Grumpy old manPerhaps I’m a product of another era, but I’m pretty sure that bartenders used to be discouraged from sleeping with their drunk clientele.

When I was young, smoking in dorms was not only tolerated, but encouraged, goddamnit!

Call me old-fashioned, but everyone knows that the real meaning of Valentine’s day is celebrating monogamous heterosexual relationships through capitalism.

Maybe I’m just an old coot, but I liked condoms better before they were branded and free.

I may be a ninety-one years old, but there is no way Henry Ford would ever have eaten sushi.