Check back throughout the day for a continually updated list.

Post-Modernism, Prof. Vandenberg

In post-modernism yesterday, fifty or so tightly packed, Derrida-hungry

kids waited for Prof. Vandenburg to arrive. When she still hadn’t

shown up after 25 minutes, a few witty comments started to fly about

how “post-modern” it would be for Vandenberg to let the class teach

itself. Vandenburg walked in unhurriedly a few minutes later, only to

announce, “I’m sorry…it was very post-modern: I was using my

computer clock, which I shouldn’t have done.

Of note: As of the first class, no one had yet used the abbreviation “po-mo.”



Music Hum, Prof. Loo

Loo started class out by attempting to goad some students into sharing

their current music preferences. There was a smattering of

unenthusiastic “Kanye West”‘s and “Radiohead”‘s before one eager

listener declared, “Classic rock.” Loo asked for some elaboration.

“You know,” the kid shrugged, “Like Kansas…Boston. Oh…Elton John.”

Film Noir, Prof. Douglas

Ann Douglas was doing a roll call in her Film Noir seminar and this occurred: 

Douglas: Richard [something]?
Kid: I go by Chad.
Douglas: I’m sorry…
Kid: Chad, like the country.
Douglas: Ah, Chad like the country. Well, at least its not Charred.
 

At least it sounded like she said “charred.” People at my end of the table gave each other a lot of “WTF” looks.

20th Century Lyric Poetry, Prof. Strand

A girl in Mark Strand’s 20th Century Lyric Poetry seminar admitted she hadn’t applied or registered (there were way too many people in the class), and he looked at her, squinting, with a look of mild disgust, and asked, “What were you thinking?”

Seminar in Political Economy, Prof. Morelli

Girl: Hi, I’m not actually a student here. At Columbia.
Morelli: Oh. You should audit.
Boy: My name is [redacted] and I’m a Ph.D hopeful. I was hoping to research with you.

Morelli: I don’t know anything about that topic, but I would like to collaborate.

Introduction to Poetry and Poetics, Profs. Golston and Murray

Murray: “Occasionally we will dissolve into bouts of barely concealed rage that will hopefully be pedagogically interesting.”

Introduction to Literary Theory, Prof. Robbins

He walks in and writes on the board:

Everything is X

X is a construct

       “One is not born a woman; but becomes one”



He never explains or references either the first part or the Simone de Beauvoir quote.

Soil Mechanics, Prof. Ling

Professor Hoe I. Ling, a professor of Soil Mechanics in the CEEM Department opened his class today with a photo of the surface of Mars taken by the 150 million dollar Sojourner rover. Ling has a thick Chinese accent.

“Yes. Many of you might remember when a little device went to Mars. This is the first photo that the toy gave us.”

Readings in Jewish Humor, Prof. Dauber

Jeremy Dauber from Readings in Jewish Humor said of Phillip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint:

“It’s a filthy book and I hope you enjoy every filthy moment of it.”

Christianity, Prof. Somerville

Somerville: “You all are Christians, were Christians or are not Christians.”