pink the same way – what will an entire Large serving, eaten in the pursuit of novelty, do to their souls? Then, I consider the scariest notion of all – maybe they’ll like it.
14 Comments
@Yeah Grom is fucking awesome, and IMO, coffee-flavored anything blows. Then again, I’m not a coffee drinker.
@MUAH you can ask for a free sample at pinberry of any of their flavors…poor bwog actually paid for the crap =(
@dan d'asomethingo has anyone else had a crush on this kid since his bwog personal? just me?
@mmm if you like regular coffee yogurt, then you’ll probably like the coffee pinkberry. I know it is kind of an acquired taste, but some people like it (including myself)
@tasty Anyone who think Artopolis’s gelato is superior to Grom’s has clearly never been to Italy, the mecca of frozen deliciousness, and tasted real gelato. I’ve never been to il laboratorio…though I think I’ll try it once spring comes.
@LMC So it’s not the same as typical coffee ice cream / frozen yogurt?
Those from the northeast know what I mean.
@CML We should allege false advertising for not labelling the “original” flavor as “smegma.”
@expert says oh my lord the coffee yogurt is sooo badddddddd
@Jaax Artopolis is better. But only in the Village are the best ice cream places found..
@MCB Do yourself a favor and get yourself down to Grom.
@grom is garbage do both of yourselves a favor and get down to il laboratorio (http://www.laboratoriodelgelato.com/)
@helpful tip If you’re not in the mood for trekking all the way down to lower Orchard St., they serve a selection of Il Laboratorio gelato upstairs at the Union Square Whole Foods every day.
And it’s still good in winter…
@CML Pinkberry is a trendy travesty of a taste abortion. Viva la gelato at Artopolis.
@well played i like your words.